Eugene Cho

my biggest fear

My biggest fear is waking up one morning and realize that I’m on my death bed.  And as I reflect on my life, I have regrets about my family – particularly with my children.  Or simply, that it all went by so quick – and I missed it.

There are days like today when I cannot believe how big my children are and how fast they are growing.  Minhee and I feel so privileged to be the parents to our three children.  And today, we celebrate our 2nd child’s birthday.  TC turns eight years old today.

We obviously love all of our children but TC has a special place in our hearts because she was born at the lowest point of my life.  We had left our previous church months ago with the conviction and call to plant a church but we had no idea how difficult the new year would be:

  • I was unemployed and had been looking for work for several months
  • we became financially broke
  • the kids were on foods stamps and the WIC program
  • I felt like a failure for letting down my wife and kids since I felt like I couldn’t provide for them
  • the job I eventually got was working as a custodian at a retail store
  • I had grown increasingly frustrated about not being able to get Quest Church off the ground

Mostly, I was angry because I had “lost” control over my life.

When TC was born, it was like a “miraculous” birth.  She was born in about 4 minutes after Minhee laid on the hospital bed.  There were no drugs, no epideral, and no doctor.  She experienced sharp pain, pushed several times, and the next thing you know, the nurse and I – in panic and frenzy – saw the crown, then the body, and then Minhee and I cried like we’ve never cried before.  We sensed God speaking to us so intimately:  

I love you.  I am with you.  I have not forgotten you. 

Enough of my existential ponderings and angst.  No need to live in fear but to live in joy, contentment and to enjoy God and all of life’s blessings in the here and now.

Thank you God for the gift of our children.  Minhee and I want to treasure, nurture, and enjoy them. 

Happy Birthday TC!

Filed under:

18 Responses

  1. amanda says:

    what a beautiful story. and two wonderful pictures! happy birthday!!!

  2. westcoastswing77 says:

    i am saying a prayer for you and your family, that you will preach the word until you get very very old. may God give you wisdom to run the race

  3. JB says:

    So dang cute!!! I love that photo! She’s a special kid, and I know just how you feel.

  4. chad m says:

    i actually thought some of these same things about my daughter after reading your post on dong yun yoon the other day. i can’t imagine losing my wife and daughter. i cherish my time with them…blessings and peace to you and you family!

  5. Phyllis says:

    wow. thanks for posting that… happy birthday to your little girl!

  6. Man… can I relate to parts of your journey. Thanks for your vulnerability! Birthdays have such a potential of bringing great memories to mind… and hope for the future. I hope yesterday brought both for you and your family.

  7. keren says:

    oh happy birthday, tc! what a lovely father you are too…you’re totally making me cry.

  8. that was very touching and encouraging Eugene. Thank you for that.

  9. sis says:

    Happy Birthday TC from your aunt in Korea
    It was so good to spend some time with you this summer
    I love you

  10. Jim Chen says:

    Happy b-day TC!

  11. Scooter says:

    Children are so precious! Great post man! The huge challenge is keeping them ahead of the demands of ministry. So easy to justify ministry activity trumping them by telling yourself God’s work is more important. It’s a real easy lie to believe. Being an involved father has to be one of the greatest things any man can do to move God’s kingdom forward. God bless you Dad! Give all your children your B.E.S.T. every day!
    B- BLESS
    E-ENCOURAGE
    S-SHARE
    T-TOUCH

    love to all

  12. Wayne says:

    I know this story so well, almost point for point we identify… ‘cept for the happy ending. ours ended differently and while sad we can’t complain.. he is Faithful.

  13. Ben C says:

    I’m a fan of the Cho family.

  14. Pastor, thanks so much for sharing this. My hubby and I are broke right now, so this is an inspiration. Blessings to you and your kids and wife today.

  15. Well, for what it’s worth, I doubt there are many parents out there that don’t have some regrets about how they parented their children. Even people who have seemed to me to be excellent parents seem to be able to find flaws in how they went about it.

    Our kids are in their teens and early twenties. I was watching my three youngest laughing and walk along together when we were all out at the mall the other day and was struck again by the fact that they are not babies anymore. The thought just pops up every now and then. I have the feeling I will still be thinking that years from now. I guess I’m trying to say get used to it, the sensation doesn’t seem to go away.

