Eugene Cho

reason #17,251 why i respect my wife

I don’t have a perfect marriage. I am not perfect. Minhee, my wife, is not perfect as well.

We have shared some of our mistakes in our marriage. I share about my funk. But having said all of this, we love one another and live by grace within the covenant of marriage…

I also respect and admire her for so many things. Some of them include her gentleness, humility, and…her sense of humor. I walked into our bedroom last Sunday with her doing her facial mask thing (which she rarely does). It made me laugh since it kind of scared me.  I took a picture and when I threatened to post in on Facebook, she responded:

“You should. People need to laugh and enjoy life.”

After I posted the picture (below), many commenters freaked out and wondered what kind of big trouble I would get into for posting the picture.:-)

As Minhee and I both enter our 40s, our “lens” has and continues to change. For the same reason that I wouldn’t have had the guts to share publicly about our biggest mistakes in our marriage in the past, I don’t think Minhee would have been willing or able to laugh at herself and actually encourage me to post the picture 10 years ago (or maybe even more recently).

It’s not that we don’t care about our image but maybe it’s because we do – in a changing way.

And in our growing age (and hopefully maturity), we both know that the image of perfection is simply unattainable, unrealistic, and damaging – to ourselves and to others.

You’ve heard it said that people need to take their masks off…
But in this case, maybe we should show our masks.

And while we’re at it, my beauty is all natural. No mask required!

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6 Responses

  1. Dee Small says:

    Please tell Minhee that I do the same thing, I am 60 and mine is GREEN. And my husband understands this about me. :)

  2. laura jeong says:

    Ain’t no shame to admit that you were scared. it can be a scary sight! and might I add that I love when people are able to shamelessly, without being self-degrading, show their masks (which I’m learning how to do)

  3. Melissa says:

    I think this posting is very genuine and sincere. I love the fact that you and your wife have a marriage filled with humor as we can tell by this posting. It is definately a reminder that we all should take a step back and… laugh. I enjoyed reading this posting because it did just that, take a little stress off my back and make me realize there are times when we need to relax and stop taking life so seriously. Thanks!

  4. Chris says:

    Thanks, eugene and minhee! this post is really important to me. i recently had a similar realization and appreciation for how God has granted me courage and changed my obsessions with self-image… brought on by the fact that i put on a wetsuit for surfing. years, even months ago, i probably would have skipped out on a really fun activity just to get out of that kind of attire.

    so, thanks. =)

  5. Ann F-R says:

    Minhee, I had some sample chocolate masques that I just disposed of — never took the time to sit long enough to wear one. Or, maybe I was avoiding the temptation to lick my lips?😀

  6. Jason says:

    humor is so vital to the life of a marriage

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#DontCallUsBeautyAndTheBeast
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#19YearsAndGoingStrong Grateful for the life and leadership of Dr. John M. Perkins. There are alot of sprinters in our culture but make sure to also look for those who are persevering in the marathon of justice and reconciliation. When I think of him and others I consider mentors in my life, they're not necessarily flashy or fancy. Rather, I'm reminded that a life faithfully and honestly lived through life's trials and messiness is one's greatest sermon. The best thing a father can do for their kids...is to care well for their mother. It took me awhile to learn this and I'm still learning this. As a leader, I refuse to sacrifice my marriage and kids for the sake of ministry. How can I? Loving my family IS ministry and leadership.

I acknowledge that I'm so privileged with platform, resources, and opportunities - including the opportunity to travel and take vacations like this trip last month. Its not lost on me. I'm so grateful. I want to steward that privilege well - not just for personal or family enjoyment - but also for the sake of others and the building of the Kingdom of God. 
As I pour into others, I'm also learning how important it is to care for oneself; To care for your spouse; To care for your family; To be about the marathon. Preservation not for the sake of self-preservation but for the sake of discipleship and faithfulness.

I used to feel guilty about Sabbath-ing, vacations for my family, being in the outdoors, fishing, and self-care but it's too important  As a lifelong recovering workaholic, I don't want to burn out and I don't want this for others. Flying in and out of Seattle never gets old. One of the most mesmerizing topographies in the country. #windowseat Thank you, Chicago. Put in 10,000 steps. Still one of the best cities to walk. Want to change the world? 
Start with your own heart. Examine yourself. Grow in your faith. Begin in your homes. Love your family. Pour into young people. Engage your friends. Meet your neighbors. Seek the welfare of your city. Empathize and advocate for the hurting and marginalized. And yes, it's very possible that God may stir your heart for the nations; For people, causes, and issues in other countries but till then, start in the here and now. Be faithful. Be present.  With the people, spaces, and places right in front of you. Selah.

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