Eugene Cho

in 2007…i will fail

resolutions.  convictions.  goals.  hopes.

not sure what you would call them.

but it’s clear to me that the fear of failure and the fear of rejection have always been forefront as reasons that impede me from moving foward with stuff. but in the recent year or so, i’ve come to peace in knowing that I will fail — and it’s going to be ok.  I’ve come to terms that i can’t please everybody — and it’s going to be ok.  there are folks that will misunderstand me, judge me, opppose me, disagree with me, and ultimately, be incredibly disappointed with me.  at times, it will be legitimate and at other times, it will be not – but, i’ve come to terms that it’s going to be ok.

in years past, these very thoughts would  have paralyzed me and it would have been difficult to MOVE.  but, it’s going to be ok.  even with the knowledge that i will fail and disappoint, it will no longer prevent me from trying.

so, in 2007…

i will not love my wife enough but i will try to love, understand, respect, protect, and honor her.  i will not spend enough time with my kids but i will try to bathe them with guidance, affection, and tender love.  my sermons will be too long, too short, too complicated, too simple, too intellectual, too soft, too abrasive, too whatever, but i will preach and teach my heart out.  i will disappoint people within my church because of many reasons but i will try to love, teach, honor, edify, mentor, and shepherd the people of my church.  i will fail in my pursuit for mercy, justice, and humility but i will try to be merciful, just, and humble.  i will fail in a life of generous stewardship but i will try and give and live generously.   i will fail in my vow of simplicity as i at times, will be consumed by a need to spend and to upgrade.   i will fail in my commitment to honor my parents because of my selfishness or to blame them in my victim’s mentality but i will try to love, honor, respect, and care for them.  i will fail in my goal to better connect, befriend, and serve my neighbors but i will try to share and learn their stories and grow to truly be neighbors. 

in 2007, i will fail.  and i don’t care, i’m still going to try.

Filed under: church, emerging church, family, seattle

8 Responses

  1. suj'n says:

    i am a huge fan of failure, pe. we are not guilty of making too many mistakes; we are guilty of making too few. and it’s the fear of failure (and thus caution) that keeps us from living freely.

    hurrah! may this year be *filled* with attempts at living life to our fullest! may we embrace the 95% failure rate with gratefulness as well as the 5% of “successes” upon which we hopefully ‘fail’ to hang our pride.

  2. more grace says:

    As always, your message touched my heart, because you are REAL. God brought this message right in time, as a birthday gift, thank you! He showed me that He rejoiced over me when I failed AND humbled myself. He showed me that He was pleased when I humbled myself as others judged me for having failed when HE thought I did NOT. I recognized that God uses all kind of tools to humble me, and with it, I have tasted the depth of His GRACE. What tastes better than that?

  3. Blake says:

    Wow, P.E. That is a wonderful post. Not to sound like I’m echoing Jeff, but I can’t think of a better word than “Wonderful”🙂

    Thanks for blessing me with these thoughts, words, and beautiful reality check.

  4. jojogaon says:

    thank you sir. respect, jojo

  5. the terlouws says:

    always learning something from you P.E.

  6. i needed to read this post more than you know… thanks… i have been anxiously waiting a new post from ya…
    sj

  7. me says:

    best post of the year.
    granted, it’s a young year.

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One Day’s Wages

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As I soaked in this breathtaking sunrise this morning above the clouds, I felt compelled to pray for so my places in America and around the world that are experiencing such pain, heartache, injustice, and violence. At times, it feels so overwhelming but in prayer, I was reminded of these words from John 16:33. As we keep striving, working, hoping, preaching, loving, truthtelling, reconciling, repenting, forgiving, dismantling, peacemaking, Kingdom building...may we fix our eyes on Christ: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33 Grateful for a very full weekend of ministry and preaching in Toronto, Canada (GTA). Such a privilege to partner with @worldvisioncan @wvcollective to advocate for the most vulnerable around the world. God is so gracious. A true honor to meet and encourage local pastors, lecture at Tyndale University & Seminary (photo), and preach at Richmond Hills Community Church, Compass Point Bible Church, and New City Church. Thank you, Lord, that you use broken and imperfect people like me to speak of Your love. Today, Minhee and I dropped off our eldest child at her college. We have been thinking and praying about this day for many years. On some days, we hoped it would never come. On other days, we couldn't wait for it to come. On some days, we prayed for time to stop and other days, we prayed with anticipation. 
After an entire summer of laughing it off, it hit us...hard...this week. Seeing all of her stuff laid out on the basement floor was the catalyst to a load of emotions.

After unloading the car and taking her stuff to her new home for this year and mindful that she might never live with us again; helping sort out her stuff, saying hello to her roommates...I wasn't sure what to do or say.

A flood of thoughts rushed my mind.

Is she ready?
Have we done enough?
Have we taught her enough? 
What if this? What if that?

And so we shared what we have shared with her the moment she began to understand words: "Remember who you are. Remember WHO you belong to. Remember what you're about. God loves you so much. Please hold God's Word and His promises close and dear to your heart. We love you so much and we are so proud of you." And with that, we said goodbye. Even if she may not be thousands of miles away, this is a new chapter for her and even for us. I kept it composed. Her roommate was staring at me. I didn't want to be that father. I have street cred to uphold. Another final hug. 
And I came home.
And I wept.
Forget my street cred.
I miss her. I love her.
She will always be my little baby.

I'm no parenting guru. I just laughed as I wrote that line. No, I'm stumbling and bumbling along but I'd love to share an ephiphany I learned not that long ago. Coming to this realization was incredibly painful but simultaneously, liberating. To be honest, it was the ultimate game-changer in my understanding as a parent seeking after the heart of God.

While there are many methods, tools, philosophies, and biblical principles to parenting, there is – in my opinion – only one purpose or destination.

Our purpose as parents is to eventually…release them. Send forth. For His glory. Met a friend and fellow pastor who I haven't seen in over 20 years. In him, I saw a glimpse of my future. While only 10 years older, his kids are married and he's now a grandfather of 3. His love for his wife and family were so evident and his passion for the Gospel has not wavered. It was so good to see someone a bit older still passionately serving the Lord with such joy and faithfulness. Lord, help me to keep running the race for your Glory. Happy wife.
Happy life. - Eugenius 3:16

I still remember that time, many years ago, when Minhee was pregnant with our first child. She had left her family and friends in Korea just two years before. Her morning sickness was horrible and when she finally had an appetite, she craved her favorite Korean food from certain restaurants in her neighborhood in Seoul, Korea. I had no way of getting that food from those restaurants so I actually said, "How about a Whopper? Big Mac?" Sorry honey. Eat away. You deserve it. I don't care if it sounds mushy but sunsets are one of my love languages. Seoul, Korea was amazing but WOW...what a breathtaking welcome back sunset by Seattle. Not ready to let go of summer.

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