Eugene Cho

cute guys

I had a short but quasi-hilarious conversation today about cute guys – or a purported lack of – with a Quest single woman [QSW] that went like this:

QSW:  What do you call a cute guy at Quest?

Me:  Huh?  Ok…what?

QSW:  A visitor…

Me:  [laughing] That’s cold.

We have plenty of good looking, single, and manly dudes at Quest – like the Jedi Knight Karaoke Barefoot Dude.  Dudes, where are you?  Represent…

Let’s get Q|Harmony rolling.  

questdude.jpg

Filed under: entertainment

28 Responses

  1. Michael says:

    Ouch. But how do I sign up for Q Harmony? 🙂

  2. Randall says:

    …it’s on Facebook, run by Leo.

    We may not be the cutest…but we’re smart(ish) and some of us are in rock bands!

  3. georgesong says:

    wait… isn’t that the robe you wore when you preached last sunday? 😉

  4. sam chon says:

    Yes, Darwin is cute! But posting a photo of him in a pseudo-Jedi costume was not the best choice for your example.

  5. Blake says:

    That’s no Jedi… that’s Naruto! 😀 And there are PLENTY of cute single guys at Quest. The problem is, no one asks anyone out.

  6. katie says:

    careful! you don’t want to get mixed up with that church across the canal that’s stated goal is to marry off every single person in community groups…

  7. Rebecca says:

    As a QSW, I will agree with Blake’s comment. Seriously guys, we’re not THAT intimidating!

  8. Jin says:

    STEP UP BOYS!!!

  9. Linda says:

    If nothing else, this post should encourage more visitors to Quest!

    And ditto Blake, Randall, and Rebecca! (at least, for the humble sake of our fragile egos we QSWs like to pretend it’s the intimidation factor and nothing worse!)

  10. me says:

    and boys, i do want you to know that after this QSW said this joke…i did initially chuckle. but after that, i rebuked her and kicked her out of the church. no one, i mean no one makes jokes about my homeboys.

  11. Randall says:

    …yeah, and then you put up a blog about it.

    There’s lots I want to say on this topic but I’m tired. I’ve been mixing/recording tracks for my band for three straight nights after work and I need to get up early tomorrow.

    I’ll just say this. Rituals of modern courtship have to me among the most dysfunctional of all time. It’s like trying to do surgery with boxing gloves on.

  12. me says:

    randall, sorry if i offended…

    it’s really not that dysfunctional. it’s just awkward, painful, and complex because it now takes place in such a public sphere.

  13. Darwin says:

    I suppose I should be thoroughly embarassed of that photo, but I can’t stop laughing. I think I was serenading David and Chris with “I Believe I Can Fly” by R. Kelly at the time.

    Apologies to the guys at Quest for perhaps not being the best representative, but I would agree that at times I feel like there aren’t enough guys (cute or not, single or not) who are more involved at church. Still, with some men’s ministry events in the works I think there’s hope.

    And not to rant too long about guys being intimidated, but: I would say that initially especially, it’s intimidating to ask out girl at church. I mean like PE says – it’s such a public sphere and no one really wants to have the whole church know he was rejected. Still, I believe a lot of what PE said in his “God’ Ethics of Intimacy” series. I think that as guys, as long as we’re honest, transparent and genuine we have nothing to fear. Yeah, putting yourself out there isn’t easy, but if I’m going to get ridiculed by my community for honestly letting a girl know how I feel, then what kind of community is that? I think you would still have to be wise about who all knows about it at first, since let’s be honest – we’re all human and love to talk about relationships – especially among our friends/peers. It’s not about keeping secrets, it’s just about being discreet out of respect for the girl.

    Yes, girls can be intimidating, but if there’s a girl who wouldn’t be open, transparent and honest with you about how she feels (and therefore whether or not things work out, any potential awkwardness wouldn’t last that long), then is she really worth pursuing? I guess some would also argue that if you aren’t willing to take the chance and would rather ‘settle’ for a guaranteed friendship, then you must not be that into her anyway.

    And here’s a little advice to the guys (that I could probably use myself) borrowed from the world of sports.

    “You miss 100% of the shots that you don’t take.” -Wayne Gretzky

    Remember, professional baseball players are considered AMAZING if they can get a hit 1 out of every 3 tries. And you can still make the roster batting .250. I think you just need enough quality at-bats until you hit one out of the park.

    Now don’t take this to the extreme – but from the comments here, it doesn’t look that the problem is on that end of the spectrum.

    [it looks like i ended up ranting rather long anyway. oh well.]

  14. Randall says:

    oh, I meant that “you blogged about it” comment as a joke…sorry about that! No offense taken at all. Thanks for sticking up for us PE!

    I don’t know how many other people feel like I do, but I’m 99 percent content and secure as a QSM and sometimes it’s hard for that remaining one percent to get the rest of me to work up the courage and creativity to ask someone out. And I wonder how much not having intimacy modeled for me at home affects me today.

