Have you heard of Pastor Fashion?

Yes, this is real. For realz. Fo shizzle.

Granted, at first view, I didn’t think it was real but some smart satire or at least  some sort of bad church version of Punked. And then you realize it’s real and then, you don’t know if you should laugh or cry or repent or pray or go shopping or all of the above.

Honestly, I’m not trying to be a hater. The creator of Pastor Fashion, Pastor Ed Young, seems to be a great guy and a fabulous leader but I’m just not feeling it.

But maybe you are.

What do you think?

Here’s the vision of Pastor Fashion:

Pastors aren’t typically known for their fashion. Most people don’t think of the runway leading up to the pulpit. But why not?! Why can’t the men and women of God set the standard for the rest of the world in fashion as well as faith? That’s why we’re launching PastorFashion.com. We want to set the trends.

Check back with us regularly, as we’ll be posting things like what not to wear, fashion tips, the latest trends and so much more!

We’re not trying to be like the world…we just want to be fashionable while we try to change it! Have fashion tips, things you’ve seen done (whether right or wrong)? This is the place we’ll keep the conversation going and the trends growing!

I have couple things to say:

1. Pastors like everyone else have a level of vanity. You might not think that I do based on the same jeans I wear for about 30 straight days but I do. I admit that I can be vain.

But the truth is we’re all vain. We might not have our own website but we are vain. Look in the mirror and tell me you’re not vain.

Only two people weren’t vain in my opinion: Jesus and John the Baptizer.

Jesus was perfect so that’s just not a fair example so John the Baptizer gets the winner for most humble and least vain. The dude practically wore nothing and ate bugs. Ding Ding: We have a winner.

2. We’re not always called to be trendy or trendsetters.

Sometimes, we can try so hard to be so relevant that we become completely irrelevant.

Makes sense?

3. Lastly, I think I need intervention. I need fashion help. Maybe I can get PastorFashion to fly me out to Texas and do me a makeover.

Here’s proof:

My attempt for Asian Jesus or Asian John the Baptizer. Seriously, this is what my natural hair looks like in humidity when I don’t control it with gel.

This was Wednesday. Of this week. Holey am I.

I like this look personally. Darth Vadar for a cause.

My worst fashion faux pas. At an incredibly important and high-profile speaking engagement, the TEDxSeattle, I came out and did most of my 18 minute chat with my jacket buttoned up the wrong way. I had no idea. I thought folks were laughing because I was so compelling. And my wife was in the audience and she was the most embarrassed. Sorry honey!

Yup, I really embarrass my kid someday but doing superhero work is not easy.

I could include another picture of me preaching at a conference with my zipper down but I do have some pride and dignity.

First of all, if it’s not clear by my name or by the facial hair on my face, I’m not a girl.

Now that we’ve got that cleared up, you might be wondering why I’m writing a post entitled, “When girls bully girls and women bully women.”

I’m doing so because it’s causing…

great pain and damage.

Bullying happens in many places and happens in both genders. By writing about girls and women, I’m not implying that it happens only among girls or women because that would simply not be true but what I’m discovered as a pastor is that more women than men (by far) are negatively impacted by the bullying they’ve encountered in their younger years as an adolescent, teenager, or even as a college student. In fact, you could also host a conversation about how this translates to how adult women treat other adult women. For example, there’s competition, envy, and jealousy among Career Women and of course, there’s the “Mommy Wars.”

But, let’s focus on young women for now:

• Did you know that a girl is bullied every 7 minutes in America?
• Almost 1/3 of girls are directly involved in bullying – and on a regular basis. About 77% of students have been verbally bullied in some way.
• 43% of girls fear harassment in school bathrooms.

And the numbers go on.

Recently, I had a long conversation with one of my daughters about how she was doing. I was stunned that she recalled – in such a graphic and precise manner – a very painful memory of some girls verbally “bullying” her and isolating her because she looked different (as an Asian). The incident took place over 4 years ago!

