Eugene Cho

“A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers.”

On February 1, 1997, Minhee and I exchanged vows and committed ourselves to Christ, one another, our families and community –  the journey of loving, serving, and growing as followers of Christ and as husband and wife – in mutual submission to one another.

Today, we celebrate our 15th anniversary.

Wow. 15 years of love, mutual submission, forgiveness, and love.

I know that it is customary [and wise] to speak well of your spouse on your anniversary but Minhee truly is an expression and embodiment of God’s grace and beauty to my life. Our marriage – while clearly not perfect – remains focused on the three pillars I often share with others:

Passion.  Vision.  Mission.

Here’s our wedding photo that still continues to amaze people. Minhee looks her usual photogenic self and I’ve been told I look “very different” - so different that people ask if it’s her “first husband.” Read the rest of this entry »

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pat robertson: ’til death do us part?

I don’t want this entry to come out like a Pat Robertson bashing session. One of these days, I’ll share one of the most amazing stories I’ve heard about Pat Robertson. It humbled me…but another time.

I’ve had my difficulties and personal wrestling with figures like Pat Robertson. Many years ago, I was invited to do some sort of interview taping for the 700 Club show but turned it down because well…I just couldn’t do it. While I wouldn’t mind meeting, talking, and chatting over coffee or some Vietnamese noodles, I just wasn’t up to do an interview on “the Club.”

Why? Because I strongly disagreed with him about some of his outrageous comments about political assassinations, September 11, and his “pact with the devil” comments about Haiti post-earthquake. In fact, my post in response to Pat Robertson’s Haiti comments were amongst the most read on my blog.

But his recent comments on his show (here for those on RSS) about marriage and Alzheimers was absolutely incredulous. I really wanted to think some ultra right-wing extremist did some sort of audio/video-shopping of this video. Read the rest of this entry »

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a tribute to my imperfect wife and best friend

In Asian culture, it’s usually customary not to speak highly of yourself, and even more so, to speak highly of your spouse.

In this case,  I can’t help it. In fact, I have and make no apologies.  I think it’s more than appropriate to celebrate a special person in my life –  my partner, wife, and best friend.  I am amazed and encouraged by my wife, Minhee – even more so after 15 years of marriage – and mutually seeing all of our collective flaws and blemishes.

And there are a lot of flaws and blemishes. More with her than me…but I digress. This is a tribute and not a roast. ;)

This last week, we celebrated Minhee’s graduation from Seattle Pacific University as she completed her graduate school degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. To say that it has been an arduous journey is an understatement but she is finished!

In our marriage and family, people naturally see me because of my visible role in numerous capacities. If I am the face of our family (and not a pretty one at that), she is certainly the heart.

And oh, how she beats…

Not only do I love her but…I know her – and I respect her deeply:

Love.

She left all that was familiar and comfortable in Korea to trek to the United States to begin our new life together – at the difficult adult age of 26.  She left family, friends,  her native language, culture, her job, etc. She left everything out of love and covenant to begin our lives anew in a new and foreign land.   Read the rest of this entry »

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beauty and the beast: 14th anniversary

On February 1, 1997, Minhee and I exchanged vows and committed ourselves to Christ, one another, our families and community –  the journey of loving, serving, and growing as husband and wife, father and mother, and mutual followers of Christ.

Today, we celebrate our 14th anniversary.

I know that it is customary [and wise] to speak well of your spouse on your anniversary but Minhee truly is an expression and embodiment of God’s grace and beauty to my life. Our marriage – while clearly not perfect – remains focused on the three pillars I often share with others:

Passion.  Vision.  Mission.

Here’s our wedding photo that still continues to amaze people. Minhee looks her usual photogenic self and I’ve been told I look “very different” - so different that people ask if it’s her “first husband.” Read the rest of this entry »

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facebook & adultery?

Last week, a pastor in New Jersey, Rev. Cedric Miller, made somewhat global news by his edict to many couples in his congregation to delete their Facebook accounts as he witnessed evidence that FB was ruining marriages since it was a “portal to infidelity.”