    And this is probably asking for it but I’m going to go there anyway. With all the progress that women have made in society (and yes, there’s still a ways to go), why are guys still pretty much the only ones doing the initiating?

    …like I said, there’s lots I want to say about this and I promise to return to blogging as soon as I get some free time but in the mean time, how’s this for an idea:

    What if we add QSW and QSM to the bottom of the name tags we hand out at service? Maybe that’ll help get the ball rolling.

  15. leochen says:

    What do you call a hot girl at Quest?

  16. Jeff Roach says:

    So as a Quest C Group Leader, I have had the privilege of leading groups for the past 3 years, the last 2 years have been groups that were/are made up of 70-80% QSW (each group has had 12-15 QSW). This has given me a interesting perspective…

    These women are completely awesome, they are witty, smart and loving and the compassion that I’ve seen in each is amazing. Everyone of them has a growing relationship with God. I don’t know what QSM are looking for in perspective date/courtship relationship, but I do know that everyone of them are the raddist girls I know (outside my Wife, who of course is the raddist of all!!!).

    So QSM step out and ask a QSW out, they most likely will say yes and go from there…

    BTW when you do take them out, treat them great or we may have to talk ; )

    And if you would like to meet some great QSW come on out to the Greenwood C Group… we meet on Wednesday at 7:00 email me for more info…

  17. Linda says:

    LOL Randall, i think that would only expose the actual unbalanced number of QSWs vs QSMs there are.

    And might I also point out that for the most part, (caution: I’m opening a can of worms and reviving a dead horse) girls do initiate by giving signals that boys fail to perceive or react to. With no response, the signals stop and it’s back to the drawing board. Rebecca can attest to this topic that’s been overly discussed, but we let the boys do the active pursuing because it’s part of finding a mate who can be strong-willed/ a leader/ a confident family head and positive role model for future children. Ok maybe that’s looking a bit too far into it. But fundamentally, strong independent women need someone just as much so to balance her out. Being intimidated by her… just doesn’t cut it.

  18. Rachael says:

    This is a very entertaining post. Thank you, PE. A few thoughts, from a content (but very willing to adapt) QSW:

    Randall, you asked why, with all of the progress women have made in society, are men still expected to initiate. My honest opinion is this: I believe that women in general are beginning to realize how much the women’s movement messed up the biological and God-given roles of men and women and are ready for women to be women and men to be men again. The truth is this: whatever “progress” has been made doesn’t change the fact that every (or least every that I know) women wants a man who will pursue her. Women want to know that they are wanted and desired and pursue-able. Nothing speaks louder than that than an interested (whom she is also interested in, sorry, there is that catch) man pursuing her. Think about our relationship with God. He loved us first — he pursues a relationship with us. That type of love — a pursuant love — is mind-boggling. God pursues us and then we, His children, get the opportunity to pursue him back (just as mind-boggling!). Human relationships provide the same structure: the opportunity to pursue and be pursued in return. Because, the fact of the matter is, yes, women want to men to initiate. BUT: men, once you step up, we are more than willing to join you and pursue you right back.

    Thanks for the plug, Jeff. 😉

  19. Rebecca says:

    You call a hot girl at Quest: Frustrated.

    I have too much to say for a comment. Now you’ve gotten me going, Eugene. If you want to know what I think, you can read here: http://the-secret-life-of-daydreams.blogspot.com/

  20. Yun9 says:

    I take offense to this. I mean, George Song has got to be the hottest worship leader in the Northwest. Why else would I help on the worship team except for the eye candy.

  21. david says:

    don’t hate george b/c he’s beautiful… i know i can’t stop staring at him when he’s up on stage. 😉

  22. david says:

    thanks for hijacking my computer, george. i guess beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder.

  23. Bethany says:

    All that I have to say on the subject is this: oi…yeeeesh!

  24. leochen says:

    I keep coming back to this entry, wanting to say something clever and witty … but I fear for my life and for my car…

  25. […] and everyone likes the occasional humor on their blog.  So, I shared “a joke” called “Cute Guys” couple days ago and well, it brought out some interesting comments, emails, and potential […]

  26. […] Cho, started a fascinating discussion about church, dating, and gender roles with his blog post Cute Guys and his follow up post Cute Gals. In the original post, the pastor shares a joke about the […]

  27. […] I Kissed Reckless Dating Goodbye [in honor of all the Cute Gals and Cute Guys] […]

  28. Tina Kim says:

    I feel secure from being asked out 🙂 because I am not interested guys. Sorry.

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Window seat. For the win. As leaders, we must not see ministry and family as competing commitments.  We must not sacrifice our marriage and kids for the sake of "ministry." How can we? Loving our families IS ministry & good leadership.

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