Eugene Cho

my truck nutz is bigger than your truck nutz

Has this blog hit a low point?  Will my wife kick my arse for posting photos of Hooter girls?  Am I infatuated with being more manly?  There is nothing more manly than a huge 4 x 4 truck pimped out with truck testicles.  This is funny crazy – even crazier that a Florida senator admitted he had a pair on his truck.  

I’m assuming that the truck nutz could be very distracting on the road and lead to possible accidents.  I can imagine someone saying:

“Officer.  It isn’t my fault. I was distracted by those things.”

What do you think my wife would do if I pimped out our family’s Honda Odyssey Mivivan with truck nutz as a Mother’s Day gift? 

The infamous Truck Nutz have now been deemed illegal in Florida and are punishable with a measly $60 fine. If you remember, Virginia was working on enacting a similar bill that would make displaying the genitals a misdemeanor punishable with a $250 fine. What makes this even funnier is what some of Florida’s senators had to say about the matter, including an admission of guilt by one.

Sen. Jim King, R-Jacksonville, said he had a set on one of his vehicles, which he described as “all pimped out.” They are no more than “an expression of truckliness,” he said, although he’d acceded to his wife’s request to take them off.Another senator also weighed in on the matters.

“I find it shocking we’d tell people with metallic testicles on their bumpers that this is a violation,” said Sen. Steve Geller, D-Hallandale. “There’s got to be better things for us to spend time debating.”Ban or not, we’re still finding it hilarious that a “prestigious” Florida senator has the, ahem, testicular fortitude to admit that he himself has a set. Florida citizens, do you really want to be represented by a truck nutter? We guess it beats other Florida Republican state legislators, at least he didn’t offer a cop $20 to play with his truck nuts in a park bathroom. [Florida Capital News]

[h/t Jalopnik]

Filed under: entertainment

22 Responses

  1. Leah says:

    this should be one of the top 10 reasons why men shouldn’t be in ministry…

  2. Daniel Azuma says:

    Aaaa! Pastor Leah’s comment was even funnier than the article itself. ROTFL!

  3. Dennis says:

    I have to give you props. You have the most diverse topics for your blog.

  4. Ian says:

    I gotta get me a pair of those. I mean, uh- a second pair. Um, anyhew…

    ps- I love that one hangs lower than the other. Will the ball model please stand up?

  5. David says:

    I have seen them on a Truck and a Mustang, flesh tone and chromed respectively. Having been to free and public museums where the full package is sculpted out of stone I would say Florida is on shaky ground. With those things on the road even the most diligent home-schooling family is going to be having ‘uncofortable’ conversations about anatomy.

  6. BUSH says:

    what’s even funnier is a pair of blue ones that i saw on an 18-wheeler. i couldn’t stop laughing.

  7. Blake says:

    David, I win… I saw them (a small pair) hanging from the back of a honda civic the other day.😀

  8. eugenecho says:

    blake,
    wait a sec. you telling me you saw a pair here in seattle?!?

  9. Alan Klug says:

    @ Ian:

    You know they’re supposed to be like that, right?

  10. Ian says:

    Alan:

    “supposed” is what exists before the aliens show you the probe room.

  11. Bill P. says:

    @Alan,

    I hate to admit this but you made me look.

  12. Ian says:

    Bill- I hope you’re not serving food.

  13. chad says:

    HA HA HA !

    reminds me of a story i heard once (this is second-hand, so bear with me) from a Starbucks Customer Service phone rep – a man had received an entire home espresso kit for Christmas – machine, grinder, beans, syrups, accessories, the works. he brings the whole thing in not long after the New Year and tells the store manager that he wants to return it all. in cases where a customer wants to return a large amount of merchandise (especially expensive merchandise) like this gentleman wanted, approval is required from corporate headquarters. so the phone rep is talking to the store manager and he asks “So what is the reason for returning these items?” to which the store manager replies “Well, it’s complicated, so I’m going to let the customer tell you.” the customer gets on the phone “is there some kind of problem?” “No Sir,” the phone rep replies “We are going to get you a refund and everything will be taken care of, I just need to file a reason for the return with the record. So if you could just tell me why you would like to return the merchandise, we will get you all taken care of.” “Truck Nutz” the customer replies. “Excuse me?” says the phone rep. “You know, Truck Nutz – those fake bull testicles people hang off the hitches on their trucks. one of your baristas has truck nutz and i’m offended by them and i don’t want to support a company that lets its employees have Truck Nutz.” To which the phone rep had to choke back his laughter and tell the man that his refund had been approved and he was all done. the “offending” barista – who was apparently there as well, asked the phone rep if she had to remove the Nutz and was told that she was well within her rights to have them.
    makes me smile every time i think of this story

  14. Bill P. says:

    Long time to see Eugene. How’s it hanging?

    Sorry. I couldn’t resist…

  15. Pat says:

    I’ve seen ’em in Seattle. Probably somebody from Puyallup though.

    I’ve thought about getting one to put on my wife’s SUV just to see if she notices, but then I’d also like stay married.

  16. aaron says:

    They are all around Nor-Cal. Funny the first time, but after that its a little, well, nuts! The Chrome ones are pretty funny (at least the first two or three times)… and its probably what the ultimate fighting Jesus would have on his “rig”.

