Last night, I ruptured my Achilles while playing basketball. *#@&*
No, this isn’t an old post. I ruptured by LEFT Achilles several years ago and let me say it was one of the most painful injuries I’ve ever experienced. I’m not embarrassed to say I cried like a baby when it popped (while playing basketball). The surgery and recovery was arduous – further complexified that it took place a few months after the birth of our 3rd child.
In preparation to play ball yesterday, I tweeted this in the afternoon:
is considering playing basketball with the quest boys tonight. praying that i don’t rupture the other achilles.
And during the last basketball game, I ripped my RIGHT Achilles. *#@&*
The physical pain is there and I’m not looking forward to going in for another surgery (and recovery) but I’m just a tad emotionally worn out.
Most of my readers & those that are praying for me know that the past couple months have been especially tough. I made one of the hardest decisions as a father & husband and chose to move our family out of our home to sublet (to position ourselves to honor our pledge for One Day’s Wages).
The pain will subside but it’s the emotional stuff, you know? Needing to tell the kids that we need to cancel our camping trip this weekend. Needing to tell them we may need to cancel our summer vacation trip next month. We were going to borrow our friend’s RV for a great road trip to the Midwest and that was to be the highlight of our summer. Trying to support (not well) my wife while she’s a quasi full-time grad student. Blah blah blah.
And maybe it’s just seeing your kids see their Dad vulnerable and in need. Because while I don’t want to admit it, I don’t like to see my kids see me like this. I’m supposed to take care of them…I don’t like them crying for Dad. Several years ago, after my ruptured achilles, surgery and recovery…I got run over by car. True story. This was when I was attempting to save a young woman’s life…and well, it didn’t go too well. What I remember the most about that time (besides a Honda Civic rolling over my leg) is rolling on the pavement and seeing Minhee and the kids ABSORB the whole incident and the absolute horror of the worst scenario.
The kids still haven’t forgotten. And last night brought back all those emotions.
I want to be strong, be in control…I want to be a hero.
And so, today, I am making my retirement official (a la Brett Favre). I don’t want to be a wanna-be-hero anymore. I’m taking off my mask (or my goggles)…
And at least for me, storms often take place when our allusion of control and strength are challenged and humbled. And this season has certainly been challenging and humbling.
And so I pray, invite, receive His Grace – sufficient for me in my Weakness.
Thanks for your support & prayers. I’m seeing a specialist tomorrow and hoping to go in for surgery on Friday.