In my now 21 years of ministry, there’s been a consistent trend of pain and scars due to past and current forms of “bullying.” While I don’t want to make a sweeping generalization, this is one way how boys and girls and men and women can differ in how they go about ‘bullying’ -

Bullying as Emotional Violence

Girls bully by using emotional violence. They do things that make others feel alienated and alone. Some of the tactics used by girls who bully include:

• anonymous prank phone calls or harassing emails from dummy accounts
• playing jokes or tricks designed to embarrass and humiliate
• deliberate exclusion of other kids for no real reason
• whispering in front of other kids with the intent to make them feel left out
• name calling, rumor spreading and other malicious verbal interactions
• being friends one week and then turning against a peer the next week with no incident or reason for the alienation
• encouraging other kids to ignore or pick on a specific child
• inciting others to act out violently or aggressively (source)

What do you think?

Agree or disagree?
Is this over-hyped?
Do you have any personal stories?

Healing and Finding Kindness

“Jessica’s Story”

Girl bullying has been a part of my life since I can remember. My most vivid memories of times where I felt the emotional and psychological hurt of bullying and inflicted that upon others was during my middle school years.

At age 11 (sixth grade), I still had the luxury of recess but honestly I hated it with all my heart. This year I remember aching to be a part of a group of girls who hung out every recess but whose whole existence revolved around ostracizing other girls. I was new to the school and the summer before I had been what I considered “best friends” with the lead of this group of girls.

This group was all blonde-haired and blue-eyed girls, which obviously was the way you were supposed to look but I having long brown-black hair and brown eyes I was not going to fit. It would have been different (I am not going to say acceptable) if this group of girls had just told me to go away, make some fun of my hair, and not allow me to hang out with them. But that is not how this type of bullying works.  The girls (including my best friend) would invite me to hang out with them at recess and maybe even pretend to be my friends for a few days before ditching me at a moments notice or making up some reason they could no longer hang out with me. Some of the reasons: my hair did not match theirs; my name has now been considered a bad word and they would get in trouble with the teachers for saying it, buying the wrong color Adidas jacket, and spreading to the entire school that I was a witch (in a predominantly white school, I was the only one with long black hair).  The group would then literally run and hide from me anytime I went to go find them… a harsh reality, which resulted in me skipping recess. I remember coming home weekly and crying to my parents about how I didn’t have any friends. It never occurred to me to try and make other friends because the effect this type of bullying has puts the pedestal on the bullies, that they are the only ones worthy of being friends.

In 7^th grade this same group finally accepted me and I came running in an instant (like I said the bullies are the only ones worthy of friendship). But things in this culture of girl bullying don’t change, and sad to say that I then engaged in bullying another girl the EXACT same way that I was during that year. I look back and feel disgusted with myself for being a part of this cycle.  Before, the end of the year I realized what I was doing and made friends with the girl being bullied and still talk to her to this day. I am no longer friends’ with this group of girls but know they had a lasting effect on other parts of my life.

It would be a sad story to just hear about this type of bullying but the real effect is the hurt that girls carry with them in response. The effect for me resulted in extremely low confidence in my teenage years and an inability to trust many of the circles of friends that I made. I remember still having the idea of blonde-hair and blue eyes being engrained (for many reasons, but one I attribute to this group of girls) as the epitome of beauty and hating the way I look. I remember dying my hair blonde and researching colored eye contacts and saving my allowance for them.

There have been countless other times in my life where I have felt the effect of bullying in my life including today. I believe that this is an important topic to discuss because we are created to live in a community that builds each other up and I know the power of female friendship, now from experience, can overcome hurt that this broken world brings.

It’s been couple weeks since my last post. I’ve been meaning to write numerous posts – all incredible and brilliant posts (in my mind at least). I start but can never finish. It’s just been that kind of time where my heart and mind has wandered to other places.

Namely, they have wandered to health issues of one of my children.

While I need to be careful what I share and how I share it (for the sake of honoring my child’s privacy), I thought it would be good – for my own sake – to share a bit of my heart and thoughts when a parent cries for their child and a when a parent comes to the painful admission that he or she just can’t fix everything.

When a parent cries for their child.

You see, I have cried on many occasions over the years. There are times I cry alone. There are times I cry with my wife. There are times I cry with my sick child.

The past few months have been particularly difficult and heartwrenching as Minhee and I seek to care for this child that’s had life-long struggles with severe food allergies, eczema, and everything in between.

I know. I know what some of you are thinking.

Really? Tears over food allergies and eczema?

I know. Sounds so timid in comparison to the plight of others who are suffering from more arduous struggles but when it comes to a sick child:

It doesn’t matter. It hurts like a _______.

