Eugene Cho

this is the reason why i am in ministry…

If I am truly honest, there are times – every now and then – when I wonder, “Am I making a difference?”

Do you ever have doubts?

Should I continue with ministry?

[insert your questions here…]

But somehow by God’s grace, He sustains you and reminds you that despite our insufficiencies and insecurities, God can still work through your life.

I received this email this week and with permission, I share it with you in hopes of encouraging anyone who’s reading it – either because you are going through something gut wrenchingly similar to this person or if you’re wondering if your ministry, prayers, counseling, or teaching might be in vain.

To the person in deep pain:

  • Despite what you may have heard or been shown, “You are loved. You are not alone. God loves you. God is with us.”

To the pastor or ministry leader drowning in doubt:

  • Your ministry is not in vain. Keep loving, serving, teaching, and encouraging. “Feed my sheep.”

Being a pastor can be so overwhelming but it is so amazing to see Hope Restored.

This is the reason why I am in ministry:

My name is _______, and I’ve been coming out to Quest for _______.  I just wanted to email you and tell you how much your sermon today on family relationships meant to me; and I just wanted to briefly tell you of my story behind why I connected to today’s sermon so much.

I’m in my second year at the University of Washington, and I have been living with my parents all my life.  I really related to your story when you talked more about your family; perhaps I could relate because I come from a Korean background as well. Even still, I have never really heard my parents apologize to me or even tell me the simple but meaningful phrase of “I love you.”

My mother has criticized me for as long as I can remember about my body image and the appearance of beauty – she always told me (and still continues to tell me) that I am not quite “beautiful” yet and how I have much work to do to get myself to “beauty”; There hasn’t been a day where I haven’t been reminded about how I’m not as “skinny as other Korean girls.” My father criticizes me about the career choice I am studying for and always reminds me how disappointed he is about me giving up my previous hope of going into the field of pre-med; I have heard from his own mouth that I am a failure countless times.  I’ve held onto every negative thing they have thrown at me and eventually found myself feeling guilty as if perhaps I just wasn’t good enough.

In the past month and a half, the anger, guilt, and sadness inside of me had been increasingly building up because the hurtful words seemed to escalate even more.  I was so blinded with these negative feelings that I never once asked God to help chip away the hardness that I had created in my heart.  I tried to handle all the negative feelings I had kept inside on my own and it backfired; a week ago, I took a bottle of sleeping pills and I tried to end my life.  At the time I felt as though there was just too much sadness and hurt for one person to handle.

However, now I realize that we’re never alone; God has been with me the whole time – I just failed to take a closer look.  I thank God that my attempts failed since I am here today writing you this email.  When listening to your sermon today, the part that hit me was when you said that we needed to reconcile our relationships even though it may take a lot of time.  So for the first time in a while, I fell to my knees and prayed to God that he would chip the hardness of my heart away.  And I can say with all honesty that I feel him working within my heart.  I just wanted to thank you for your message today.  I also was wondering if you would pray for me and my journey of reconciliation and healing…

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13 Responses

  1. your friend says:

    I was trying to help a friend with very similar pain. As I prepared MY OWN PAIN from the past came up! That made me feel incapable of being able to help my dear sister in pain. Then God spoke to my heart that I should not attempt what on GOD can do. All I can do is to point to the HEALER! And doing this together is a comfort in itself.

  2. Ben says:

    Simply awesome. Thank you for sharing this e-mail. I pray that as a future father I may not exasperate my children, but love them for who they are. I just prayed for the person who sent the e-mail.

  3. Eric says:

    Eugene, such a great story! Thank for sharing!

  4. Colleen says:

    Thanks Eugene, what an excellent reminder.

  5. Wow. Thanks, PE. In Henri Nouwen’s book, “The Wounded Healer” he talks about how as Christians, as ministers of the gospel who “proclaim liberation [are] called not only to care for [their] own wounds and the wounds of others, but also to make [their] wounds into a major source of [their] healing power.” It sounds like God is already redeeming the story of the author of this letter. 🙂

    Sister, whoever you are: Know that I am and will be praying for you. Praise Him for your life, your story, and your testimony to his transformative power. Peace be with you.

