Eugene Cho

reason #17,251 why i respect my wife

I don’t have a perfect marriage. I am not perfect. Minhee, my wife, is not perfect as well.

We have shared some of our mistakes in our marriage. I share about my funk. But having said all of this, we love one another and live by grace within the covenant of marriage…

I also respect and admire her for so many things. Some of them include her gentleness, humility, and…her sense of humor. I walked into our bedroom last Sunday with her doing her facial mask thing (which she rarely does). It made me laugh since it kind of scared me.  I took a picture and when I threatened to post in on Facebook, she responded:

“You should. People need to laugh and enjoy life.”

After I posted the picture (below), many commenters freaked out and wondered what kind of big trouble I would get into for posting the picture. 🙂

As Minhee and I both enter our 40s, our “lens” has and continues to change. For the same reason that I wouldn’t have had the guts to share publicly about our biggest mistakes in our marriage in the past, I don’t think Minhee would have been willing or able to laugh at herself and actually encourage me to post the picture 10 years ago (or maybe even more recently).

It’s not that we don’t care about our image but maybe it’s because we do – in a changing way.

And in our growing age (and hopefully maturity), we both know that the image of perfection is simply unattainable, unrealistic, and damaging – to ourselves and to others.

You’ve heard it said that people need to take their masks off…
But in this case, maybe we should show our masks.

And while we’re at it, my beauty is all natural. No mask required!

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6 Responses

  1. Dee Small says:

    Please tell Minhee that I do the same thing, I am 60 and mine is GREEN. And my husband understands this about me. 🙂

  2. laura jeong says:

    Ain’t no shame to admit that you were scared. it can be a scary sight! and might I add that I love when people are able to shamelessly, without being self-degrading, show their masks (which I’m learning how to do)

  3. Melissa says:

    I think this posting is very genuine and sincere. I love the fact that you and your wife have a marriage filled with humor as we can tell by this posting. It is definately a reminder that we all should take a step back and… laugh. I enjoyed reading this posting because it did just that, take a little stress off my back and make me realize there are times when we need to relax and stop taking life so seriously. Thanks!

  4. Chris says:

    Thanks, eugene and minhee! this post is really important to me. i recently had a similar realization and appreciation for how God has granted me courage and changed my obsessions with self-image… brought on by the fact that i put on a wetsuit for surfing. years, even months ago, i probably would have skipped out on a really fun activity just to get out of that kind of attire.

    so, thanks. =)

  5. Ann F-R says:

    Minhee, I had some sample chocolate masques that I just disposed of — never took the time to sit long enough to wear one. Or, maybe I was avoiding the temptation to lick my lips? 😀

  6. Jason says:

    humor is so vital to the life of a marriage

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One Day’s Wages

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F A M I L Y. So grateful to be creating memories.

Confession time: I sucked in my belly like it's the end of the world because of the full solar eclipse and then stopped breathing until this photo was taken. Which is probably why my wife looks like she's punching me on the side. But...mission accomplished. #OldManTricks These are crazy, turbulent times. Fight the good fight. Run the race set before us.

But we also need you for the long haul. Don't burn out. Discipleship and justice work is a marathon. Learn to take care of yourself. Don't play the victim. It's far too tempting to blame others. Be rooted in prayer, Scripture, and community. It's okay to pause, critical to rest and retreat, and godly to practice Sabbath.

#NoteToSelf Everyone loves the idea of  reconciliation...until it involves truthtelling, confessing, repenting, dismantling, forgiving, and peacemaking. Charlottesville. So heartbreaking and infuriating. We weep and mourn over the hatred in the hearts of these white nationalists. We weep and mourn but we can't be defeated.

As I stare at this photo that's making its round on the internet, I'm reminded of the utter importance of showing up. I'm grateful for the news media, law enforcement, clergy, and peaceful protesters that are currently there to report, protect, pray, and protest.

And this is an invitation to us. May we not be mere bystanders. May we keep pressing forward. Seek justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly. Commit to truth-telling, justice, reconciliation, peacemaking. Follow the ways of Christ. Every day. And it's important to note that we don't have to go to Charlottesville to do this. In fact, it's more important that we do this exactly where we're at. May we live out the call to reconciliation in our churches, workplaces, neighborhoods, schools, and around our dining tables. Lord, may it be so... We don't have to go to Charlottesville to do this. We have to do this wherever were called to be.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” ~ Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. /// Thanks to those who let me know that the photo wasn't actually from today but rather from last month in Charlottesville. - https://www.facebook.com/FrankSomervilleKTVU/posts/1551137301616258:0 Grateful for a spontaneous, last minute trip with Minhee to my old stomping grounds - San Francisco. 48 hours of visiting this special city that I called home for so many years.

Pic 1: Went to the Cliff House restaurant where we got engaged about 21 years ago to make out. Oops, sorry, I meant...to reflect on God's faithfulness over these many years.

Pic 2: Walked across the Golden Gate Bridge because it's such an iconic place - with some of the most incredible views.

Pic 3: Enjoyed a glass of some Cabernet Sauvignon and pretended to be wine connoisseurs at a vineyard.

Pic 4: Had lunch at my favorite Chinese restaurant, Sam Tung, which boasts some of the best chicken in the country. And of course, we ate at In-n-out.

Pic 5: And finally, celebrated with the good folks at @thefreedomstory where @onedayswages received their annual Freedom Award. What an honor.

Grateful. Thankful for this sabbatical. Breathe.

Show yourself some grace.

We can't do everything for everyone in every situation. Do what you can and do it with a joyful heart.

Amen

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