resolutions. convictions. goals. hopes.
not sure what you would call them.
but it’s clear to me that the fear of failure and the fear of rejection have always been forefront as reasons that impede me from moving foward with stuff. but in the recent year or so, i’ve come to peace in knowing that I will fail — and it’s going to be ok. I’ve come to terms that i can’t please everybody — and it’s going to be ok. there are folks that will misunderstand me, judge me, opppose me, disagree with me, and ultimately, be incredibly disappointed with me. at times, it will be legitimate and at other times, it will be not – but, i’ve come to terms that it’s going to be ok.
in years past, these very thoughts would have paralyzed me and it would have been difficult to MOVE. but, it’s going to be ok. even with the knowledge that i will fail and disappoint, it will no longer prevent me from trying.
so, in 2007…
i will not love my wife enough but i will try to love, understand, respect, protect, and honor her. i will not spend enough time with my kids but i will try to bathe them with guidance, affection, and tender love. my sermons will be too long, too short, too complicated, too simple, too intellectual, too soft, too abrasive, too whatever, but i will preach and teach my heart out. i will disappoint people within my church because of many reasons but i will try to love, teach, honor, edify, mentor, and shepherd the people of my church. i will fail in my pursuit for mercy, justice, and humility but i will try to be merciful, just, and humble. i will fail in a life of generous stewardship but i will try and give and live generously. i will fail in my vow of simplicity as i at times, will be consumed by a need to spend and to upgrade. i will fail in my commitment to honor my parents because of my selfishness or to blame them in my victim’s mentality but i will try to love, honor, respect, and care for them. i will fail in my goal to better connect, befriend, and serve my neighbors but i will try to share and learn their stories and grow to truly be neighbors.
in 2007, i will fail. and i don’t care, i’m still going to try.