Since I was intending to write some posts on marriage, dating, and some other issues related to relationships in the coming month, I thought I’d share a few personal thoughts about Jon & Kate’s announcement to proceed with divorce and end their marriage. Umm, this despite saying I wasn’t going to blog about them. Just this once.
Last night’s show was the first full show I’ve seen. I’ve seen snippets here and there. For whatever reason, I remember the episode where they were at church, sharing their story in front of their church community with their pastor, and recounting God’s faithfulness in their lives.
And now, it’s come to this… Last night’s announcement had no mention of God, covenant, church, community, or prayer. I wonder what kind of pastoral/spiritual care and counseling they are seeking and receiving. So, let me ask you:
If you were in Jon & Kate’s community group or was their pastor, how would you advise/counsel them?
I have no personal feelings for the Gosselins since I have no relationship with them but it is indeed sad to see their marriage exposed and explode in the public arena of reality TV. Let me also say that I really have no idea about all the details and gossip. I just know stuff is going on because of the buzz and all the magazine & tabloid covers. But I wanted to share three simple things with them if I was Jon and Kate’s pastor and was approached for counsel:
1. “The show must go on…” // No, the show must not go on…the Marriage must go on but the Show is absolutely unessential. The show needed to have ended a season ago. The show may have been a good idea at one point but it’s no longer a good idea. They’re sharing their pain and drama in front of an audience of people who have no deep soul connection with you. End the show and spend some quality time with your counselors, pastors, community, and family.
Ending the show should have been the announcement on Monday. Give reconciliation, counseling, and healing a chance without the cameras.
2. Remember your vows. Remember your Covenant with God and with one another.
When you’re angry, upset, hurting, and bitter, our covenant doesn’t often prevail but rather, it’s these feelings. What they are feeling – anger, bitterness, betrayal, etc.- are all legitimate. They are experiencing every one of them but our feelings can also betray us which is why we make and honor these vows and submit – joyfully, respectfully and at times, painfully – to our Covenant.
Because of our Covenant with one another and with God, we seek to live by Grace. We strive to listen to the other person, understand, seek counsel, ask for forgiveness and forgive, pray, communicate our feelings, pray some more… If you believe God brought you together, God can sustain us if we confess, repent, and receive and extend grace to one another.
3. Repent…for God loves you.
It’s as short, honest, and real as possible. Repent. Apologize. Forgive. And start the healing process. God has never stopped loving you both and your entire family. Repentance conveys to us that God has a better way for us. It’s painful and a lot of work but there’s a better path.
Despite their announcement, I’d still say:
Reconciliation is possible. Do you believe?
Two more random things somewhat related:
- What is TLC’s responsibility here? For goodness sakes, turn off the cameras.
- Reminds me again: Can anyone resist the power, fame, and glory of “…my precious?”