Eugene Cho

The soul of Curtis Martin: violence, abuse, poverty, family, faith, forgiveness, and football.

I mean no disrespect to Jeremy Lin or Tim Tebow. They seem like great guys that I’d love to meet some day. (Please text me back, guys!)  They have amazing and encouraging stories that should be shared – as men, athletes,  and fellow followers of Christ. But, let me just be honest for a second and say that sometimes, it feels like Linsanity and Tebowmania is too much. It feels gluttonous.

As they still dominate the “sports news” and in the midst of an epic Olympic competition in London with riveting drama and stories in themselves, I wanted to absolutely make sure that my readers, friends, and stalkers take just 10-15 minutes to sit in the story of Curtis Martin. I want to invite you to sit in his story, his courage, his faith in God, his devotion to his mother, wife, and children, his perspective of his career, etc.

This has been one of the most powerful things I’ve read this past year.

If you’re not a hardcore football or sports fan, you will naturally ask:

Who is Curtis Martin?

But if you’re a sports fan, you know. Curtis Martin – on the gridiron football field – was the man. I knew him well

as I often maneuvered to draft him in my Fantasy Football league when I had the time to “play” fantasy sports. He was a former NFL running back that played for the New England Patriots and the New York Jets. His accolades and accomplishments on the field are too many to list but I’ll list a few of them: Over his10 year career, he was a five time Pro Bowl player, scored 100 touchdowns, and rushed for 14,101 yards (4th most in NFL history).  He amassed 17,421 combined net yards (10th all time).

In short, he was a stud and it’s clear why he was inducted into the 2012 class of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. In his acceptance speech – without any notes or prepared manuscripts – Martin proceeded to “bare my soul.”

Wow.

I wept. I cried. I prayed. I wept. I was moved. I was convicted. I praised God. I was compelled to examine my own life.

There’s so many things that moved me in his speech including the utter pain and devastation of domestic violence. It is inexcusable, foul, cruel, and other words I shouldn’t publicly write. Yet, there’s a story of profound redemption. I obviously don’t know Curtis or his mother or any of his family members but as I watched his speech,  I thanked God for this man, for his mother, and for so many who live with such courage and hope – in the midst of such imperfect, fallen, and broken messes.

There are four  things in particular that moved me but I’d encourage you to read the full text of his speech:

Pain and Courage of a Mother

His mother (Rochella Martin) endured some incredibly painful things but as you listen to his story, you learn of his mother’s devotion and commitment.

When I was 5 years old, I remember watching him torture my mother, I mean, literally. I don’t necessarily have notes, so I’m going to bare my soul and just bear with me.

He had my mother locked in the bathroom. Had her sitting on the edge of the tub, and he turned on all the hot water and stopped the tub up so that the hot water would eventually flow on her legs. He dared her to move. As the hot water flowed up and started going on her legs and going on her feet and she would flinch a little bit, he would rush into the bathroom, take her hair and burn it with a lighter. He would come back out, watch her some more, she’d move again, and he would go in there with a cigarette and put cigarette burns all over her legs which she still bears to this day. I’ve seen him beat her up like she was a man. I’ve seen him throw her down the steps.

His childhood:

My mother, because we couldn’t afford it, she would work two and three jobs.  She tied a shoe string around my neck with a key and taught me how to come in the house.  I’d come from kindergarten and first grade almost for two years and stay in the house by myself till like 9:30, 10:00 at night, and my mother said it broke her heart every single day walking up those steps.  We lived in sort of a low income housing project type environment, and I would always be sitting in that front window because I was scared.

His greatest achievement: Forgiveness & Reconciliation.

In 1998, on Father’s Day, Martin and his mother Rochella began a long reconciliation process with his father, Curtis Sr., by renting a new, furnished condominium for his father, who had left the family due to his addictions to cocaine and alcohol.[2] In 1990, Curtis Sr. checked into a veteran’s hospital for two weeks followed by a six month stay at a rehabilitation center and was able to remain sober through his death, due to cancer, in June 2009 at age 58. The family made peace with each other in the final weeks of the elder Martin’s life. [wikipedia]

But I tell you my greatest achievement in my life was helping my mother and nurturing my mother from the bitter, angry, beaten, hurt person that she was, nurturing her to be a healthy to have a healthy mind-set, and to forgive my father for everything that he did to her. That’s my greatest accomplishment.

By the time he died, she was cooking him food every day and taking it to him. And she is so happy right now, and I’m so grateful for her.

Remember this wisdom:

But out of all the things that I’ve achieved, it’s not necessarily what you achieve in life that matters most, but it’s who you become in the process of those achievements that really matters.

Stand up, God

Amen.

If I could, I really wish that I could ask God to stand up right now, because I tell you this, I’m not living, I’m not breathing, my life is nothing without God.  And I’m probably one of the most humbled.  I’m so grateful and so appreciative for what God has done in my life.

A Life Defined by How we Lived our Life

At my eulogy, I don’t want my daughter or whoever it may be giving my eulogy to talk about how many yards I gained or touchdowns I scored. I want my daughter to be able to talk about the man that Curtis Martin was. How when she was growing up, she looked for a man who was like her father. That he was a man of integrity, a man of strong character, and a God fearing man. That’s what I want.

Then at the end of the day, she could say, oh yeah, and he was a pretty good football player.

Wow.

Here’s his acceptance speech video.

If you’re pressed for time, start at 5:40 –

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13 Responses

  1. Oliver Jen says:

    So overflowing with grace!

  2. Helen Lee says:

    Curtis Martin was a mainstay of my fantasy football rosters, too. Thanks so much for posting this. Loved this quote: “But out of all the things that I’ve achieved, it’s not necessarily what you achieve in life that matters most, but it’s who you become in the process of those achievements that really matters.”

