growing in love with my father

I love my father but it took me nearly 39 years to tell him those words – face to face.  It only happened recently. Why or how? I’ll leave it to the psychoanalysts.

While I’ve always loved him so passionately, a big gap began to wedge in our relationship during my adolescent years which is probably the one thing I pray for as my eldest enters into middle school. For several years, I wasn’t quite sure why that was the case.

But after further consideration, I think it is directly linked to fishing. My fondest memory as a kid was going fishing with my father. Everything I know about fishing I learned from my father. But during my teenage years, I became too cool for my father and no longer responded to his invitations to go fishing.

I guess it’s for that reason that I try to fish as much with my father as possible. Every year, I try to take couple weeks to spend some time with my parents and to especially continue the fiery debate with my father:

“Who is a better fisherman?”

Recently, my family took a 3231 mile drive around the Northwest and Midwest and meeting up with my folks for some great quality time including Fishing with my Dad and fishing with my kids. In the video above, I just talked too much…pretending that I know more about fishing than my father but clearly, you can tell he knows what he’s doing. It was truly amazing to watch him scope the water, cast his lure, set the hook, and bring in the fish. Only those who fish regularly know how difficult it can be to bring in a fish when they’re buried under plants and weeds. [No fish were harmed in the filming of this video…]

Later, I caught a huge 4 pound bass and was feeling pretty good about myself. But my father goes out and snags this six pound bass to claim the title once again.  Win or lose, I don’t care anymore. I’m fishing with him again and that is my victory.

10 thoughts on “growing in love with my father

  1. I grew up with a dad that hugged me and kissed me virtually everyday – and that never stopped until he died when I was 46. How blessed is that!!! I never found it within me to go through an adolescent rebellion. It never occurred to me. But strangely we never did anything together. What’s up with that!!! I remember once he threw ball with me for 2 or 3 minutes. That’s about all we ever did, that 2 or 3 minutes. My wife looked on in amazement when I balled like a baby when we saw “Field of Dreams.”

  2. E-
    your post has ironic timing for me. i will be leaving for a family trip in a couple days. 7 night cruise to mexico. this would normally sound like a grand time, but a cloud of dread looms over me, as the date approaches. this will be our first family trip in over 20 years. i cannot help but have ominous thoughts of what will happen on the trip.
    I too have had less than a perfect relationship with my father. we have even butted heads on things leading up to the trip. my only thoughts are of how i can avoid him for the entire time we are together. lets hope that my experience can somewhat mirror yours. that this time was given to create a bridge of closeness in our relationship, and not a divide. I think prayer and patience might be the key.
    fishing was a activity my father and i also did when i was younger (i no longer enjoy it). Heck, maybe the ship will let us drop a line into the water together? Thanks for the post.
    sam.

  3. When I read the first two paragraphs of the post, I thought I was reading my the biography of my relationship with my dad. He and I grew apart (or maybe it was me growing away from him) when I got into high school.

    It really wasn’t until I got married and had a family of my own that we started growing back together, a process that still continues.

    Like you, I’ll leave the reasons to the psychoanalysts.

  4. “No fish were harmed…” does it matter any fish were harmed? There’s nothing wrong with catching your fish. Either that was a sly joke, or a little too PC for my taste.

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