On February 1, 1997, Minhee and I exchanged vows and committed ourselves to Christ, one another, our families and community – the journey of loving, serving, and growing as followers of Christ and as husband and wife – in mutual submission to one another.
Today, we celebrate our 15th anniversary.
Wow. 15 years of love, mutual submission, forgiveness, and love.
I can’t even begin to wrap my heart and mind over everything that’s transpired over the past three years. I’m grateful for God’s provision and faithfulness. But I’m also a bit drained which is why I’m so thrilled to share that I officially begin my sabbatical today.
Every three years, I take 3 months off from my work as a pastor at my church.
When my wife and I planted Quest nearly 10 years ago, we had one very important request and that was to take a sabbatical every three years. Typically (for some churches and senior pastors), they take one year off every 7th year. I didn’t want to do that because waiting 7 years would have killed me and being away from a church community for an entire year would have been difficult in light of so many changes that take place in a young church.
Anyway, I’m so grateful to my staff and Quest Church for being so gracious and enabling me to have this gift. I treasure it.
In Asian culture, it’s usually customary not to speak highly of yourself, and even more so, to speak highly of your spouse.
In this case, I can’t help it. In fact, I have and make no apologies. I think it’s more than appropriate to celebrate a special person in my life – my partner, wife, and best friend. I am amazed and encouraged by my wife, Minhee – even more so after 15 years of marriage – and mutually seeing all of our collective flaws and blemishes.
And there are a lot of flaws and blemishes. More with her than me…but I digress. This is a tribute and not a roast. 😉
In our marriage and family, people naturally see me because of my visible role in numerous capacities. If I am the face of our family (and not a pretty one at that), she is certainly the heart.
And oh, how she beats…
Not only do I love her but…I know her – and I respect her deeply:
She left all that was familiar and comfortable in Korea to trek to the United States to begin our new life together – at the difficult adult age of 26. She left family, friends, her native language, culture, her job, etc. She left everything out of love and covenant to begin our lives anew in a new and foreign land. Continue reading “a tribute to my imperfect wife and best friend”
Well, it would only make sense to follow up the list of my Top 10 Wedding advice by sharing with you my Top 10 marriage advice. And eventually, I should go back and share my list of dating advice.
Minhee and I have been married for nearly 14 years and we’ve learned so much. I also promise to share our “biggest mistakes.” Anyway, I’m not Dr. Phil or Dr. Gottman but here’s my Top 10 Marriage advice or rather, my 9 advice and a request for you to contribute:
In dating and courtship and in the decision to life together, you’re ultimately agreeing to certain expectations. Not expectations of perfection but expectations of who, what, where, when, and why. Marriage – not in a contractual way but in a covenant way is an honoring of those expectations…
Since everything is so current, I may be biased but 2009 has been one of the most (if not the most) difficult year of my life – and yet, incredibly formative for the reasons I share below.
How was this past year for you?
As part of our human inclination and disposition, we make plans and we do all that we can to pursue those plans. Things turn bad when some of those plans don’t come to pass. Things suck when everything feels it’s moving in the opposite trajectory of what you hoped for.
In their hearts human beings plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9
As a parent, having a sick child is horrible – especially because you want to “fix” things but often can’t. As a parent, taking your child to the ER because of a possible life threatening situation is probably the worst.
Yesterday, Minhee and I experienced one of the scariest days of our lives.
Our 11 year old daughter has some pretty bad food allergies since birth: eggs, shellfish, and all nuts. She’s “overcome” the egg allergies but she’ll likely need to deal with the others for the rest of her life.
Yesterday at church, she unknowingly had something that she thought was okay but may of had some walnuts.