It’s been painfully tough because it’s been life long. While we’ve hoped and prayed for healing over the years, we continue to hope and wait. We’ve consulted doctors, dermatologists, natural herbalists, acupuncturists, faith healers, etc. We’ve spent significant resources on ointment, medicine, pills, tests, and then more stuff.

We’ve adjusted our child’s diet in order to avoid eggs, nuts, gluten, soy, wheat, and corn.

When your child begins to see herself not through the eyes of God or her parents that love her but through the gossip, snickering, and judgments of others…they add to the tears of this parent.

When a parent can’t fix things

This.

This is the hardest admission.

For me, I like to fix things. I can do many things. I’ve accomplished many things: I can plant churches, start cafes and music venues, start non-profits and movements, raise millions of dollars to enable empowerment and projects, get written about in the NY Times and various media publication, and be invited to meet the President of the United States…

I can do a lot of things. I feel like I can change the world…

and yet, I can’t fix my own child.

Oh, how I’ve longed, tried, prayed, and desired to make it all better. To fix it and make it all better.

I just repeated myself inadvertently but it only shows the longing of my heart to fix and heal my child’s woes and make it all better.

But I can’t….and it hurts so much.

Learning to surrender to a God

Ultimately, this is what Minhee and I (and our child) keep learning again and again.  As much as we love our child and all our children, we genuinely believe we worship a God who loves them infinitely more – beyond our comprehension.

And so, our life is a journey where we grow in our trust and learn to surrender. Sometimes, we take stumble, fall, and take a few steps back but again and again, we’re reminded of God’s mercy, grace, and love.

I pray. I believe. I know that God can and will use this to strengthen our child and our family. It will help build character and strength. It will help build empathy and compassion.

It will. God will.

My wife and I not only learn about God but we’ve learned so much about one another but especially about the heart and character of our children. And when we think it’s impossible to love our children more, we experience the impossible.

And love her and all our children even more.

This only makes us wonder and consider the sheer depth and vastness of God’s love for humanity.

And this humbles us and compels us.

‘Stronger’

I saw this video featuring a song entitled “Stronger” this past week created  with some patients at Children’s Hospital in Seattle.

Beautiful stuff.

I cried even more.

I prayed for strength for all the children I saw in this video. I prayed for those not in this video who are sick. I prayed for their parents.

Strength and courage. Covered in love.

Amen.

I clicked it and saw the image and in a split second, I wished I had NEVER clicked to read the article and of course, the accompanying “award winning” photograph. I wish I had a sudden blue screen, or back stalking on Facebook, or watching my Netflix, or laughing at some idiot on the Fail Blog, or perhaps some  beautiful and heartwarming image of local Africans smiling from ear to ear at their new clean water well…

Tthose were my initial thoughts.

Understand? My thoughts were to escape this reality and pain rather than entering in to better or more deeply understand the story and pain.

If you do click and see the image, what were your first thoughts?

How do you respond to such utter pain?

This image will be now with me forever. While I missed this image when it was first captured on December 6, 2011, it will be with me forever.

So, I warn you…before you click “read more” … know that you will be disturbed.

While my intent in sharing this photograph isn’t for the purposes of “shock and awe”, I think that all of us need reminders (however they come) of the broken and fallen world that we live in. While we clearly need to reminded of the other spectrum of beauty and hope, it’s possible that sometime we limit our view of the world to “I am so blessed”…that we forget we live in a fallen, broken, and evil world and that we have work to do. I say this not to be a voice of fatalism or utter hopelessness but a reminder that the world is not what it ought to be and that God promises to restores all things but we have to be a part of that work. And as such, we not only rely on God and the mercy and grace of God, but we must commit ourselves to Peace, Hope, and Love.

Restoration

As a Christian, I long for the return of Christ as He restores all things but till then, we partner with God to work towards that restoration.

As for the photographer Hossaini, he is fortunate to be alive. He was “just yards away” when the bomb – via a suicide bomber – went off on December 6, 2011 in Kabul, Afghanistan. The bomb killed anywhere from 54 to 70+ people (depending on sources).

“First of all I should say that I’m so happy and excited to be the first Afghan to win a Pulitzer,” said Hossaini. “I cannot sleep even. Also, I’m humbled to be an Afghan who can be a voice for the painful life and moments, which people have here. I know that whoever sees this photo will think about the photographer but I hope they don’t forget the pain Afghanistan’s people have in their life.”

