Eugene Cho

growing in love with my father

I love my father but it took me nearly 39 years to tell him those words – face to face.  It only happened recently. Why or how? I’ll leave it to the psychoanalysts.

While I’ve always loved him so passionately, a big gap began to wedge in our relationship during my adolescent years which is probably the one thing I pray for as my eldest enters into middle school. For several years, I wasn’t quite sure why that was the case.

But after further consideration, I think it is directly linked to fishing. My fondest memory as a kid was going fishing with my father. Everything I know about fishing I learned from my father. But during my teenage years, I became too cool for my father and no longer responded to his invitations to go fishing.

I guess it’s for that reason that I try to fish as much with my father as possible. Every year, I try to take couple weeks to spend some time with my parents and to especially continue the fiery debate with my father:

“Who is a better fisherman?”

Recently, my family took a 3231 mile drive around the Northwest and Midwest and meeting up with my folks for some great quality time including Fishing with my Dad and fishing with my kids. In the video above, I just talked too much…pretending that I know more about fishing than my father but clearly, you can tell he knows what he’s doing. It was truly amazing to watch him scope the water, cast his lure, set the hook, and bring in the fish. Only those who fish regularly know how difficult it can be to bring in a fish when they’re buried under plants and weeds. [No fish were harmed in the filming of this video…]

Later, I caught a huge 4 pound bass and was feeling pretty good about myself. But my father goes out and snags this six pound bass to claim the title once again.  Win or lose, I don’t care anymore. I’m fishing with him again and that is my victory.

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10 Responses

  1. Don Bryant says:

    I grew up with a dad that hugged me and kissed me virtually everyday – and that never stopped until he died when I was 46. How blessed is that!!! I never found it within me to go through an adolescent rebellion. It never occurred to me. But strangely we never did anything together. What’s up with that!!! I remember once he threw ball with me for 2 or 3 minutes. That’s about all we ever did, that 2 or 3 minutes. My wife looked on in amazement when I balled like a baby when we saw “Field of Dreams.”

  2. Matt says:

    that’s awesome. My fondest memories with my dad is working at his store as a kid…. lol.

  3. […] growing in love with my father « eugene cho eugenecho.wordpress.com/2009/09/18/growing-in-love-with-my-father – view page – cached I love my father but it took me nearly 39 years to tell him those words – face to face. It only happened recently. Why or how? I’ll leave it to the — From the page […]

  4. sam says:

    E-
    your post has ironic timing for me. i will be leaving for a family trip in a couple days. 7 night cruise to mexico. this would normally sound like a grand time, but a cloud of dread looms over me, as the date approaches. this will be our first family trip in over 20 years. i cannot help but have ominous thoughts of what will happen on the trip.
    I too have had less than a perfect relationship with my father. we have even butted heads on things leading up to the trip. my only thoughts are of how i can avoid him for the entire time we are together. lets hope that my experience can somewhat mirror yours. that this time was given to create a bridge of closeness in our relationship, and not a divide. I think prayer and patience might be the key.
    fishing was a activity my father and i also did when i was younger (i no longer enjoy it). Heck, maybe the ship will let us drop a line into the water together? Thanks for the post.
    sam.

  5. Joe Chavez says:

    When I read the first two paragraphs of the post, I thought I was reading my the biography of my relationship with my dad. He and I grew apart (or maybe it was me growing away from him) when I got into high school.

    It really wasn’t until I got married and had a family of my own that we started growing back together, a process that still continues.

    Like you, I’ll leave the reasons to the psychoanalysts.

  6. tewkewl says:

    “No fish were harmed…” does it matter any fish were harmed? There’s nothing wrong with catching your fish. Either that was a sly joke, or a little too PC for my taste.

  7. Joseph Lee says:

    Yah, definitely had good times fishing with my dad, not sure what it is but for some reason, fishing and crabbing was always a good time. Nice post pe.

  8. Eugene Cho says:

    @tewkewl: you must not know my sense of humor yet.

    it’s pretty dry.

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stuff, connect, info

One Day’s Wages

My Instagram

41 years ago today, our family immigrated to the United States from Seoul, South Korea. I was six years old; the youngest of three sons. My father, when he was also six, fled from what is now known as North Korea. Just recently, he shared with me that he and some of his family had been in a refugee camp when war and violence broke out on the Korean peninsula. It's emotional thinking about what my brothers and I went through coming to a completely foreign country. It wasn't easy. And then, I think about what my parents had to go through:

They fled their homes near Pyongyang which also meant leaving some of their extended families.

They experienced unfathomable hunger and poverty.

They experienced the pain of war.

They immigrated again to the United States as adults with minimal resources and a handful of English words.

All in hopes that their children would have the opportunities that were never afforded to them.

I'm thinking of my brothers today. I'm thinking of my parents and honoring them for their sacrifice and tenacity. And finally, I'm thinking of refugees and immigrants all around the world that are yearning for family, peace, hope, and opportunities. Don't reduce Martin Luther King Jr. to a yearly quote on social media. Live out the dream. Seek first the Kingdom of God. Confront evil. Be a truth-teller. Seek justice. Love mercy. Pursue reconciliation. Build bridges. Love your neighbors. Forgive your enemies. Pray unceasingly. Live a committed life of peace, love, and justice.

The God who deposited this dream into MLK is still speaking to us today.

Be brave. "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." ~ Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Here's the full context of his famous quote: "The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that." An important word for the Church... Oh, how God loves the nations. The Scriptures make this so clear. No one - let alone, the leader of a country - should ever disparage other nations with such a disgusting comment.

To the beautiful people of Haiti, El Salvador, and of the many countries of Africa: We are so sorry. Please accept our apologies on behalf of President Trump.

I've had the privilege of being in Haiti twice and numerous countries in Africa including Kenya where I took this picture during an afternoon drive near Kijabe. In many of these visits, I witnessed such creativity, courage, leadership, hospitality and kindness. To follow Jesus without obedience, repentance, self-denial, and dying to self is an oxymoron. In other words, are we more in love with the idea of following Jesus than actually following Jesus?

Grateful for an incredible Sunday at @seattlequest of beginning our 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting.

my tweets

  • Be humble. The world is bigger than your view of the world. And certainly, God is much bigger than your view of God. || 16 hours ago
  • 41 years ago today, our family immigrated to the United States from Seoul, South Korea. I was… instagram.com/p/BeEoA_ogLtx/ || 3 days ago
  • Don't be lazy and make assumptions about people. Ask about their story. Then listen. Be humble. Be teachable. Be human. Be a good neighbor. || 4 days ago
  • Don't reduce Martin Luther King Jr. to a yearly quote on social media. Live out the dream.… instagram.com/p/Bd_bYCDgM9h/ || 5 days ago
  • Everyone loves the idea of justice...until there's a personal cost. But there's always a cost to justice. Grateful… twitter.com/i/web/status/9… || 6 days ago
  • RT @BerniceKing: As you honor my father today, please remember and honor my mother, as well. She was the architect of the King Legacy and f… || 6 days ago