  3. Thank you for sharing this amazing story and its heartfelt message. Jesus teaches us to love the people that hate us the most and to forgive. I hope to gain this ability in my own trials in life. I identify heavily with this and I truly needed to read this story on this particular night. Thank you Eugene.

  4. Paul says:

    I heard some audio clips of his speech. The authenticity of his words rang truer in my heart than many sermons I’ve heard. Good post.

  5. Has his story been published in a book? John Van Diest, Associate Publisher Tyndale

  6. Martha Alva says:

    Hola….Tengo el placer de verlo en tres ocasiones..y se de lo gran y maravilloso de ser humano que es..un hombre integro..lleno de respeto para todos..y un gran Sr…Felicidades por el reportaje..y por compartir..sus vivencias Sr Curtis…que mi Dios los bendiga por siempre..muaa.

  7. […] Next up are two stories about people who seemingly had every right to live and act in anger. Instead, they chose a different path: forgiveness. Jeanne Bishop’s piece on the CNN Religion site traces her change of heart from retribution to forgiveness. Eugene Cho profiles Curtis Martin in “The soul of Curtis Martin: violence, abuse, poverty, family, faith, forgiveness, and football… […]

  8. Chabonik Sweet says:

    Curtis Martin is an amazing man. This speech was past spectacular…so grateful for his life and service.

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stuff, connect, info

One Day’s Wages

My Instagram

Back safely from Iraq, Lebanon, and Jordan. Thanks for your prayers. 
I have numerous stories to share but for now, the following came up in every conversation with Iraqi/Syrian refugees:

1 Have tea with us. Or coffee. Or juice. Or something with lots of sugar in it. Or better yet, all of the above.
2 We want peace. We want security. 
3 We hate ISIS. 
4 We just want to go home.
5 Please don't forget us.

Please don't forget them... Father, please bless and protect these Iraqi and Syrian "refugee" children that have already endured so much. Protect their hearts and mind from unfathomable trauma. Plant seeds of hope and vision in their lives. And as we pray for them, teach us how to advocate for them. Amen. "We don't call them refugees. We call them relatives. We don't call them camps but centers. Dignity is so important." -  local Iraqi priest whose church has welcomed many "relatives" to their church's property

It's always a privilege to be invited into peoples' home for tea - even if it's a temporary tent. This is an extended Yezidi family that fled the Mosul, Iraq area because of ISIS. It's indeed true that Christians were targeted by ISIS and thatbstory muat be shared but other minority groups like the Yezidis were also targeted. Some of their heartbreaking stories included the kidnapping of their sister. They shared that their father passed away shortly of a "broken heart." The conversation was emotional but afterwards, we asked each other for permission to take photos. Once the selfies came out, the real smiles came out.

So friends: Pray for Iraq. Pray for the persecuted Church. Pray for Christians, minority groups like the Yezidis who fear they will e completely wiped out in the Middle East,, and Muslims alike who are all suffering under ISIS. Friends: I'm traveling in the Middle East this week - Iraq, Lebanon, and Jordan. (Make sure you follow my pics/stories on IG stories). Specifically, I'm here representing @onedayswages to meet, learn, and listen to pastors, local leaders, NGOs, and of course directly from refugees from within these countries - including many from Syria.

For security purposes, I haven't been able to share at all but I'm now able to start sharing some photos and stories. For now, I'll be sharing numerous photos through my IG stories and will be sharing some longer written pieces in couple months when ODW launches another wave of partnerships to come alongside refugees in these areas. Four of us are traveling together also for the purpose of creating a short documentary that we hope to release early next year.

While I'm on my church sabbatical, it's truly a privilege to be able to come to these countries and to meet local pastors and indigenous leaders that tirelessly pursue peace and justice, and to hear directly from refugees. I've read so many various articles and pieces over the years and I thought I was prepared but it has been jarring, heartbreaking,  and gut wrenching. In the midst of such chaos, there's hope but there's also a lot of questions, too.

I hope you follow along as I share photos, stories, and help release this mini-documentary. Please tag friends that might be interested.

Please pray for safety, for empathy, for humility and integrity, for divine meetings. Pray that we listen well; To be present and not just be a consumer of these vulnerable stories. That's my biggest prayer.

Special thanks to @worldvisionusa and @worldrelief for hosting us on this journey. 9/11
Never forget.
And never stop working for peace.

Today, I had some gut wrenching and heart breaking conversations about war, violence, and peacemaking. Mostly, I listened. Never in my wildest imagination did I envision having these conversations on 9/11 of all days. I wish I could share more now but I hope to later after I process them for a few days.

But indeed: Never forget.
And never stop working for peace.
May it be so. Amen. Mount Rainier is simply epic. There's nothing like flying in and out of Seattle.

#mountrainier
#seattle
#northwestisbest

my tweets

  • Every convo with Iraqi/Syrian refugees included: 1 Have tea with us 2 We want peace 3 We hate ISIS 4 We want to go home 5 Don't forget us || 2 days ago
  • Back safely from Iraq, Lebanon, Jordan to assess @OneDaysWages' partnerships & to film mini-documentary on refugee crisis. So many emotions. || 2 days ago
  • Pray for Mexico. For those mourning loved ones. For those fighting for life - even under rubbles. For rescue workers. Lord, in your mercy. || 2 days ago
  • Don't underestimate what God can do through you. God has a very long history of using foolish and broken people for His purposes and glory. || 5 days ago
  • Father, bless these Iraqi and Syrian refugee children that have already endured so much. As we pray, teach us how t… twitter.com/i/web/status/9… || 6 days ago
  • Pray for Iraq. Pray for persecuted Church, minority groups (Yezidis) and Muslims alike who are suffering under ISIS: instagram.com/p/BZF2j6Ngrna/ || 6 days ago