Don’t escape. Sit in this pain.

I invite you and challenge you to sit in this pain, discomfort, and brokenness and ask you to join me and others in not only praying but living out our lives as peacemakers and reconcilers. Click on the image. Sit with it. Stay wit hit. Cry with it. Be angry. Look at the faces – recognized or unrecognized – of each baby, child or person in the high resolution photograph.

But I ask you…don’t escape it.

The young girl’s name in the center of the photograph is 12-year-old Afghan girl, Tarana Akbari. Here’s some important context to the photograph:

It was the Shia Muslim festival of Ashura, the day Shias mourn for Imam Hossain, their third imam and the grandson of Prophet Muhammad.

The imam was killed with his family during a war in 680 CE.

To mark the day, children wear green dresses to show their sympathy with the imam’s children, who were also killed.

Taraneh, the girl in the photograph, “had begged her parents to get her a green dress for Ashura”, Massoud Hossaini, the 30-year-old photographer, told the BBC.

Though the family is not wealthy, they granted her wish.

It was the green dress that attracted Hossaini’s attention at the start of the festival, a parade through the streets of Kabul.

Shortly after, a suicide bomber sat down in the middle of the crowd and blew himself up.

In sitting with this image for a bit this morning, I was reminded of couple quotes:

“Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called the children of God.” – Jesus 

“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.” – Einstein

“Wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

I don’t know how quite to write this appropriately but click on the image if you want to view it in high resolution.

“Lord, have mercy…”

Hello people. Eugene Cho the Reviewer is back. You hated my last review of Mark Driscoll’s book, Real Marriage, so I’m trying again with my endeavors to be a world class reviewer and thus, I am writing a review for the movie, Blue Like Jazz, based on Donald Miller‘s book…Blue Like Jazz. Love how those matching titles work.

Let me first say that I have yet to see the film but since we’re living in a day and age where people are inclined to write reviews about books they have yet to read, I say what the heck. As much as I want to say I’ll see the film very soon, I can’t make any promises. Why? I haven’t been to a movie theater in several years. I honestly think that the last movie I saw a movie in the theaters was The Lord of the Rings. Ages ago.

To my defense, I have read the book although it took me several months because my bad reading habit is to pick up at least a dozen books to read at the same time. To Donald’s credit, I mostly read dead people so it’s not to say that I want him to have a short life, it caught my attention enough to pick it up even though I know (and hope) he’s very healthy and in the middle of a long life.

Let me also say that I quasi-know Don Miller. Not super well by any means but we’ve exchanged tweets here and there and we actually had an intimate dinner together – along with 30 other people in Chicago. But we sat next to each other but both of us sat across Dr. John Perkins and let’s be honest, neither of us cared about sitting next to each other because we were sitting across Dr. Perkins and we were both ga-ga for Dr. Perkins. And if you’re wondering, we had Chicago pizza which was good but nothing compared to the nuggets of wisdom Dr. Perkins was dropping all night long.

So, I’ve got a few thoughts to share – not necessarily specifically about this film (since I haven’t seen the film) but just the general vibe of the film (and the various conversations I hear over the interwebs) and the general intersection between the spiritual and secular – if there is even such a distinction.

Here goes some random thoughts about what Blue Like Jazz teaches us about creating a better story:

First, two thumbs up:

In honor of the greatest movies critics the world has ever known (that would be Siskel & Ebert for you young folks), I am giving “two thumbs up” to this film just as I gave two thumbs up Rob Bell about his news of going Hollywood to help create a new TV show on ABC called Stronger.

Why? Because creating art, taking chances, stirring conversations…are all lost art. And it ought to be commended.

Knowing the Context of the Book

The criticism I’ve heard of the book (mostly and by default, the film, presumably) is that it’s not a very robust theological book. That would be an incredibly fair and pointed critique…if the book was meant to be a theological book or an offering under ‘biblical studies’. But, it’s not…it’s a novel in semi-quasi-autobiographical narrative form. I’m not saying it’s a devilish book but it’s not a theological book a la Calvin’s Institutes.

Context and intent are pretty apropos.

In doing an interview with a reporter several weeks ago for an article that was posted in various places including the Washington Post, I explained why I “liked” the book. It not only dealt with the “what” of the content but “how” the content was conveyed:

Eugene Cho, 41, the lead pastor of Quest Church in Seattle, understands the appeal.