    As far as Florida goes… whats next bovine briefs?

  17. Danny says:

    The entry isn’t the lowpoint of your blog but the comments are making it so. But damn it’s so hilarious.

  18. Jason Douros says:

    Yeah there is a pair on a red Ford F-something-or-other here in West Seattle. It is parked right on Beach drive as you cruise by lovely Alki beach. And yes, they are blue. I have to look at them everyday I pick up my son from school.

    I hate those stupid things, and agree with Leah…more evidence that men should not be ordained for maturities sake…:)

    We (my wife and I) actually saw what we think was a version of them the other day. It was a chrome Hitch Cover…but it was kind of abstract…and we believe that it may have been the the whole male package if you get my drift. Though if it was…it wasn’t one of particularly notably large size.

    Rednecks…ya gotta love ’em…you know because Jesus said to and all.

  19. eugenecho says:

    I am honestly very disturbed that the Truck Nutz has arrived to the Pacific Northwest. I am scared to see some Tree Hugging, Granola Eatin, Plastic Recyclin’ Dude with a Pair of these Nutz on their Prius.

  20. m@ says:

    IT TAKES BRASS BALLS TO INSTALL TRUCK NUTZ.

    Name that flick!

  21. Gary Rybold says:

    Here in California, they’re legal. We think it’s more funny than anything else. I agree with that FL senator that said they state legislature should be spending their time on more important things … LIKE CRIME and IMPROVING THE SCHOOLS!

  22. reporter666 says:

    fyi ? ok I saw yours now you can see mine http://reporter666.wordpress.com nutty stuff funny pics of these things enjoy nutty drivers

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As I soaked in this breathtaking sunrise this morning above the clouds, I felt compelled to pray for so my places in America and around the world that are experiencing such pain, heartache, injustice, and violence. At times, it feels so overwhelming but in prayer, I was reminded of these words from John 16:33. As we keep striving, working, hoping, preaching, loving, truthtelling, reconciling, repenting, forgiving, dismantling, peacemaking, Kingdom building...may we fix our eyes on Christ: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33 Grateful for a very full weekend of ministry and preaching in Toronto, Canada (GTA). Such a privilege to partner with @worldvisioncan @wvcollective to advocate for the most vulnerable around the world. God is so gracious. A true honor to meet and encourage local pastors, lecture at Tyndale University & Seminary (photo), and preach at Richmond Hills Community Church, Compass Point Bible Church, and New City Church. Thank you, Lord, that you use broken and imperfect people like me to speak of Your love. Today, Minhee and I dropped off our eldest child at her college. We have been thinking and praying about this day for many years. On some days, we hoped it would never come. On other days, we couldn't wait for it to come. On some days, we prayed for time to stop and other days, we prayed with anticipation. 
After an entire summer of laughing it off, it hit us...hard...this week. Seeing all of her stuff laid out on the basement floor was the catalyst to a load of emotions.

After unloading the car and taking her stuff to her new home for this year and mindful that she might never live with us again; helping sort out her stuff, saying hello to her roommates...I wasn't sure what to do or say.

A flood of thoughts rushed my mind.

Is she ready?
Have we done enough?
Have we taught her enough? 
What if this? What if that?

And so we shared what we have shared with her the moment she began to understand words: "Remember who you are. Remember WHO you belong to. Remember what you're about. God loves you so much. Please hold God's Word and His promises close and dear to your heart. We love you so much and we are so proud of you." And with that, we said goodbye. Even if she may not be thousands of miles away, this is a new chapter for her and even for us. I kept it composed. Her roommate was staring at me. I didn't want to be that father. I have street cred to uphold. Another final hug. 
And I came home.
And I wept.
Forget my street cred.
I miss her. I love her.
She will always be my little baby.

I'm no parenting guru. I just laughed as I wrote that line. No, I'm stumbling and bumbling along but I'd love to share an ephiphany I learned not that long ago. Coming to this realization was incredibly painful but simultaneously, liberating. To be honest, it was the ultimate game-changer in my understanding as a parent seeking after the heart of God.

While there are many methods, tools, philosophies, and biblical principles to parenting, there is – in my opinion – only one purpose or destination.

Our purpose as parents is to eventually…release them. Send forth. For His glory. Met a friend and fellow pastor who I haven't seen in over 20 years. In him, I saw a glimpse of my future. While only 10 years older, his kids are married and he's now a grandfather of 3. His love for his wife and family were so evident and his passion for the Gospel has not wavered. It was so good to see someone a bit older still passionately serving the Lord with such joy and faithfulness. Lord, help me to keep running the race for your Glory. Happy wife.
Happy life. - Eugenius 3:16

I still remember that time, many years ago, when Minhee was pregnant with our first child. She had left her family and friends in Korea just two years before. Her morning sickness was horrible and when she finally had an appetite, she craved her favorite Korean food from certain restaurants in her neighborhood in Seoul, Korea. I had no way of getting that food from those restaurants so I actually said, "How about a Whopper? Big Mac?" Sorry honey. Eat away. You deserve it. I don't care if it sounds mushy but sunsets are one of my love languages. Seoul, Korea was amazing but WOW...what a breathtaking welcome back sunset by Seattle. Not ready to let go of summer.

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