  6. Mark says:

    That’s a good reminder for doing what we have been called to do. Thanks for sharing.

  7. Josh says:

    It seems that these sorts of things always tend to find us at just the right time….good stuff.

  8. Angela N says:

    I can understand her pain. Sometimes life can be so overwhelming that you feel like there is no reason to continue. But God always finds a way to show you he is till there & that he loves us even in the midst of our pain.
    Thanks for sharing this w/ us.

  9. […] this is the reason why i am in ministry… […]

  10. Thank you for sharing this, what a powerful response to God’s power. What a great reminder to all of us, in ministry or not, that we must continue to share God’s love with others. Only He knows where and how it will work.

  11. […] this is the reason why i am in ministry… […]

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One Day’s Wages

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"He must become greater; I must become less." - John 3:30 We have to remind ourselves of this truth every day lest we forget:

Our greatest calling as followers of Christ is to be faithful. Not spectacular. Not glamorous. Not popular. Not relevant.

Be faithful.

PS: Also, it helps to get some Vitamin D especially if you live in the rainy Northwest Thank you, Brooklyn, for the reminder. Umm, @jlin7 is a Christian but he wasn't very Christlike with me on the basketball court. He muscled me into the paint, dunked on me, mentioned my momma, and then said, "Stick with preaching." Just kidding. Kind of.

If you haven't heard, Jeremy Lin is donating his one games wages (approximately $140,000) and an additional $100 for every 3 pointer made to support Girls' Empowerment and Education through @onedayswages. That game is this Friday vs the Boston Celtics!

Join his campaign as he's inviting his fans to donate just $7. - http://onedayswages.org/jlin

Did you know that 32 million girls of lower secondary school age are not enrolled in school.

Did you know that every year of secondary school increases a girl’s future earning power by 20 percent.

Did you know that if all girls in Sub-Saharan Africa, South and West Asia had a secondary education, child marriage would fall by 64 percent.

We can't change the entire world but we can impact the lives of one, few, and in some cases...many.

#jeremylin #jlin #linsanity #onedayswages Don't be held captive to either praise or criticism.

Know who you are.
Know what you're about.
Know WHO you serve.

The answer to who you serve makes all the difference... It's the day after International Women's Day - and it's still important to celebrate the contribution of women in our lives, society, and world. As we honor women all around the world, I'm also reminded of how women and children are those who are most deeply impacted by injustice - especially poverty.

Sadly, I have witnessed this reality in too many places. ​In 2012, I traveled to a remote area in Eastern Kenya as part of a @onedayswages response to a famine that struck the Horn of Africa region. This famine impacted nearly 13 million people and according to some sources, took the lives of about 250,000 people. During my trip there, I had the chance of meeting many people but the person that still remains in my memory was a Muslim woman named Sahara.

She was so hospitable in inviting us to her small and temporary home. During our conversation, I learned that ​Sahara traveled 300 kilometers (a little under 200 miles) – some by cart and some by foot – as they sought to escape the worst drought that has impacted East Africa (Kenya, Somalia, and Ethiopia) in the past 60 years.

This is not a misprint.
200.

She traveled about 200 miles on cart and foot. ​And all along, she was ill. If you look closely ​at the photo, you might notice the large lump in her throat - likely a large cancerous tumor.​ She did not travel alone. She traveled with her husband who I was not able to meet because he was staying with one of his five other wives in this polygamist community.  She did not travel alone. She also traveled with her six children – the youngest being about 1 and the oldest being around 8. She had just given birth to her sixth child when they began her journey. Her youngest was severely malnourished when they arrived to this new settlement in a town called Benane. 
Sahara and her children all survived this journey. They survived because she persisted. 
In honor of Sahara...and so many other women who keep...keeping on.

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