Eugene Cho

a church review to humble you

A year ago this time, 31 members from the staff of The Stranger – “the alternative paper to Seattle’s alternative paper” – visited 31 churches all around the larger Seattle area and wrote reviews of the 31 churches.  Quest must be special because Dan Savage, the editor of the Stranger and infamous sex advice columnist [Savage Love], visited Quest.

Our review along with the review of other churches were brutal, hilarious, and actually insightful because sometimes, churches have no idea how stale and awkward we can be because we’ve been “inside” for so long.  

Seattle is infamously known as “the least churched city in America.”  The Northwest is supposedly the most least churched region in America.  But it isn’t godless or spiritual.  It’s a beautiful place – full of life, questions, conversations, and such.  What I love the most about living in this city and this region is that you have to earn the right to have your voice in the larger marketplace of thoughts, ideas, and philosophies. 

I thought the Stranger would return this year but no luck.  As a result of the Stranger’s review, it led to numerous intense posts and conversations that might be worth reading for those who are new to the blog in the past year.

Related Links: The Gay Conversation | Listening | Gracious as All Fu*k |  The Gay Dialogue 

Here’s the Stranger’s review of Quest:

The pastor ordered us to hug our neighbors.

“Make them a little uncomfortable,” we were instructed, “by squeezing them a little too hard—that’s okay. It’s part of the getting-to-know-you process.”

With charges of clerical sexual abuse still being leveled at churches great and small, you might think a Christian pastor would err on the side of not encouraging congregants to hug their neighbors past their comfort levels. The getting-to-know-you process? More like the getting-to-sue-you process.

I attended the early service at Quest Church—one of Seattle’s “emerging churches,” a sort of Mars Hill wannabe, if slightly more progressive—on an important day. Quest had been meeting in a warehouse space it rented from Interbay Covenant Church. Six years old, Quest was growing, attracting hundreds to Sunday services, while 65-year-old Interbay was slowly dying, attracting a couple of dozen at best. So in April, Interbay voted itself out of existence and handed all of its property—its homely sanctuary (picture the Brady Bunch’s living room pressed into service as a church), the converted warehouse, a parking lot—over to the upstart. Sunday’s 10:00 a.m. service was the first for the “merged” church, hence the getting-to-know-you hugs.

There was some insipid singing, led by an insipid worship band, and then a sermon preached by what I took to be Interbay’s soon-to-be unemployed pastor. It focused on a selection from Luke: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even life itself—such a person cannot be my disciple.” That verse was a favorite of David Koresh and Jim Jones; isolating someone from his or her family is what cult leaders typically do. But we were encouraged not to read that verse with “a cold, unimaginative realism,” because “Jesus uses hyperbole.” Good to know.

Then Quest Church’s pastor, Eugene Cho, tore a loaf of bread in half, we took Communion, and then we prayed.

A word about the praying: When I was dragged off to church by my parents, we folded our hands together to pray and assumed a posture of humility. In today’s emerging churches, you lift both hands up toward heaven, arms out, in what looks like a sort of double-armed fascist salute. It’s a posture that screams, “Look at me, God! I’m praying! To you!” The more enthusiastic worshippers looked like toddlers reaching up for Daddy, anxious to be picked up and hugged past their comfort levels.

Oh, and Communion? I lined up and tried to take it. But I dropped my piece of wine-soaked bread on the floor. It was an accident. Or a miracle. [DAN SAVAGE]

Filed under: religion

21 Responses

  1. emjay says:

    As they say, some people just don’t get it.

    I don’t think it’s judgmental to wonder what sort of attitude a person brings with him to the worship service if his review is as mean-spirited as that. Does he come in the door so confident that Christianity is a bunch of nonsense that he’s simply incapable of seeing it as anything else?