“Even if you might not agree with everything, there’s something about how the author, Donald Miller, is really welcoming people into conversation and thought that really appeals to people,” he said.

Miller hopes the movie has similar impact as the book, showing people they aren’t alone in difficult spiritual struggles.

“There are other people who deal with these things: the space between the church and the world, the pulls from either side,” he said. “Not just the church and the world, between a mom and dad, between love and sex, between faith and doubt. All those places. More people than we know live in those spaces.”

Cho sees another message encouraging all Americans, not just religious people, to interact with groups different than themselves.

“We tend to live in this very polarized world and we’re seeing this more so in this election season,” he said. “Particularly from a religious point of view, we tend to eventually gather with those who think like us, look like us, feel like us. It doesn’t do us any good.”

There’s space for commas and question marks in good art:

Hmm. I’ve heard there’s sort of a quasi-war of words between various filmmakers behind your traditional, overt Christian movies and the creators of Blue Like Jazz – which is not your traditional, overt Christian movie.

This sort of stuff makes me wonder why some Christians are inclined to think that there’s only one way to communicate something; one way to do music; one perspective of theology; one way to do art; one way to understand Jesus; one way to do church; one way to write … and one way to do film making around Christian themes.

Thank God that art can’t be isolated into one box or one expression. Hopefully, whatever we do, there’s a commitment to not just ‘content’ but how we convey that content.

One could contend that “Christian art” demands for happy endings, clear storylines, order, and appropriate conclusions…and sometimes, I wonder if our marriage to such conclusions exclude us from the journey of compelling artmaking.

Commas and Questions Marks are sometimes okay rather than Periods and Exclamation Marks.

Or in other words,

do we have a finalized conclusion and then make art to help justify that conclusion? Is that good art?

From a preacher’s viewpoint: Do we have a conclusion and then look for a bible passage to help us make our point or conclusion or do we really allow the narrative of the Scriptures to speak, disturb, inform, and transform us?

We shouldn’t be asking if we’re artists or not. We’re all artists in some manner or another. To my point, stories are a form of art. We’re all creating, living, and communicating stories and thus, we’re all artists. So, a more compelling and accurate question would be: “What kind of art are we creating?” and “What kind of artists are we?”

Create. a. Better. Story.

We love to knock on Hollywood and all that “junk” it creates and blah blah blah. I certainly do. We criticize and then wonder why Christians can’t create compelling art blah blah blah.

Boom. Here’s an attempt. Just in the same manner I gave kudos to Rob Bell in helping create a different story, I’m giving props to Donald Miller and the director, Steve Taylor

It’s easy to criticize. We all do it. We criticize the moral decay and decline of society, art and culture. Or we get on our enlightened Christian horses and criticize cheezy Christian art and artists.

Been there and done that. Criticizing that is.

A great antidote to receiving criticism is not more criticism or returning criticsm. Rather, it’s to create something more beautiful and compelling. Don’t tell us what you’re against. Show us something different. Compel us. Create a better story. Invite us into that story.

Enough of my ramblings. Your thoughts?

• Did you like the book?
• Are you planning on watching the movie?
• Is there such a thing as Christian art?

Dear friends, readers, strangers, and blog stalkers: I try to be careful with overly extreme outrageous over-the-top superlatives but the story of Caine’s Arcade and its 9-year-old founder, Caine, might be one of the greatest things I’ve ever read or seen.

This story of not judging a book by its cover was cool, too, but wow…this is amazing. No joke.

First, do yourself a HUGE favor and watch the video. I guarantee it’ll be worth your 11 minutes or I will pay you $2 for your very own “Fun Pass” (this will make sense later). Money back guarantee.

Who is Caine and what is Caine’s Arcade?

Caine Monroy is a 9-year old boy who spent his summer vacation building an elaborate DIY cardboard arcade in his dad’s used auto parts store.

Caine dreamed of the day he would have lots of customers visit his arcade, and he spent months preparing everything, perfecting the game design, making displays for the prizes, designing elaborate security systems, and hand labeling paper-lunch-gift-bags. However, his dad’s autoparts store (located in an industrial part of East LA) gets almost zero foot traffic, so Caine’s chances of getting a customer were very small, and the few walk in customers that came through were always in too much of a hurry to get their auto part to play Caine’s Arcade. But Caine never gave up.

