Eugene Cho

reason #17,251 why i respect my wife

I don’t have a perfect marriage. I am not perfect. Minhee, my wife, is not perfect as well.

We have shared some of our mistakes in our marriage. I share about my funk. But having said all of this, we love one another and live by grace within the covenant of marriage…

I also respect and admire her for so many things. Some of them include her gentleness, humility, and…her sense of humor. I walked into our bedroom last Sunday with her doing her facial mask thing (which she rarely does). It made me laugh since it kind of scared me.  I took a picture and when I threatened to post in on Facebook, she responded:

“You should. People need to laugh and enjoy life.”

After I posted the picture (below), many commenters freaked out and wondered what kind of big trouble I would get into for posting the picture. 🙂

As Minhee and I both enter our 40s, our “lens” has and continues to change. For the same reason that I wouldn’t have had the guts to share publicly about our biggest mistakes in our marriage in the past, I don’t think Minhee would have been willing or able to laugh at herself and actually encourage me to post the picture 10 years ago (or maybe even more recently).

It’s not that we don’t care about our image but maybe it’s because we do – in a changing way.

And in our growing age (and hopefully maturity), we both know that the image of perfection is simply unattainable, unrealistic, and damaging – to ourselves and to others.

You’ve heard it said that people need to take their masks off…
But in this case, maybe we should show our masks.

And while we’re at it, my beauty is all natural. No mask required!

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6 Responses

  1. Dee Small says:

    Please tell Minhee that I do the same thing, I am 60 and mine is GREEN. And my husband understands this about me. 🙂

  2. laura jeong says:

    Ain’t no shame to admit that you were scared. it can be a scary sight! and might I add that I love when people are able to shamelessly, without being self-degrading, show their masks (which I’m learning how to do)

  3. Melissa says:

    I think this posting is very genuine and sincere. I love the fact that you and your wife have a marriage filled with humor as we can tell by this posting. It is definately a reminder that we all should take a step back and… laugh. I enjoyed reading this posting because it did just that, take a little stress off my back and make me realize there are times when we need to relax and stop taking life so seriously. Thanks!

  4. Chris says:

    Thanks, eugene and minhee! this post is really important to me. i recently had a similar realization and appreciation for how God has granted me courage and changed my obsessions with self-image… brought on by the fact that i put on a wetsuit for surfing. years, even months ago, i probably would have skipped out on a really fun activity just to get out of that kind of attire.

    so, thanks. =)

  5. Ann F-R says:

    Minhee, I had some sample chocolate masques that I just disposed of — never took the time to sit long enough to wear one. Or, maybe I was avoiding the temptation to lick my lips? 😀

  6. Jason says:

    humor is so vital to the life of a marriage

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One Day’s Wages

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Thinking back a few months ago at the "White Temple" in Chiang Rai, Thailand - one of the most intense, heavy, and provocative exhibits/musuems I've walked through. It's also a must see if you're visiting this country.

I'm reminded of the incredibly messy and complex work of justice. Anyone that tells you otherwise is lying or selling you something. Run away fast. As non-profits, mission organizations, or leaders, the temptation is always there to put things into neatly packaged solutions...but that can be dangerous. And simply wrong.

On a recent @onedayswages learning/vision trip to Thailand with @jlin7, our hope was for his team/board to experience many things but particularly:

1. Justice work is indeed very messy and complex and thus, solutions are often messy and complex.
2. The importance of meeting and learning from indigenous, local leaders. No one knows their context better than locals. And of course, we need less Western Savior Complex and more of Learn From Indigenous Leaders Commitment.
3. Injustice exists but Hope still persists.

Be encouraged. Keep persisting. Seek justice.

#onedayswages #jlin7 #linsanity Junior high - Check
14th birthday - Check
Tallest in family - Check
Selfie Master - Check

Still my baby son! This was 10 years ago. I dominated my son in wrestling and I know what you're thinking, "How could you employ a rear chokehold armbar kimura on your own son?" Hey, a competition is a competition.

I love you, son. The world is broken. This ia a sad truth. But the story of redemption is not yet finished. God is not yet done. This is the ultimate Truth. Have hope. Press on. Ten years ago, I witnessed one of those "God things" when a church called Interbay Covenant Church gave itself, its legacy, and a building property worth $7 million dollars to @seattlequest. We were then only 5 years old.

Quest is an urban, multiethnic churchplant that started in 2001. We rented the facilities at Interbay Covenant Church - a predominantly older, mostly Anglo congregation with a rich 65 years history. After some time, Pastor Ray Bartel (senior pastor, Interbay) approached me with a "crazy idea" of Interbay "dying to itself and giving itself to Quest" for the sake of the greater Kingdom and the coming generations.

This eventually led to three years of many conversations and prayers. On June 3, 2007, the two churches officially came together to become one church. In giving itself, Interbay also shared their leadership, legacy, and stories. They also gave all of their assets without any strings and without any debt.

Their radical generosity and courage is what enabled Quest to grow - not just numerically - but deeper in discipleship, and deeper in missions - to the city of Seattle and beyond. On the occasion of the 10th anniversary of this merger, we created a short film (check my FB page to see the video) to tell the story - so that our church and the next generations may never forget and that the larger Church may be stirred and encouraged by a greater Kingdom vision.

Thank you, Interbay! The NBA season is over but the hustle and grind continues for my daughter. We argue sometimes but I love training my daughter. She's working hard for her senior year next year. Starting point guard. She's improved a lot. She's one of the quickest players on the floor and has a great midrange jumper. But trying to get her to keep working on her handles, using her off hand and shoulder to protect the ball,  staying and dribbling the ball lower to the ground, and playing aggressive and downhill while remaining in control. That's what we're working on this week. #hoopdreams #ChovarBall

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