  2. John says:

    What a fascinating review. I would give my left arm (but not my right) to be privy to such an honest, if not antagonistic, perspective on my church. You’re right, Eugene: we need to have that outsider’s view challenge our insider mindset often enough to keep us connected and honest with our community at large.

    re: emjay — the author’s assignment was to lampoon the church. Had he not done that, he would have not done his job and not earned his paycheck. I wonder, though, since he was still able to quote the Luke passage, how the word of God is working in him even now…

  3. jason says:

    I thought reviews were supposed to at LEAST ATTEMPT to be subjective? I would have been humbled if not for the agenda[whatever it may be] that lay just below the surface. Even if we all have some sort of agenda to some certain extents, as a writer this bothers me as its not so much a review as it is a person attempting a review but itching to write a slam piece. I have read better stuff in comment sections of blogs than that review, and said comment sections were highly critical of Christianity. Call me old fashioned at 31 but I like to see more class in writing, but it seems that any with a remedial grasp of English Composition, foul mouth, perverted mind, and a ultra-liberal or conservative agenda can get a writing gig and be deemed successful.

  4. “What a fascinating review. I would give my left arm (but not my right) to be privy to such an honest, if not antagonistic, perspective on my church”

    I am not sure how you define honest, but the above review seems anything but. The author could likely have constructed such a review from his own stereotypes of Christians without having ever set foot inside your church. To top it off, it wasn’t even a respectable attempt at humor. Trust me, I am no fan of the emergent church movement and have seen quite a few funny parodies of the emergent church- sadly, this wasn’t one of them. Just another example of reflexive anti-Christian animosity.

  5. Kacie says:

    I applaud you, Eugene, for being able to quote a scathing review of your own church! I think understanding the outsiders’ perspective is really healthy. I took a friend of mine to my church a few weeks ago and was surprised to realize how offensive she found my non-conservative, sort-of-emerging church. I need to understand and learn to be ok with the fact that probably the majority of our society would NOT feel comfortable in my church. If I’m not ok with that, I’ll start to cater to people who simply disagree with my entire worldview, beliefs, and presuppositions.

    On the flip side of that coin, it’s important to learn what makes people uncomfortable and analyze whether or not it is actually crucial to our faith and community. If it’s not, would are we doing our guests a disservice to continue on in those practices?

  6. Sue says:

    You guys must not read The Stranger or Dan Savage regularly?

    The fact that Dan stepped foot into Quest is amazing in itself.

  7. Tyler says:

    i dont see how this was helpful for the writer, the newspaper, or your church.

  8. eugenecho says:

    There were some folks at Quest that were VERY upset for the reasons that you mentioned. I doubt this was hardly helpful for The Stranger and its readers since on the most part, they’re widely known to hate all things religious.

    But, it’s helpful because it throws a wrench into our self-perception of whatever we think of ourselves. We had numerous visitors from the Stranger community and that was good for our church and forced conversations – particularly the conversation on homosexuality and the church. One of the posts here generated 300 comments and numerous face to face chats as well.

    Our review, in my opinion, wasn’t particularly insightful per se but others, I thought, were insightful and worth reading.

    Having said that, I think anything the Church gets obsessed with PLEASING EVERYONE is the time the Church will fall into demise. I think it’s important and good to be in friendly relationships but never to the point that we actually forget that the Gospel, in itself, can be a stumbling block to many.

  9. Matt says:

    wow. it’s been about a year since i’ve been reading your blog. =) Found your blog with all the korean hostage updates, and this was the first non-hostage posts that i remember reading.

    But yeah, I would value that type of a-bit-annoying-but-their-honest-perception of not only church but all of christianity from outsiders. While church isn’t meant to only cater to their views, I think church more often than not becomes about pleasing its congregants rather than finding ways to be welcoming to outsiders. Always that tension…

  10. lauren ebright says:

    I agree Eugene, that we should remember to be objective to ourselves as Christians. However, that review was sad and weakly held together by strands of excuse. A person that internally hostile will skew anything to prove their point. Why even mention the worship? The singing? Who cares if it’s insipid? That proves nothing! Sometimes I don’t like the song list on sundays! It certainly doesn’t disprove God. As for the passage Mr. Savage chose to high light, it seems to me an atheist (or agnostic) will take everything for face value, refusing to go any deeper, for fear it may actually challenge their way of life.

