Eugene Cho

reason #17,251 why i respect my wife

I don’t have a perfect marriage. I am not perfect. Minhee, my wife, is not perfect as well.

We have shared some of our mistakes in our marriage. I share about my funk. But having said all of this, we love one another and live by grace within the covenant of marriage…

I also respect and admire her for so many things. Some of them include her gentleness, humility, and…her sense of humor. I walked into our bedroom last Sunday with her doing her facial mask thing (which she rarely does). It made me laugh since it kind of scared me.  I took a picture and when I threatened to post in on Facebook, she responded:

“You should. People need to laugh and enjoy life.”

After I posted the picture (below), many commenters freaked out and wondered what kind of big trouble I would get into for posting the picture.🙂

As Minhee and I both enter our 40s, our “lens” has and continues to change. For the same reason that I wouldn’t have had the guts to share publicly about our biggest mistakes in our marriage in the past, I don’t think Minhee would have been willing or able to laugh at herself and actually encourage me to post the picture 10 years ago (or maybe even more recently).

It’s not that we don’t care about our image but maybe it’s because we do – in a changing way.

And in our growing age (and hopefully maturity), we both know that the image of perfection is simply unattainable, unrealistic, and damaging – to ourselves and to others.

You’ve heard it said that people need to take their masks off…
But in this case, maybe we should show our masks.

And while we’re at it, my beauty is all natural. No mask required!

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6 Responses

  1. Dee Small says:

    Please tell Minhee that I do the same thing, I am 60 and mine is GREEN. And my husband understands this about me. 🙂

  2. laura jeong says:

    Ain’t no shame to admit that you were scared. it can be a scary sight! and might I add that I love when people are able to shamelessly, without being self-degrading, show their masks (which I’m learning how to do)

  3. Melissa says:

    I think this posting is very genuine and sincere. I love the fact that you and your wife have a marriage filled with humor as we can tell by this posting. It is definately a reminder that we all should take a step back and… laugh. I enjoyed reading this posting because it did just that, take a little stress off my back and make me realize there are times when we need to relax and stop taking life so seriously. Thanks!

  4. Chris says:

    Thanks, eugene and minhee! this post is really important to me. i recently had a similar realization and appreciation for how God has granted me courage and changed my obsessions with self-image… brought on by the fact that i put on a wetsuit for surfing. years, even months ago, i probably would have skipped out on a really fun activity just to get out of that kind of attire.

    so, thanks. =)

  5. Ann F-R says:

    Minhee, I had some sample chocolate masques that I just disposed of — never took the time to sit long enough to wear one. Or, maybe I was avoiding the temptation to lick my lips?😀

  6. Jason says:

    humor is so vital to the life of a marriage

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Paying respects. Learning the stories of the First Peoples of Australia at the exhibit at Melbourne Museum.  So painful and tragic what many have endured through the injustice of colonization here and around the world. Everyone loves the idea of reconciliation...not many understand the messy and arduous work involved of learning others' stories, truthtelling, confessing, repenting, dismantling, healing, and peacemaking. It may feel like a ritual but it was good to participate in this: The Justice Conference acknowledges the traditional owners on the land on which we meet – the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation. We pay our respects to all Wurundjeri elders past and present. #JusticeConfAu Whoa. Beautiful. Mesmerizing. Also reminded that while buildings are nice and have their place, the building isn't the church Let's fully welcome refugees. Remember, refugees aren't terrorists...they're the ones fleeing away from violence, war, and terrorism. 
Afraid? Me too. It's ok to acknowledge we're afraid since it confirms we're all...just...human. We're all afraid on some level especially when our culture seems to run on the currency of fear but as we live out our faith in Christ and more deeply embody compassion and love, fear begins to dissipate. It's also incredibly critical to know that agencies are implementing some of the most rigorous and thorough vetting ever. 
My family hosted a Somalian Muslim family from a refugee camp years ago through @WorldRelief. It was eye opening, challenging (especially with language realities), and yet, encouraging...and we hope to host families again in the future as they resettle in a completely new and foreign city and country. It's a terrifying experience. And while not a refugee, I remember the first few months as an immigrant when I was six years old. To this day, I remember the kindness of folks that helped us through that transition. Lift a prayer for me as I'm privileged to collaborate in ministry here in Melbourne, Australia. Meeting with local pastors, teaching at the Justice Conference (10/21-22). Then, preaching at the Bridge Church on Sunday  Pray that in preaching the whole Gospel from the Scriptures, I may honor God, point people to Jesus, and be sensitive to the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Interesting. The holy bench. Wow. And in a blink of an eye, this happened. The nights might be long but the years go by fast. #ParentProverbs #WhatHappenedToMy13YearOldSon

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