Eugene Cho

jack bauer is a very naughty man

I admit it. I was glued to the TV show, 24, and its central character, Jack Bauer for the first two seasons.  I didn’t watch it on TV but rented them on DVD and voraciously devoured them over couple weeks. But after two seasons of episodes, it seemed like the same thing – again and again. And here’s another question that kept me awake for nights:

Why doesn’t Jack Bauer ever go to the bathroom?

But I digress.

Another reason why I stopped watching is that despite how heroic Jack Bauer may be, he was becoming a naughty man. How naughty? Check out this video of him interrogating Santa Claus…just in time for Christmas. Enjoy.


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16 Responses

  1. […] a follow-up to my recent post on Santa, I came across this in my “research”. Thanks to Eugene Cho for finding […]

  2. Jack Bauer does not go to the bathroom, because his ethics and tortured soul prevent him from being able to.

    Once again, Jack putting himself on the line for the sake of the world. He’s lost his family, been in hiding, been tortured, and now he’s on the naughty list.

  3. Henry Zonio says:

    Ha! Saw this via AllTop. I laughed so hard. I keep watching 24 simply because of the ridiculous-ness of what they pack in to 24 hours. Jack can go from clinically dead and being shocked back to life to fighting a terrorist in a matter of a couple of hours. It is also interesting to watch through the ethical grayness… some of it is though-provoking.

  4. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Paul Steinbrueck, Jaystevenson. Jaystevenson said: Jack Bauer. Alone. In a room with Santa (via @ShaunKing) […]

  5. Alex Oh says:

    That was pretty funny. Clever editing.

    Most people connect Kiefer Sutherland with Jack Bauer but I remember the first time I saw him was in the memorable role of Dr. Schreber in Dark City. I always remember Sutherland as that nervous, stuttering Doctor.

  6. Jim says:

    i’m kinda crushed…it’s like my childhood vs. my manhood…and all this on the when I’m going to watch Polar Express with my kids…why don’t they make it where Jack has to take over the polar express train…what is this?the holiday patriot act?

  7. Erik H says:

    Eugene, it’s quite easy to understand. He goes pee when they switch to a scene that he isn’t in.

  8. John Barcanic says:

    It’s actually simple biology: Jack Bauer never goes to the bathroom because he never eats.

    I was also a big 24 fan at the beginning. Sometime in the middle of season 2 we started counting the number of times he used the words “protocol” or “set up a perimeter” in every episode. Not worth our time any more.

  9. Fraser says:

    Jack goes to the bathroom during the 20 minutes of commercials in every “hour-long” episode. They should call it “16”.

  10. Cam Schneider says:

    Jack Bauer totally drops the deuce during the commercial breaks, then gets back into things when they’re back from the break. That’s tons of opportunities.

  11. Andy M says:

    Though I’ve never paid enough attention to know for sure, I don’t think anybody on TV shows or movies go to the bathroom, unless its a comedy.

  12. Peter says:

    I acknowledge that after first few seasons, “24” has started to feel… familiar… but Jack Bauer’s style is what keeps me interested… and the writers are doing a good job… but it is nearing time to let go and say ‘goodbye’ before it becomes like “Alias”.

  13. Contrast “24” with “The Sopranos.” One becomes (nauseatingly) intimate with many of the bodily functions of Tony, Pauli, Chrisy, and Big Pussy. But Soprano characters are not ‘real’ Americans (notice how many names end in vowels). Jack represents Real America as the heroic (usually white) individualized male (over the ineffectual, ‘feminized’ impotent, and dithering intellectuals and all there inability to solve real-world problems because of the constraints imposed by other tofu-liberals more concerned with building criminals self-esteem than ‘kicking ass”–that may be a quote from Dick Cheney). Unlike Jesus (in several ways) Jack is self-resurrecting, he gives his life over and again to an ungrateful world full of weaklings and traitors. Thus his body attains a kind of holiness as a site of pain and scarification, and his beatified flesh is only allowed the humanity we can project ourselves upon. He is at once a wounded-healer and a wounding-killer; Jack is the Jesus we would invent for ourselves–he is America’s Calvinist Golem. We can forgive him any transgression (torture, lying, stealing, murder) everything except making us confront the truth of our own broken humanity. It is difficult to imagine Jesus/Jack sitting on a toilet and wiping his Butt. If he is that human, then maybe he is not god enough to save us from the next terrible apocalypse threatened by evil-doers who despise us for our virtue and goodness. Obliged.

