I hope it was ok for me to be honest about some of the suckiness I’ve been feeling recently. Sometimes, I’ll read and hear what other pastors are writing or saying and I sometimes have doubts. Everything they say, do, or experience about their lives or their ministry seems to be perfect, amazing, and incredible…like totally…like 24/7…every day. That’s cool if it’s true.
I’m not like that. I have my share of stuff, frustrations, and pain. Of course, I don’t use the blogosphere to share alot of that stuff because it may hurt people but I don’t mind sharing – as honestly as I can – that sometimes, things suck. Simply, I’m okay with not always being okay.
The things I shared on my last post – When It Rains, It Pours – are stuff that sucked that I could share. The stuff I couldn’t share were the real sucky stuff. I don’t want to paint or portray that everything is perfect, beautiful, and rosy all the time. Because it’s not.
So, what does that mean for Quest? Nothing…except to say it’s far from a perfect church and I’m far from a perfect pastor.
I can’t speak for other churches and ministries. I can only speak for what God has chosen to do through the leadership and community at Quest… it’s pretty amazing. As a pastor, it’s tough to only hear the bad, negative, and critical stuff. So, it’s good, important, and healthy to take the opportunities to step back, soak in, and enjoy.
I still remember working as a custodian trying to make ends meet and wondering why Quest wasn’t getting started. I remember the 7 people that joined us for our first meeting. I remember several months of trying to get a dozen people to commit to our first community group. I remember being kicked out of the University District and not knowing where to go. I remember asking 40 people in the 6th month of our churchplant to help us raise $100,000 to help birth a non-profit and non-religious community cafe and music venue. I remember the frustration of having no other children at Quest besides our own and seeing nearly 70+ kids this past Sunday with another baby born yesterday at Quest and another due any minute. I remember the incredible Kingdom mindedness of our then landlords – Interbay Covenant Church – choosing to close down their 65 year old church, handing the entire property over to Quest, and joining our community. I remember and rejoice in the stories of women, men, and children seeking to live their lives for the glory and honor of Christ.
Lots of exciting things. Quest keeps growing. Community groups are growing. Excited about the three foundations: Churchplanting, Community Development, and Global Presence. We not only met our projected financial goals last year but exceeded it.
Blah blah blah.
I just want to make sure we don’t become a church that feels like we have so much to lose that we take a posture of “protecting our interests.” Quest began with a vision for faithful and prayerful risktaking and I pray that never changes.