The news – in itself – was fascinating and worth discussing but unfortunately, the story got a little more sensational (in a bad way) as news surfaced that the pastor engaged in some inappropriate relationships in his personal past.

In court testimony he gave in April 2003, Miller said his wife had an extramarital affair with the church assistant. Miller said he participated in many of the sexual encounters and said the assistant’s wife was sometimes present, too.

Miller said the dalliances — which occurred in the Millers’ home — sometimes took place during Thursday Bible study meetings and Sundays after church. But the minister said the encounters “came to a crashing halt” when several women in the church accused the assistant of having sex with them. [yahoo news]

What? Huh? I’m not even sure how to respond to this so I won’t… Read the rest of this entry »

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reason #17,251 why i respect my wife

I don’t have a perfect marriage. I am not perfect. Minhee, my wife, is not perfect as well.

We have shared some of our mistakes in our marriage. I share about my funk. But having said all of this, we love one another and live by grace within the covenant of marriage…

I also respect and admire her for so many things. Some of them include her gentleness, humility, and…her sense of humor. I walked into our bedroom last Sunday with her doing her facial mask thing (which she rarely does). It made me laugh since it kind of scared me.  I took a picture and when I threatened to post in on Facebook, she responded:

“You should. People need to laugh and enjoy life.”

After I posted the picture (below), many commenters freaked out Read the rest of this entry »

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the 3 biggest mistakes i’ve made in marriage

In the recent months, the other pastors and I have been teaching on the numerous aspects and layers of relationships. And recently, I had the nervous but enjoyable experience of teaching with my wife, Minhee, as we shared about our marriage.

On the blog, I’ve recently shared my Top 10 Wedding Advice and Top 10 Marriage Advice. During our sermon, we shared our answers to the following questions:

  • Three things Minhee would like to share with all the husbands at Quest and three things I’d share with all the wives at our church.
  • Three biggest mistakes we’ve made in our marriage. We each shared our own.
  • Three things we appreciate the most of one another.
  • And some final exhortations including the key to our marriage: “Bless one another.”

Several years ago, I wouldn’t have had the guts to have my wife teach alongside me – especially about our marriage. Not that our marriage is a mess in any way but I was more interested in projecting a certain image of who and what I thought I should be as a pastor – especially as the lead pastor. But when you’re a few months shy of 40 years old, you don’t care Read the rest of this entry »

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top 10 marriage advice

Well, it would only make sense to follow up the list of my Top 10 Wedding advice by sharing with you my Top 10 marriage advice. And eventually, I should go back and share my list of dating advice.

Minhee and I have been married for nearly 14 years and we’ve learned so much. I also promise to share our “biggest mistakes.” Anyway, I’m not Dr. Phil or Dr. Gottman but here’s my Top 10 Marriage advice or rather, my 9 advice and a request for you to contribute:

1. Expectations

  • In dating and courtship and in the decision to life together, you’re ultimately agreeing to certain expectations. Not expectations of perfection but expectations of who, what, where, when, and why.  Marriage – not in a contractual way  but in a covenant way is an honoring of those expectations…
  • Which is why it’s so important that you marry the “right” person and continue “being” the right person. Read the rest of this entry »

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my top 10 wedding advice

hage1.jpg

In the past few months, I’ve been doing a lot of teaching at my church on dating, relationships, and marriage. Later, I’ll share with you some of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in my marriage but today, I want to share my top 10 wedding advice – both the preparation & day of the “event”.  Marriage is biblical but the wedding industry is one of the most undiscussed idolatries of our society in my opinion. It’s so easy to get sucked in so here’s some advice to consider:

  1. Be the right person. Read the rest of this entry »

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theology of singlehood 4 – don’t kiss dating good-bye and the most important things…

In my final message on a theology of singlehood, I share thoughts about:

  • Having faith vs allowing cynicism and pessimism to rule over us.
  • The importance of wisdom.

