Eugene Cho

my greatest fear and joy

When you turn 40 years old, you’re not sure if you should be looking back or looking forward. I know in my head that it’s supposed to be both as both the past and the future are significant and meaningful

But in doing so, I’ve also learned that if I’m not wise and careful, I can be so immersed in the past or the future that I may miss out on the gift of the present.

In fact, one of my constant reminders to myself – especially as a father and husband is:

to be present…

One of my biggest fears is waking up one morning Read the rest of this entry »

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time flies…

There’s a running joke amongst my staff. The joke is basically…me.

I’ll take it as a sign of their deep and profound love and affection for me. If that’s not the case, we’ll have a couple job openings at our church…

One of their jokes is how they mimic a phrase that has been recently and constantly on my heart, mind, and lips:

“Time flies…”

Turning 40 in itself last week was a big reminder of that very fact but if that wasn’t enough, I’m faced with reminders every single day when I see my children. In fact, my eldest child – “J” – just turned 12 years old.

O  M  G

Yes, 12 years old. It wasn’t that long ago when we celebrated her 2nd birthday. Happy Birthday to “J” but here my question to you: Read the rest of this entry »

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how fast time flies…

The phrase:

How fast time flies….

has been on my lips, heart, and soul in this season of my life. Call it my mid-life “reflection” as I approach the big 40 in October.

How do I know I’m aging? Read the rest of this entry »

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a deeper appreciation of my father

Yesterday was Father’s Day and like many of you, I took some time to reflect upon my relationship with my father.

There’s so much to share. One thing I am convicted of is to strive to live without regrets in the relationships of my lives. I don’t want to be on my deathbed – many years from now – with regrets over relationships that I can impact, influence, and invest – now.

Some reflections of my relationship with my father: Read the rest of this entry »

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reason #17,251 why i respect my wife

I don’t have a perfect marriage. I am not perfect. Minhee, my wife, is not perfect as well.

We have shared some of our mistakes in our marriage. I share about my funk. But having said all of this, we love one another and live by grace within the covenant of marriage…

I also respect and admire her for so many things. Some of them include her gentleness, humility, and…her sense of humor. I walked into our bedroom last Sunday with her doing her facial mask thing (which she rarely does). It made me laugh since it kind of scared me.  I took a picture and when I threatened to post in on Facebook, she responded:

“You should. People need to laugh and enjoy life.”

After I posted the picture (below), many commenters freaked out Read the rest of this entry »

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the 3 biggest mistakes i’ve made in marriage

In the recent months, the other pastors and I have been teaching on the numerous aspects and layers of relationships. And recently, I had the nervous but enjoyable experience of teaching with my wife, Minhee, as we shared about our marriage.

On the blog, I’ve recently shared my Top 10 Wedding Advice and Top 10 Marriage Advice. During our sermon, we shared our answers to the following questions:

  • Three things Minhee would like to share with all the husbands at Quest and three things I’d share with all the wives at our church.
  • Three biggest mistakes we’ve made in our marriage. We each shared our own.
  • Three things we appreciate the most of one another.
  • And some final exhortations including the key to our marriage: “Bless one another.”

Several years ago, I wouldn’t have had the guts to have my wife teach alongside me – especially about our marriage. Not that our marriage is a mess in any way but I was more interested in projecting a certain image of who and what I thought I should be as a pastor – especially as the lead pastor. But when you’re a few months shy of 40 years old, you don’t care Read the rest of this entry »

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top 10 marriage advice

Well, it would only make sense to follow up the list of my Top 10 Wedding advice by sharing with you my Top 10 marriage advice. And eventually, I should go back and share my list of dating advice.

Minhee and I have been married for nearly 14 years and we’ve learned so much. I also promise to share our “biggest mistakes.” Anyway, I’m not Dr. Phil or Dr. Gottman but here’s my Top 10 Marriage advice or rather, my 9 advice and a request for you to contribute:

1. Expectations

  • In dating and courtship and in the decision to life together, you’re ultimately agreeing to certain expectations. Not expectations of perfection but expectations of who, what, where, when, and why.  Marriage – not in a contractual way  but in a covenant way is an honoring of those expectations…
  • Which is why it’s so important that you marry the “right” person and continue “being” the right person. Read the rest of this entry »

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theology of singlehood II and the “big question”

Here’s part 2 of my sermons on a theology of singlehood as part of a larger series on Relationships.  As you listen/watch the sermon,  I do have a question and would love to get some feedback. It’s the most prominent question I’ve received over the past couple weeks as I’ve taught on singlehood:

You say that singlehood is a choice and a response to God’s revelation. I agree in part but what if it’s NOT a choice. What do you do when you’re single not by choice but because there’s no one out there. What do you do?

The above question is what I’ll be teaching on over the next couple weeks along with the importance of focusing and investing on the three primary aspects: passion, vision, and mission. But how would you pastorally answer that question above?