  16. TC,

    i don’t know you or your family, but here’s wishing you a Happy Birthday!

    Wishing you joy in your childhood and a deepening bod with your family.

    Blessings and peace,

    Adele Sakler

  17. Joonmo says:

    Pastor Eu,

    She is beautiful.

  18. g. says:

    happy bday tc!!!
    love, uncle george…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

stuff, connect, info

One Day’s Wages

My Instagram

To support both the equality of women and the dignity of the unborn feels like a very lonely place to be but I know we're not alone. May we press on. And may we lead with hope.

I'm at the Women's March in Seattle to show my solidarity with my wife, my mothers, my daughters, and the female congregants of my church. I'm also here to model for my son what we believe in our home. Many people have already expressed their disappointment, dismay, and disgust with my decision. Such is life. We will always disappoint someone. And that's also a lot of words that begin with "d." I'm here not because I agree or disagree with every single statement or sign at this march (although I really liked this one) but because as a Christian, I believe in the fundamental truth that women are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. They are to be valued, heard, and respected.

And because I believe we can't be a flourishing society without the flourishing of women. And because the Church cannot be the Church without the gifts and voices of women. All the gifts of women.

And in doing so, may we together honor the sanctity of life - from womb to tomb. Collaboration.

col·lab·o·ra·tion
kəˌlabəˈrāSH(ə)n/
noun

the action of working with someone or a group of others  to produce or create something.

May we hold our logos, egos, and tribalism have their place. May we hold them loosely for they too shall pass. May we collaborate for the sake of the greater Kingdom of God ... which endures forever. As we honor Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., don't forget the God behind the man. The one true God who deposited this dream into MLK is still speaking to us today. Are we listening?

Be courageous. Be brave.

Being invited by the King Family to speak at the MLK worship service at Ebenezer Baptist Church in 2016 remains one of the most unexpected honors of my life. On the right is his daughter, Dr. Bernice King and his sister, Dr. Christine King Farris. Walking throughstreet markets in different parts of the world is the best. Soaking in the culture. Listening to the local language and music. Enjoying the amazing cuisine. Meeting new friends. Praying for the Gospel to penetrate. #ChiangRai Blessed be the local, indigenous leaders for it is they who live in the very communities they seek to love. For it is they who understand their context and culture...better than a Westerner ever will. For it is they who will continue to tenaciously pursue a better world with hope, justice and love when visitors like me leave.

Yes, blessed be the local, indigenous leaders. What an honor and privilege to celebrate with the on-the-ground local @thefreedomstory team to celebrate the recent opening of their Education and Resource Center for the local youth in Chiang Rai, Thailanf. This was made possible through a partnership and matching grant by @onedayswages and The Freedom Story.

While it was an honor to be there to cut the cord and say a few words, this is an example of collaboration. Much love to the Freedom Story team including their co-founders Tawee Donchai and @Rachel Goble, to their staff who live in the community, who understand their context and culture, and who tenaciously pursue a better world with hope, justice and love. And of course, much love to the students themselves for they each matter. Finally, to each person that donated to @onedayswages to make this grant possible.

May hundreds and even thousands of youth be impacted, encouraged, and mentored. May they capture a glimpse of God's love for them.

Photo: @benjaminedwards

my tweets

  • Really loved this sign from the women's march from one of our church congregants. Counter cultural. Subversive. L… twitter.com/i/web/status/8… || 4 hours ago
  • To support both the equality of women & the dignity of the unborn can be lonely but we're not alone. Lead with hope: instagram.com/p/BPjMGTOhMjL/ || 5 hours ago
  • To support both the equality of women & the dignity of the unborn feels like a very lonely place to be but we're not alone. May we press on. || 8 hours ago
  • Going to the Women's March in Seattle bc as a Christian, I believe women are fearfully and wonderfully made and are to be heard & respected. || 11 hours ago
  • Christians: May we be guided by the Scriptures that remind us, "Seek first the Kingdom of God" and not, "Seek first the kingdom of America." || 12 hours ago
  • God bless America...so that we may be a blessing to the hurting, poor, vulnerable, immigrants, oppressed, marginalized. God bless America. || 1 day ago

JOIN ME ON FACEBOOK

advertisements

Blog Stats

  • 3,443,661 hits