But most of the sermon is focused on two main areas:

Don’t kiss dating good-bye meaning that I’m a fan of Christians dating but Read the rest of this entry »

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theology of singlehood part 3

In one of my recent sermons, I answer the question, “What do you do when you’re not called to be single but can’t find anyone? What do you do?”

“In the third part of his Theology of Singlehood series, Pastor Eugene speaks to those who are single but do not feel called to be. With sensitivity and empathy, he exhorts them to wait with faith and to resist the pull towards hopelessness and cynicism. In addition, he offers up a number of active steps that singles can practice as they wait in faith.”

Some encouragements: Read the rest of this entry »

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theology of singlehood II and the “big question”

Here’s part 2 of my sermons on a theology of singlehood as part of a larger series on Relationships.  As you listen/watch the sermon,  I do have a question and would love to get some feedback. It’s the most prominent question I’ve received over the past couple weeks as I’ve taught on singlehood:

You say that singlehood is a choice and a response to God’s revelation. I agree in part but what if it’s NOT a choice. What do you do when you’re single not by choice but because there’s no one out there. What do you do?

The above question is what I’ll be teaching on over the next couple weeks along with the importance of focusing and investing on the three primary aspects: passion, vision, and mission. But how would you pastorally answer that question above?

Here’s the description of the above sermon (articulated by our video/audio staff lead: Mr. Randor 2K): Read the rest of this entry »

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beauty and the beast – 13 years

anniversary2

On February 1, 1997, Minhee and I exchanged vows and committed ourselves to Christ, one another, our families and community –  the journey of loving, serving, and growing as husband and wife, father and mother, and mutual followers of Christ.  Today, we celebrate our 13th anniversary.  I know that it is customary [and wise] to speak well of your spouse on your anniversary but Minhee truly is an expression and embodiment of God’s grace and beauty to my life. Our marriage – while clearly not perfect – remains focused on the three pillars I often share with others:  Passion.  Vision.  Mission.

We met in Korea and dated for a week before I returned to the States. We engaged in many phone calls and probably exchanged over a thousand letters since we both weren’t using this technology called ‘electronic mail.’ Just in case some of you don’t know what letters are…it’s when you put a pen to paper and write.

And while people boast of their marriage proposal stories, I’m pretty sure mine is the most romantic and unique:

The summer before our wedding [while I was still a student in seminary in New Jersey], I put on my best suit, got on my knees, picked up the phone to call Minhee in Korea, and in my best Korean drama voice…asked her to marry me. :)

Here’s our wedding photo that still continues to amaze people. Minhee looks her usual photogenic self and I’ve been told I look “very different” – so different that people ask if it’s her “first husband.” Read the rest of this entry »

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the most difficult year of my life

Since everything is so current, I may be biased but 2009 has been one of the most (if not the most) difficult year of my life – and yet, incredibly formative for the reasons I share below.

How was this past year for you?

As part of our human inclination and disposition, we make plans and we do all that we can to pursue those plans. Things turn bad when some of those plans don’t come to pass. Things suck when everything feels it’s moving in the opposite trajectory of what you hoped for.

In their hearts human beings plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9

To list a few challenging things in 2009: Read the rest of this entry »

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i’m going to ground my son for life

My son is 6 years old. He’s the youngest of three kids.  This week, he had the following conversation with my wife (while I wasn’t there):

Son: Mom, can I marry you? Read the rest of this entry »

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if i were jon and kate’s pastor

John&Kate-hawaii-vows

Since I was intending to write some posts on marriage, dating, and some other issues related to relationships in the coming month, I thought I’d share a few personal thoughts about Jon & Kate’s announcement to proceed with divorce and end their marriage.  Umm, this despite saying I wasn’t going to blog about them.  Just this once.

Last night’s show was the first full show I’ve seen. I’ve seen snippets here and there. For whatever reason, I remember the episode where they were at church, sharing their story in front of their church community with their pastor, and recounting God’s faithfulness in their lives.