Here’s the description of the above sermon (articulated by our video/audio staff lead: Mr. Randor 2K): Read the rest of this entry »

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beauty and the beast – 13 years

anniversary2

On February 1, 1997, Minhee and I exchanged vows and committed ourselves to Christ, one another, our families and community –  the journey of loving, serving, and growing as husband and wife, father and mother, and mutual followers of Christ.  Today, we celebrate our 13th anniversary.  I know that it is customary [and wise] to speak well of your spouse on your anniversary but Minhee truly is an expression and embodiment of God’s grace and beauty to my life. Our marriage – while clearly not perfect – remains focused on the three pillars I often share with others:  Passion.  Vision.  Mission.

We met in Korea and dated for a week before I returned to the States. We engaged in many phone calls and probably exchanged over a thousand letters since we both weren’t using this technology called ‘electronic mail.’ Just in case some of you don’t know what letters are…it’s when you put a pen to paper and write.

And while people boast of their marriage proposal stories, I’m pretty sure mine is the most romantic and unique:

The summer before our wedding [while I was still a student in seminary in New Jersey], I put on my best suit, got on my knees, picked up the phone to call Minhee in Korea, and in my best Korean drama voice…asked her to marry me.🙂

Here’s our wedding photo that still continues to amaze people. Minhee looks her usual photogenic self and I’ve been told I look “very different” – so different that people ask if it’s her “first husband.” Read the rest of this entry »

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the most difficult year of my life

Since everything is so current, I may be biased but 2009 has been one of the most (if not the most) difficult year of my life – and yet, incredibly formative for the reasons I share below.

How was this past year for you?

As part of our human inclination and disposition, we make plans and we do all that we can to pursue those plans. Things turn bad when some of those plans don’t come to pass. Things suck when everything feels it’s moving in the opposite trajectory of what you hoped for.

In their hearts human beings plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9

To list a few challenging things in 2009: Read the rest of this entry »

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stuff, connect, info

one day’s wages | video

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Today, Minhee and I dropped off our eldest child at her college. We have been thinking and praying about this day for many years. On some days, we hoped it would never come. On other days, we couldn't wait for it to come. On some days, we prayed for time to stop and other days, we prayed with anticipation. 
After an entire summer of laughing it off, it hit us...hard...this week. Seeing all of her stuff laid out on the basement floor was the catalyst to a load of emotions.

After unloading the car and taking her stuff to her new home for this year and mindful that she might never live with us again; helping sort out her stuff, saying hello to her roommates...I wasn't sure what to do or say.

A flood of thoughts rushed my mind.

Is she ready?
Have we done enough?
Have we taught her enough? 
What if this? What if that?

And so we shared what we have shared with her the moment she began to understand words: "Remember who you are. Remember WHO you belong to. Remember what you're about. God loves you so much. Please hold God's Word and His promises close and dear to your heart. We love you so much and we are so proud of you." And with that, we said goodbye. Even if she may not be thousands of miles away, this is a new chapter for her and even for us. I kept it composed. Her roommate was staring at me. I didn't want to be that father. I have street cred to uphold. Another final hug. 
And I came home.
And I wept.
Forget my street cred.
I miss her. I love her.
She will always be my little baby.

I'm no parenting guru. I just laughed as I wrote that line. No, I'm stumbling and bumbling along but I'd love to share an ephiphany I learned not that long ago. Coming to this realization was incredibly painful but simultaneously, liberating. To be honest, it was the ultimate game-changer in my understanding as a parent seeking after the heart of God.

While there are many methods, tools, philosophies, and biblical principles to parenting, there is – in my opinion – only one purpose or destination.

Our purpose as parents is to eventually…release them. Send forth. For His glory. Met a friend and fellow pastor who I haven't seen in over 20 years. In him, I saw a glimpse of my future. While only 10 years older, his kids are married and he's now a grandfather of 3. His love for his wife and family were so evident and his passion for the Gospel has not wavered. It was so good to see someone a bit older still passionately serving the Lord with such joy and faithfulness. Lord, help me to keep running the race for your Glory. Happy wife.
Happy life. - Eugenius 3:16

I still remember that time, many years ago, when Minhee was pregnant with our first child. She had left her family and friends in Korea just two years before. Her morning sickness was horrible and when she finally had an appetite, she craved her favorite Korean food from certain restaurants in her neighborhood in Seoul, Korea. I had no way of getting that food from those restaurants so I actually said, "How about a Whopper? Big Mac?" Sorry honey. Eat away. You deserve it. I don't care if it sounds mushy but sunsets are one of my love languages. Seoul, Korea was amazing but WOW...what a breathtaking welcome back sunset by Seattle. Not ready to let go of summer. Seattle. 7:00pm. Desperately holding on to summer. #goldengardenpark #nofilter Happy Birthday, Minhee! I'm so grateful for you. You radiate faith, hope, and love.  No...you don't complete me. That would be silly and simply humanly impossible but you keep pointing me and our family to Christ who informs and transforms our lives, marriage, family, and ministry. Thanks for being so faithful. I love you so much. (* And what a gift to be in Korea together.)

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