Eugene Cho

i messed up today…

It’s 12:36am right now.

I’m doing a little work and getting ready to hit the sack but also taking some time to reflect on the past day. It wasn’t one of my better days…

Today, I messed up.

As much as I don’t want to admit it, I sucked as a father today.

In short,

I wasn’t present. I wasn’t fully here.

Today, I messed up.

I had a tough day and I brought it all home but  the kids showed me immense grace today. They listened to my excuses and embraced me.

Tomorrow, I’ll wake up and it’ll be a new day and another opportunity to live in God’s grace, hope, and love.

How about you? How was [is] your day?

I’m going to sleep, wake up, and live into this:

Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-23

Filed under: family

10 Responses

  1. Dear Eugene,
    My dad sucked as a father for the entirety of my childhood, and he didn’t ever acknowledge it. He’s spent the past 15 years trying to make up for it. You are lightyears ahead of where he was when I was a kid if you can admit it and accept their grace. and what great children you’ve raised that they extend it.

    My day has been hard. I am trying to continue to see God in where I’m at in life, but it’s not easy. I am clinging to him and unable to see him. When I get on the other side of this mountain, it’s gonna be awesome.

  2. Mike Worley says:

    Sometimes God’s grace is scene in the most unexpected areas in life….Oh how humbling it is to taste the Grace of the cross from those you are leading, especially one’s own kids.
    My dad was also a pastor growing up and unlike most PK’s I saw my Dad live a transparant life to his flock AND his family. Keep pressing Eugene for I vividly remember how my dad reacted in all those situations, as he lived out the Gospel….It’s those images that helped me grow up into Christ…..Keep pressing…..

  3. Jesse schroeder says:

    thanks so much for sharing this. This past week I had two really bad days and I hurt my family a lot. The recovery process is hard but it helps to know that other people struggle at times too. Thanks for your honesty and the verse. Its a good one I often forget.
    Blessings.

  4. Ann FR says:

    Thank you, Eugene, for reminding us that the journey is undertaken through the humility of love, confession, forgiveness and grace. What a gift your children have given you in letting go & giving grace & what a gift you’ve given your children in confessing & honoring the Lord!

    I recall my last conversation w/ my father before he died. The Holy Spirit enabled me to say to him, “Dad, I’ve been blessed to have you as my father.” He wept. He was a harsh father, a poor grandfather, and an awful husband. But, when I said those words, the grace of God poured through me in a flood, and I knew the message in every fiber of my being that God’s love is so powerful and victorious that God will indeed bless us through very imperfect people. If we’re waiting to be blessed only through perfect people, well…it’s just not going to happen. Confessing, giving grace and letting go of the messed-up-ness of ourselves & each other are integral to picking up our crosses & following Jesus each day. You’re a pastor of the Good Shepherd!

  5. Jin says:

    I had one of the worst days since coming to Seattle…. but i have such a wonderful wife that listens, understands, and reminds me of God’s grace in our life, and His plans for us. I woke up this morning a new person in so many ways, Man, that verse in Lamentations is so so so true. Thanks for sharing that.

  6. your friend says:

    We had severe flooding in this part of the world and through your sharing I was reminded to give grace to myself 🙂 because I am usually hard on myself.

    I was tired and all spent because I carried five thousand litres of muddy water to the street (to prevent more flooding)

    And then I made a hate-speech: I hate this weather! I hate my back pain… You know that type of speech.

    It did not make me feel better, of course. Only God’s grace that I took in, after reading your blog.

    Thank you.

  7. Marty says:

    Fellowship is wonderful and God’s grace abundant. In reading the above responses, you are in God’s fellowship, the good the bad and sometimes ugly… God uses it all, sometimes to my own embarasement(pride)AND our children need to see what a heart felt appology looks like and what it’s like to minister… don’t you think?

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One Day’s Wages

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Collaboration.

col·lab·o·ra·tion
kəˌlabəˈrāSH(ə)n/
noun

the action of working with someone or a group of others  to produce or create something.

May we hold our logos, egos, and tribalism have their place. May we hold them loosely for they too shall pass. May we collaborate for the sake of the greater Kingdom of God ... which endures forever. As we honor Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., don't forget the God behind the man. The one true God who deposited this dream into MLK is still speaking to us today. Are we listening?

Be courageous. Be brave.

Being invited by the King Family to speak at the MLK worship service at Ebenezer Baptist Church in 2016 remains one of the most unexpected honors of my life. On the right is his daughter, Dr. Bernice King and his sister, Dr. Christine King Farris. Walking throughstreet markets in different parts of the world is the best. Soaking in the culture. Listening to the local language and music. Enjoying the amazing cuisine. Meeting new friends. Praying for the Gospel to penetrate. #ChiangRai Blessed be the local, indigenous leaders for it is they who live in the very communities they seek to love. For it is they who understand their context and culture...better than a Westerner ever will. For it is they who will continue to tenaciously pursue a better world with hope, justice and love when visitors like me leave.

Yes, blessed be the local, indigenous leaders. What an honor and privilege to celebrate with the on-the-ground local @thefreedomstory team to celebrate the recent opening of their Education and Resource Center for the local youth in Chiang Rai, Thailanf. This was made possible through a partnership and matching grant by @onedayswages and The Freedom Story.

While it was an honor to be there to cut the cord and say a few words, this is an example of collaboration. Much love to the Freedom Story team including their co-founders Tawee Donchai and @Rachel Goble, to their staff who live in the community, who understand their context and culture, and who tenaciously pursue a better world with hope, justice and love. And of course, much love to the students themselves for they each matter. Finally, to each person that donated to @onedayswages to make this grant possible.

May hundreds and even thousands of youth be impacted, encouraged, and mentored. May they capture a glimpse of God's love for them.

Photo: @benjaminedwards Part 2 on my wrestling with the complex issue of human trafficking. In part, documenting my trip to Thailand for @onedayswages...to listen, learn, and visit one of our partner orgs @thefreedomstory. More to come.

There's such painful and poignant irony in pursuing justice...unjustly. One way we do this is when we reduce people into projects...and thus, propagating the dangerous power dynamic of US as heroes and THEM as helpless and exclusively as victims. So dangerous.

Human trafficking is not just an issue. It’s ultimately, about people. Depending on the sources of statistics, there are anywhere from 29-40 million people in some form of forced labor and slavery, including sex trafficking.

And one thing I’ve learned, personally, is how easy it is easy to reduce people into projects which is why mutuality, reciprocity, and dignity are so vital. These are critical because God never intended people to be reduced into projects.

We forget this and we indirectly foster a culture and system of victimization or worse, the pornification of the poor or in this case, "the trafficked." And when you start dehumanizing the poor or trafficked, you have no genuine desire to build relationships with them. You believe or build stereotypes in broad strokes, singular, black and white narratives that have been told about them. You believe the lie that they have nothing to teach us and are incapable of contributing to the larger society.

Lord, break our hearts for the things that break your heart. Give us eyes to see others through your eyes. Give us humility so that we acknowledge our own need to learn and grow. (Photo via @thefreedomstory)

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