Eugene Cho

in 2007…i will fail

resolutions.  convictions.  goals.  hopes.

not sure what you would call them.

but it’s clear to me that the fear of failure and the fear of rejection have always been forefront as reasons that impede me from moving foward with stuff. but in the recent year or so, i’ve come to peace in knowing that I will fail — and it’s going to be ok.  I’ve come to terms that i can’t please everybody — and it’s going to be ok.  there are folks that will misunderstand me, judge me, opppose me, disagree with me, and ultimately, be incredibly disappointed with me.  at times, it will be legitimate and at other times, it will be not – but, i’ve come to terms that it’s going to be ok.

in years past, these very thoughts would  have paralyzed me and it would have been difficult to MOVE.  but, it’s going to be ok.  even with the knowledge that i will fail and disappoint, it will no longer prevent me from trying.

so, in 2007…

i will not love my wife enough but i will try to love, understand, respect, protect, and honor her.  i will not spend enough time with my kids but i will try to bathe them with guidance, affection, and tender love.  my sermons will be too long, too short, too complicated, too simple, too intellectual, too soft, too abrasive, too whatever, but i will preach and teach my heart out.  i will disappoint people within my church because of many reasons but i will try to love, teach, honor, edify, mentor, and shepherd the people of my church.  i will fail in my pursuit for mercy, justice, and humility but i will try to be merciful, just, and humble.  i will fail in a life of generous stewardship but i will try and give and live generously.   i will fail in my vow of simplicity as i at times, will be consumed by a need to spend and to upgrade.   i will fail in my commitment to honor my parents because of my selfishness or to blame them in my victim’s mentality but i will try to love, honor, respect, and care for them.  i will fail in my goal to better connect, befriend, and serve my neighbors but i will try to share and learn their stories and grow to truly be neighbors. 

in 2007, i will fail.  and i don’t care, i’m still going to try.

Filed under: church, emerging church, family, seattle

8 Responses

  1. suj'n says:

    i am a huge fan of failure, pe. we are not guilty of making too many mistakes; we are guilty of making too few. and it’s the fear of failure (and thus caution) that keeps us from living freely.

    hurrah! may this year be *filled* with attempts at living life to our fullest! may we embrace the 95% failure rate with gratefulness as well as the 5% of “successes” upon which we hopefully ‘fail’ to hang our pride.

  2. more grace says:

    As always, your message touched my heart, because you are REAL. God brought this message right in time, as a birthday gift, thank you! He showed me that He rejoiced over me when I failed AND humbled myself. He showed me that He was pleased when I humbled myself as others judged me for having failed when HE thought I did NOT. I recognized that God uses all kind of tools to humble me, and with it, I have tasted the depth of His GRACE. What tastes better than that?

  3. Blake says:

    Wow, P.E. That is a wonderful post. Not to sound like I’m echoing Jeff, but I can’t think of a better word than “Wonderful” 🙂

    Thanks for blessing me with these thoughts, words, and beautiful reality check.

  4. jojogaon says:

    thank you sir. respect, jojo

  5. the terlouws says:

    always learning something from you P.E.

  6. i needed to read this post more than you know… thanks… i have been anxiously waiting a new post from ya…
    sj

  7. me says:

    best post of the year.
    granted, it’s a young year.

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Nothing grows by itself. If something matters to us, may we be intentional about growing it.

Invest. Pray. Plant. Water. Nurture. Repeat. God sees and knows us. In fact, God knows everything about us.

Not just the good we try so hard to project but even the mess we often seek to hide.

Let this soak in: Not only are we fully known but in Christ, we are fully pursued and loved.

This is grace.
Amazing grace. Hairstyles change. Sideburn fads come and go but may our commitment to love, honor, respect, and be on mission together for Christ never waver.

Thank you, Minhee. I love you so much even if you made fun of my hairstyle and sideburns. I missed you, Seattle. Grateful for a time to pray, rest, retreat, read, reflect, and sabbath. I've spent the last 12 days in the woods alone. Competely alone. It's been both haunting and refreshing. Haunting because of loneliness. Refreshing because through the silence, I am reminded - again - that I'm not alone. Emmanuel.

Also, bought myself a cheap kayak and loving the solitude time in nature. Also, the kayak is paying instant dividends in my bass fishing game. #sabbathrest #bassfishing #catchandrelease There's nothing selfish about rest and self-care. We can't give what we don't have. Experience life and we'll be life-giving to others. Amen.

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