Eugene Cho

i messed up today…

It’s 12:36am right now.

I’m doing a little work and getting ready to hit the sack but also taking some time to reflect on the past day. It wasn’t one of my better days…

Today, I messed up.

As much as I don’t want to admit it, I sucked as a father today.

In short,

I wasn’t present. I wasn’t fully here.

Today, I messed up.

I had a tough day and I brought it all home but  the kids showed me immense grace today. They listened to my excuses and embraced me.

Tomorrow, I’ll wake up and it’ll be a new day and another opportunity to live in God’s grace, hope, and love.

How about you? How was [is] your day?

I’m going to sleep, wake up, and live into this:

Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-23

Filed under: family

10 Responses

  1. Dear Eugene,
    My dad sucked as a father for the entirety of my childhood, and he didn’t ever acknowledge it. He’s spent the past 15 years trying to make up for it. You are lightyears ahead of where he was when I was a kid if you can admit it and accept their grace. and what great children you’ve raised that they extend it.

    My day has been hard. I am trying to continue to see God in where I’m at in life, but it’s not easy. I am clinging to him and unable to see him. When I get on the other side of this mountain, it’s gonna be awesome.

  2. Mike Worley says:

    Sometimes God’s grace is scene in the most unexpected areas in life….Oh how humbling it is to taste the Grace of the cross from those you are leading, especially one’s own kids.
    My dad was also a pastor growing up and unlike most PK’s I saw my Dad live a transparant life to his flock AND his family. Keep pressing Eugene for I vividly remember how my dad reacted in all those situations, as he lived out the Gospel….It’s those images that helped me grow up into Christ…..Keep pressing…..

  3. Jesse schroeder says:

    thanks so much for sharing this. This past week I had two really bad days and I hurt my family a lot. The recovery process is hard but it helps to know that other people struggle at times too. Thanks for your honesty and the verse. Its a good one I often forget.
    Blessings.

  4. Ann FR says:

    Thank you, Eugene, for reminding us that the journey is undertaken through the humility of love, confession, forgiveness and grace. What a gift your children have given you in letting go & giving grace & what a gift you’ve given your children in confessing & honoring the Lord!

    I recall my last conversation w/ my father before he died. The Holy Spirit enabled me to say to him, “Dad, I’ve been blessed to have you as my father.” He wept. He was a harsh father, a poor grandfather, and an awful husband. But, when I said those words, the grace of God poured through me in a flood, and I knew the message in every fiber of my being that God’s love is so powerful and victorious that God will indeed bless us through very imperfect people. If we’re waiting to be blessed only through perfect people, well…it’s just not going to happen. Confessing, giving grace and letting go of the messed-up-ness of ourselves & each other are integral to picking up our crosses & following Jesus each day. You’re a pastor of the Good Shepherd!

  5. Jin says:

    I had one of the worst days since coming to Seattle…. but i have such a wonderful wife that listens, understands, and reminds me of God’s grace in our life, and His plans for us. I woke up this morning a new person in so many ways, Man, that verse in Lamentations is so so so true. Thanks for sharing that.

  6. your friend says:

    We had severe flooding in this part of the world and through your sharing I was reminded to give grace to myself 🙂 because I am usually hard on myself.

    I was tired and all spent because I carried five thousand litres of muddy water to the street (to prevent more flooding)

    And then I made a hate-speech: I hate this weather! I hate my back pain… You know that type of speech.

    It did not make me feel better, of course. Only God’s grace that I took in, after reading your blog.

    Thank you.

  7. Marty says:

    Fellowship is wonderful and God’s grace abundant. In reading the above responses, you are in God’s fellowship, the good the bad and sometimes ugly… God uses it all, sometimes to my own embarasement(pride)AND our children need to see what a heart felt appology looks like and what it’s like to minister… don’t you think?

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One Day’s Wages

My Instagram

Morning walk with the queen. In pursuit of 10,001 steps. #SelfCare #TryingToGetFit #CantFitInMyClothes F A M I L Y. So grateful to be creating memories.

Confession time: I sucked in my belly like it's the end of the world because of the full solar eclipse and then stopped breathing until this photo was taken. Which is probably why my wife looks like she's punching me on the side. But...mission accomplished. #OldManTricks These are crazy, turbulent times. Fight the good fight. Run the race set before us.

But we also need you for the long haul. Don't burn out. Discipleship and justice work is a marathon. Learn to take care of yourself. Don't play the victim. It's far too tempting to blame others. Be rooted in prayer, Scripture, and community. It's okay to pause, critical to rest and retreat, and godly to practice Sabbath.

#NoteToSelf Everyone loves the idea of  reconciliation...until it involves truthtelling, confessing, repenting, dismantling, forgiving, and peacemaking. Charlottesville. So heartbreaking and infuriating. We weep and mourn over the hatred in the hearts of these white nationalists. We weep and mourn but we can't be defeated.

As I stare at this photo that's making its round on the internet, I'm reminded of the utter importance of showing up. I'm grateful for the news media, law enforcement, clergy, and peaceful protesters that are currently there to report, protect, pray, and protest.

And this is an invitation to us. May we not be mere bystanders. May we keep pressing forward. Seek justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly. Commit to truth-telling, justice, reconciliation, peacemaking. Follow the ways of Christ. Every day. And it's important to note that we don't have to go to Charlottesville to do this. In fact, it's more important that we do this exactly where we're at. May we live out the call to reconciliation in our churches, workplaces, neighborhoods, schools, and around our dining tables. Lord, may it be so... We don't have to go to Charlottesville to do this. We have to do this wherever were called to be.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” ~ Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. /// Thanks to those who let me know that the photo wasn't actually from today but rather from last month in Charlottesville. - https://www.facebook.com/FrankSomervilleKTVU/posts/1551137301616258:0 Grateful for a spontaneous, last minute trip with Minhee to my old stomping grounds - San Francisco. 48 hours of visiting this special city that I called home for so many years.

Pic 1: Went to the Cliff House restaurant where we got engaged about 21 years ago to make out. Oops, sorry, I meant...to reflect on God's faithfulness over these many years.

Pic 2: Walked across the Golden Gate Bridge because it's such an iconic place - with some of the most incredible views.

Pic 3: Enjoyed a glass of some Cabernet Sauvignon and pretended to be wine connoisseurs at a vineyard.

Pic 4: Had lunch at my favorite Chinese restaurant, Sam Tung, which boasts some of the best chicken in the country. And of course, we ate at In-n-out.

Pic 5: And finally, celebrated with the good folks at @thefreedomstory where @onedayswages received their annual Freedom Award. What an honor.

Grateful. Thankful for this sabbatical.

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