Eugene Cho

my truck nutz is bigger than your truck nutz

Has this blog hit a low point?  Will my wife kick my arse for posting photos of Hooter girls?  Am I infatuated with being more manly?  There is nothing more manly than a huge 4 x 4 truck pimped out with truck testicles.  This is funny crazy – even crazier that a Florida senator admitted he had a pair on his truck.  

I’m assuming that the truck nutz could be very distracting on the road and lead to possible accidents.  I can imagine someone saying:

“Officer.  It isn’t my fault. I was distracted by those things.”

What do you think my wife would do if I pimped out our family’s Honda Odyssey Mivivan with truck nutz as a Mother’s Day gift? 

The infamous Truck Nutz have now been deemed illegal in Florida and are punishable with a measly $60 fine. If you remember, Virginia was working on enacting a similar bill that would make displaying the genitals a misdemeanor punishable with a $250 fine. What makes this even funnier is what some of Florida’s senators had to say about the matter, including an admission of guilt by one.

Sen. Jim King, R-Jacksonville, said he had a set on one of his vehicles, which he described as “all pimped out.” They are no more than “an expression of truckliness,” he said, although he’d acceded to his wife’s request to take them off.Another senator also weighed in on the matters.

“I find it shocking we’d tell people with metallic testicles on their bumpers that this is a violation,” said Sen. Steve Geller, D-Hallandale. “There’s got to be better things for us to spend time debating.”Ban or not, we’re still finding it hilarious that a “prestigious” Florida senator has the, ahem, testicular fortitude to admit that he himself has a set. Florida citizens, do you really want to be represented by a truck nutter? We guess it beats other Florida Republican state legislators, at least he didn’t offer a cop $20 to play with his truck nuts in a park bathroom. [Florida Capital News]

[h/t Jalopnik]

Filed under: entertainment

22 Responses

  1. Leah says:

    this should be one of the top 10 reasons why men shouldn’t be in ministry…

  2. Daniel Azuma says:

    Aaaa! Pastor Leah’s comment was even funnier than the article itself. ROTFL!

  3. Dennis says:

    I have to give you props. You have the most diverse topics for your blog.

  4. Ian says:

    I gotta get me a pair of those. I mean, uh- a second pair. Um, anyhew…

    ps- I love that one hangs lower than the other. Will the ball model please stand up?

  5. David says:

    I have seen them on a Truck and a Mustang, flesh tone and chromed respectively. Having been to free and public museums where the full package is sculpted out of stone I would say Florida is on shaky ground. With those things on the road even the most diligent home-schooling family is going to be having ‘uncofortable’ conversations about anatomy.

  6. BUSH says:

    what’s even funnier is a pair of blue ones that i saw on an 18-wheeler. i couldn’t stop laughing.

  7. Blake says:

    David, I win… I saw them (a small pair) hanging from the back of a honda civic the other day.😀

  8. eugenecho says:

    blake,
    wait a sec. you telling me you saw a pair here in seattle?!?

  9. Alan Klug says:

    @ Ian:

    You know they’re supposed to be like that, right?

  10. Ian says:

    Alan:

    “supposed” is what exists before the aliens show you the probe room.

  11. Bill P. says:

    @Alan,

    I hate to admit this but you made me look.

  12. Ian says:

    Bill- I hope you’re not serving food.

  13. chad says:

    HA HA HA !

    reminds me of a story i heard once (this is second-hand, so bear with me) from a Starbucks Customer Service phone rep – a man had received an entire home espresso kit for Christmas – machine, grinder, beans, syrups, accessories, the works. he brings the whole thing in not long after the New Year and tells the store manager that he wants to return it all. in cases where a customer wants to return a large amount of merchandise (especially expensive merchandise) like this gentleman wanted, approval is required from corporate headquarters. so the phone rep is talking to the store manager and he asks “So what is the reason for returning these items?” to which the store manager replies “Well, it’s complicated, so I’m going to let the customer tell you.” the customer gets on the phone “is there some kind of problem?” “No Sir,” the phone rep replies “We are going to get you a refund and everything will be taken care of, I just need to file a reason for the return with the record. So if you could just tell me why you would like to return the merchandise, we will get you all taken care of.” “Truck Nutz” the customer replies. “Excuse me?” says the phone rep. “You know, Truck Nutz – those fake bull testicles people hang off the hitches on their trucks. one of your baristas has truck nutz and i’m offended by them and i don’t want to support a company that lets its employees have Truck Nutz.” To which the phone rep had to choke back his laughter and tell the man that his refund had been approved and he was all done. the “offending” barista – who was apparently there as well, asked the phone rep if she had to remove the Nutz and was told that she was well within her rights to have them.
    makes me smile every time i think of this story

  14. Bill P. says:

    Long time to see Eugene. How’s it hanging?

    Sorry. I couldn’t resist…

  15. Pat says:

    I’ve seen ’em in Seattle. Probably somebody from Puyallup though.

    I’ve thought about getting one to put on my wife’s SUV just to see if she notices, but then I’d also like stay married.

  16. aaron says:

    They are all around Nor-Cal. Funny the first time, but after that its a little, well, nuts! The Chrome ones are pretty funny (at least the first two or three times)… and its probably what the ultimate fighting Jesus would have on his “rig”.

    As far as Florida goes… whats next bovine briefs?

  17. Danny says:

    The entry isn’t the lowpoint of your blog but the comments are making it so. But damn it’s so hilarious.

  18. Jason Douros says:

    Yeah there is a pair on a red Ford F-something-or-other here in West Seattle. It is parked right on Beach drive as you cruise by lovely Alki beach. And yes, they are blue. I have to look at them everyday I pick up my son from school.

    I hate those stupid things, and agree with Leah…more evidence that men should not be ordained for maturities sake…:)

    We (my wife and I) actually saw what we think was a version of them the other day. It was a chrome Hitch Cover…but it was kind of abstract…and we believe that it may have been the the whole male package if you get my drift. Though if it was…it wasn’t one of particularly notably large size.

    Rednecks…ya gotta love ’em…you know because Jesus said to and all.

  19. eugenecho says:

    I am honestly very disturbed that the Truck Nutz has arrived to the Pacific Northwest. I am scared to see some Tree Hugging, Granola Eatin, Plastic Recyclin’ Dude with a Pair of these Nutz on their Prius.

  20. m@ says:

    IT TAKES BRASS BALLS TO INSTALL TRUCK NUTZ.

    Name that flick!

  21. Gary Rybold says:

    Here in California, they’re legal. We think it’s more funny than anything else. I agree with that FL senator that said they state legislature should be spending their time on more important things … LIKE CRIME and IMPROVING THE SCHOOLS!

  22. reporter666 says:

    fyi ? ok I saw yours now you can see mine http://reporter666.wordpress.com nutty stuff funny pics of these things enjoy nutty drivers

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