  11. Capt Ralph says:

    Hey – to put things into perspective…..you HAVE to read ALL 31. Yes, it is the Savage Stranger. We do not answer to him but I respect that he was there…… Very meaningful to me, in the broad scheme of things, that Quest was singled out.

  12. don says:

    I would love to listen to the sermon from Luke by Eugene that the reveiwer alluded to. The one about hating father and mother, etc.. to be a disciple of Jesus. If that text is good enough for Jim Jones and David Koresh and, oh my, Eugene Cho, I want to know more. Where can I find the sermon?

  13. lauren ebright says:

    I will read all 31. until then I’d like to know why exactly Capt Ralph, you respect Savage for being there? It doesn’t take a lot of guts to sit through something you’ve already made up your mind about.

  14. Capt Ralph says:

    I am easily mis-understood. I did not mean to respect Savage………….I respect that he was there “in the broad scheme of things” …………….. I believe he was sent. Sorry to be so difficult/obtuse????

  15. eugenecho says:

    @don: fwiw, i wasn’t preaching that sunday. and i believe the sermon isn’t available online anymore.

    generally, this is old news so i wasn’t expecting this to be a big deal. years ago, i was so obsessed with wanting to be “liked” by everyone. i’m more comfortable with the idea of being in friendly relationships with peopel but knowing that there are going to be people that are simply against Jesus and against the message of the Cross and the work of the Church.

    i think it’s pretty clear that the folks at the stranger had an agenda. and if we’re all honest, we all do. but i found it encouraging in part also because while people may not want to admit it, there are many who are looking/examining the church. some with open heart and some with non. regardless, we are being watched.

  16. lauren ebright says:

    I agree whole-heartedly with pastor eugene and with you capt ralph! thanks for clearing it up!

  17. Jennifer says:

    Lauren and Ralph…Savage doesnt write in a genre that I generally read, but even from this article, you have to admit, the guy has a way with words – and as I understand it, a pretty big following as well. He might not be my cuppa’ but I think he deserves respect as a human being and as a writer.

  18. this madness with dan savage is what got me hooked on your blog… i’m glad it happened! you were always a gracious presence in these crazy conversations

  19. Aaron says:

    I think church should be uncomfortable. I am sure there is a balance there… especially for first time visitors… but a comfortable church seems paradoxical… the message of Christ is not always comfortable!

    To take part in worship and prayer and a message of the Bible and communion probably should be uncomfortable for someone not familiar with the Church. I think it is up to the Church to welcome and embrace people in this situation, but its going to be a little wierd/akward to them… I think thats OK.

  20. James says:

    This post was referenced on the Stranger Slog today FWIW. I hope they’re kinder to you than they were last year.

    http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/06/the_only_thing_worse_than_being_talked_a

  21. pk says:

    Sorry guys, but this insider (a pastor’s kid so I’m sure my thoughts will be dismissed as stereotypically jaded) has the same thoughts as Savage & his cohorts about Quest, Mars Hill … all of them.

    Other churches in that article touched their atheist reviewers simply by being unassuming, interested in learning about Christ, warmly welcoming their visitor.

    What makes people uncomfortable is OMG-LOOK-HOW-MUCH-I-HEART-JESUS worship. Being checked out by the opposite sex and shunned by the same sex. Having to enter into a conversation about their sexuality every time they decide to learn something about Jesus. Having to slog through the hip! new! terms! for bible study, small groups, look-at-us-divide-each-other-into-marrieds-and-singles-without-saying-we-are-doing-so activities.