  14. Rick in Texas says:

    I love 24. And I loved the clip.

    Last season (or was it the 2 hour summer special they made to invite us back after the previous season collapsed due to the strike and Kiefer’s own legal troubles)opened with jack doing missions work in Africa.

    Incidentally if you like Kiefer’s work, he is a featured player in what may be my favorite movie of all time or at least in the top 5 – “To End All Wars”, a splendid WW2 film. You should check it out Eugene (and readers)

  15. […] Jack Bauer Interrotages Santa Claus The editing in this clip is so funny and it’s probably the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. It’s more funny if you know the character of Jack Bauer. […]

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One Day’s Wages

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As I soaked in this breathtaking sunrise this morning above the clouds, I felt compelled to pray for so my places in America and around the world that are experiencing such pain, heartache, injustice, and violence. At times, it feels so overwhelming but in prayer, I was reminded of these words from John 16:33. As we keep striving, working, hoping, preaching, loving, truthtelling, reconciling, repenting, forgiving, dismantling, peacemaking, Kingdom building...may we fix our eyes on Christ: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33 Grateful for a very full weekend of ministry and preaching in Toronto, Canada (GTA). Such a privilege to partner with @worldvisioncan @wvcollective to advocate for the most vulnerable around the world. God is so gracious. A true honor to meet and encourage local pastors, lecture at Tyndale University & Seminary (photo), and preach at Richmond Hills Community Church, Compass Point Bible Church, and New City Church. Thank you, Lord, that you use broken and imperfect people like me to speak of Your love. Today, Minhee and I dropped off our eldest child at her college. We have been thinking and praying about this day for many years. On some days, we hoped it would never come. On other days, we couldn't wait for it to come. On some days, we prayed for time to stop and other days, we prayed with anticipation. 
After an entire summer of laughing it off, it hit us...hard...this week. Seeing all of her stuff laid out on the basement floor was the catalyst to a load of emotions.

After unloading the car and taking her stuff to her new home for this year and mindful that she might never live with us again; helping sort out her stuff, saying hello to her roommates...I wasn't sure what to do or say.

A flood of thoughts rushed my mind.

Is she ready?
Have we done enough?
Have we taught her enough? 
What if this? What if that?

And so we shared what we have shared with her the moment she began to understand words: "Remember who you are. Remember WHO you belong to. Remember what you're about. God loves you so much. Please hold God's Word and His promises close and dear to your heart. We love you so much and we are so proud of you." And with that, we said goodbye. Even if she may not be thousands of miles away, this is a new chapter for her and even for us. I kept it composed. Her roommate was staring at me. I didn't want to be that father. I have street cred to uphold. Another final hug. 
And I came home.
And I wept.
Forget my street cred.
I miss her. I love her.
She will always be my little baby.

I'm no parenting guru. I just laughed as I wrote that line. No, I'm stumbling and bumbling along but I'd love to share an ephiphany I learned not that long ago. Coming to this realization was incredibly painful but simultaneously, liberating. To be honest, it was the ultimate game-changer in my understanding as a parent seeking after the heart of God.

While there are many methods, tools, philosophies, and biblical principles to parenting, there is – in my opinion – only one purpose or destination.

Our purpose as parents is to eventually…release them. Send forth. For His glory. Met a friend and fellow pastor who I haven't seen in over 20 years. In him, I saw a glimpse of my future. While only 10 years older, his kids are married and he's now a grandfather of 3. His love for his wife and family were so evident and his passion for the Gospel has not wavered. It was so good to see someone a bit older still passionately serving the Lord with such joy and faithfulness. Lord, help me to keep running the race for your Glory. Happy wife.
Happy life. - Eugenius 3:16

I still remember that time, many years ago, when Minhee was pregnant with our first child. She had left her family and friends in Korea just two years before. Her morning sickness was horrible and when she finally had an appetite, she craved her favorite Korean food from certain restaurants in her neighborhood in Seoul, Korea. I had no way of getting that food from those restaurants so I actually said, "How about a Whopper? Big Mac?" Sorry honey. Eat away. You deserve it. I don't care if it sounds mushy but sunsets are one of my love languages. Seoul, Korea was amazing but WOW...what a breathtaking welcome back sunset by Seattle. Not ready to let go of summer.

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