And now, it’s come to this…  Last night’s announcement had no mention of God, covenant, church, community, or prayer. I wonder what kind of pastoral/spiritual care and counseling they are seeking and receiving. So, let me ask you:

If you were in Jon & Kate’s community group or was their pastor, how would you advise/counsel them?

I have no personal feelings for the Gosselins since I have no relationship with them but it is indeed sad to see their marriage exposed and explode in the public arena of reality TV. Let me also say that I really have no idea about all the details and gossip. I just know stuff is going on because of the buzz and all the magazine & tabloid covers. But I wanted to share three simple things with them if I was Jon and Kate’s pastor and was approached for counsel: Read the rest of this entry »

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your favorite chick flicks?

chick flicks

We’ve discussed some heavy issues recently on the blog so I’d like to change the pace and post something light and talk movies. Who doesn’t like to talk movies?

Last year, I asked a question about the movies that have influenced you the most and why and wow, there were some incredible comments and recommendations. I followed many of your recommendations and enjoyed many of them.

My wife and I have different preferences in films. Me like (grunt) Action and (beating chest) Sci-Fi films.  And so, she takes one for the team to watch those films but I guess I need to do my part so I ask you this important question in an effort to invest in our marriage.

What are your favorite chick flicks?

In addition to “regulars” sharing their answers, I am especially inviting the lurkers and quiet blog readers to chime in. This is your chance to join in and become one of the cool people.

Here’s what I can bear watching: Read the rest of this entry »

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12 years and counting

anniversary2

On February 1, 1997, Minhee and I exchanged vows and committed ourselves to Christ, one another, our family and community –  the journey of loving, serving, and growing as husband and wife.  Today, we celebrate our 12th anniversary.  I know that it is customary [and wise] to speak well of your spouse on your anniversary but Minhee truly is an expression and embodiment of God’s grace and beauty to my life. Our marriage – while clearly not perfect – remains focused on the three pillars I often share with others:  Passion.  Vision.  Mission. [another blogpost]

We met in Korea and dated for a week before I returned to the States. We engaged in many phone calls and probably exchanged over a thousand letters since we both weren’t using this technology called ‘electronic mail.’  

And while people boast of their marriage proposal stories, I’m pretty sure mine is the most romantic and unique:  

The summer before our wedding [while I was still a student in seminary in New Jersey], I put on my best suit, got on my knees, picked up the phone to call Minhee in Korea, and in my best Korean drama voice…asked her to marry me. :)

Here’s our wedding photo that still continues to amaze people. Minhee looks her usual photogenic self and I’ve been told I look “very different.” Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: family,

stuff, connect, info

one day’s wages | video

my tweets

  • Beautiful how the citizens of Moore, Oklahoma are caring & serving one another.Thank you for showing us what it means to love your neighbor. || 10 hours ago
  • Thrilled to see ODW's micro-grant to @TheSoldProject fully funded. Prevention is key to fighting human trafficking: onedayswages.org/donate/org/sol… || 10 hours ago
  • "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed." ~ Psalm 34:18 || 21 hours ago
  • To anyone who's thinking of saying something to link the Oklahoma tornado & God's wrath: Be wise. Don't do it. It's the last thing we need. || 21 hours ago
  • In Seoul, Korea (my birthplace) for couple days.Walking around and remembering Oklahoma & North… instagram.com/p/ZlDPo4yWW7/ || 21 hours ago
  • To anyone who's thinking of saying something about the Oklahoma tornado & God's judgement: DON'T DO IT. It's the last & worst thing we need. || 1 day ago
  • Right now as we tweet, there are people in Moore, OK - young and old - that are trapped and fighting for their lives. #PrayForOklahoma || 1 day ago
  • Let's put love in action. PRAY for everyone impacted.SERVE for those that can go. GIVE to trusted orgs & local OK churches. #PrayForOklahoma || 1 day ago

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