    I’ll take my parents’ church any day where kind, elderly eyes welcome me, where people who have lived hard during their time away are hugged, loved and supported when they return, where I am seen as an auntie and not as a threat to some unrequited crush, where my non-Christian boyfriend is loved for his kindness and love for me and not hit over the head with a bible. It is actions such as these that win over hearts injured by The Church, hearts of reviewers who *were* moved in the Month of Sundays article.

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One Day’s Wages

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As I soaked in this breathtaking sunrise this morning above the clouds, I felt compelled to pray for so my places in America and around the world that are experiencing such pain, heartache, injustice, and violence. At times, it feels so overwhelming but in prayer, I was reminded of these words from John 16:33. As we keep striving, working, hoping, preaching, loving, truthtelling, reconciling, repenting, forgiving, dismantling, peacemaking, Kingdom building...may we fix our eyes on Christ: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33 Grateful for a very full weekend of ministry and preaching in Toronto, Canada (GTA). Such a privilege to partner with @worldvisioncan @wvcollective to advocate for the most vulnerable around the world. God is so gracious. A true honor to meet and encourage local pastors, lecture at Tyndale University & Seminary (photo), and preach at Richmond Hills Community Church, Compass Point Bible Church, and New City Church. Thank you, Lord, that you use broken and imperfect people like me to speak of Your love. Today, Minhee and I dropped off our eldest child at her college. We have been thinking and praying about this day for many years. On some days, we hoped it would never come. On other days, we couldn't wait for it to come. On some days, we prayed for time to stop and other days, we prayed with anticipation. 
After an entire summer of laughing it off, it hit us...hard...this week. Seeing all of her stuff laid out on the basement floor was the catalyst to a load of emotions.

After unloading the car and taking her stuff to her new home for this year and mindful that she might never live with us again; helping sort out her stuff, saying hello to her roommates...I wasn't sure what to do or say.

A flood of thoughts rushed my mind.

Is she ready?
Have we done enough?
Have we taught her enough? 
What if this? What if that?

And so we shared what we have shared with her the moment she began to understand words: "Remember who you are. Remember WHO you belong to. Remember what you're about. God loves you so much. Please hold God's Word and His promises close and dear to your heart. We love you so much and we are so proud of you." And with that, we said goodbye. Even if she may not be thousands of miles away, this is a new chapter for her and even for us. I kept it composed. Her roommate was staring at me. I didn't want to be that father. I have street cred to uphold. Another final hug. 
And I came home.
And I wept.
Forget my street cred.
I miss her. I love her.
She will always be my little baby.

I'm no parenting guru. I just laughed as I wrote that line. No, I'm stumbling and bumbling along but I'd love to share an ephiphany I learned not that long ago. Coming to this realization was incredibly painful but simultaneously, liberating. To be honest, it was the ultimate game-changer in my understanding as a parent seeking after the heart of God.

While there are many methods, tools, philosophies, and biblical principles to parenting, there is – in my opinion – only one purpose or destination.

Our purpose as parents is to eventually…release them. Send forth. For His glory. Met a friend and fellow pastor who I haven't seen in over 20 years. In him, I saw a glimpse of my future. While only 10 years older, his kids are married and he's now a grandfather of 3. His love for his wife and family were so evident and his passion for the Gospel has not wavered. It was so good to see someone a bit older still passionately serving the Lord with such joy and faithfulness. Lord, help me to keep running the race for your Glory. Happy wife.
Happy life. - Eugenius 3:16

I still remember that time, many years ago, when Minhee was pregnant with our first child. She had left her family and friends in Korea just two years before. Her morning sickness was horrible and when she finally had an appetite, she craved her favorite Korean food from certain restaurants in her neighborhood in Seoul, Korea. I had no way of getting that food from those restaurants so I actually said, "How about a Whopper? Big Mac?" Sorry honey. Eat away. You deserve it. I don't care if it sounds mushy but sunsets are one of my love languages. Seoul, Korea was amazing but WOW...what a breathtaking welcome back sunset by Seattle. Not ready to let go of summer.

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