One day, by chance, I walked into Smart Parts Auto looking for a used door handle for my ’96 Corolla. What I found was an elaborate handmade cardboard arcade manned by a young boy who asked if I would like to play. I asked Caine how it worked and he told me that for $1 I could get two turns, or for $2 I could get a Fun Pass with 500 turns. I got the Fun Pass. (via Caine’s Arcade)

Here are my 10 random thoughts:

1. This is awesome. This is awesome. This is awesome.
2. I love Caine’s smile.
3. I love his father. Our kids need fathers and mothers. Parents and parent figures that encourage, edify, empower, and build up.
4. The arcade truly is ingenious. Brilliant. Incredible. So smart. So detailed.
5. I would totally go and play at his arcade. And of course, I’d get the “Fun Pass.”
6. Forget Instagram. This guy is going to do some something crazy someday.
7. I love the storytelling. Props. And I love that there’s a college fund started for Caine. On the 1st day that this video was released and a college fund set up, they raised $25,000
8. Regarding #7, I gave a few bucks towards his college fund. I feel like it’ll one of the best investments I make.
9. I want to show this to every single child and teenager (and for that matter: even grown ups) who are spending way too many hours on the internet, watching  youtube, LOL catz, watching television, and glued to their gadgets.
10. Get out people. Be creative. Be entrepreneurial! The world is our playground…and it comes with cardboard boxes

Pursue your dreams and passions! Do it and I’ll invest $2 towards your idea!

I’m serious. I’ll send you $2 to be your first investor.

Your thoughts?

No doubt that Resurrection Sunday or Easter is the most significant event or Sunday for the Church. While it wouldn’t be wise to reduce the story of God’s narrative to one event, the death and resurrection of Christ is undoubtedly, crucial. Our faith and the credibility of the gospel hinges upon the historicity and veracity of the resurrection of Christ. For this reason, Easter is often referred to as the Super Bowl for Christian churches.

As expected, a great amount of time, energy, ideas, and resources are invested into this weekend.

And I get it. And I agree with it – in part.

It’s important and it’s understandable that churches are emphasizing this weekend and investing additional resources. At Quest, we host two services for Good Friday and three services for Easter (one on Saturday with a  service and a feast for the homeless community) and two services on Sunday. Typically, we’ve rented an off-site facility to have our usual only joint church service.

But I digress.

I love the events of Holy Week…

-  the uncomfortable reflections of Good Friday and culminating in the celebration of the Risen Lord. It is truly special. A worthwhile celebration!

But in recent years, there seems to be an increasing trend of using stuff to lure people to church on Easter weekend.  Now, seriously:

Who doesn’t want visitors, guests, and the unchurched/dischurched to come to church – especially on Easter Sunday? We all do. We all pray for such.

Door Prizes & Gimmicks?

But what makes me feel uncomfortable is the increasing tactics of using door prizes a la iPads, gadgets, TV sets, Xbox 360s, Nintendos, ferris wheels,  pony rides, helicopter egg drops, and other stuff to “entice” or “entertain” people to church.

Don’t believe me?

Couple years ago, a church in Texas hosted what I labeled “the momma of all Easter egg hunts” that included more than $1 million in prizes. In fact, it actually included stuff totaling over $4 million dollars in prizes. A particular church were giving away

flat flat-screen televisions, skateboards, Fender guitars, furniture and 15 cars — yes, cars — at its Easter services.

This year, I’ve seen several churches advertise “We’re giving away several iPad 3!!!” to go along with the usual suspects of door prizes, helicopter egg drops, XBox 360s, Nintendos, gift cards, and super guests. Speaking of super guests, I love and respect Tim Tebow but one church in Texas is having him preach their Easter sermon…and anticipating 30,000 people to come hear Tebow.

Wow. That’s alot of people so I guess that worked…

Am I just jealous since we’re not giving any doors prizes and thus, I’m not winning anything? No, that’s not it…I don’t think. And it’s not just random criticism. I really hope that readers don’t interpret this post as cynicism or as angry criticism:

There’s three main reasons why the concept of “door prizes” to attract people concerns me:

What you use to attract, you must use to keep people

It works.

It’s also dangerous…Partly because we forget or don’t want to acknowledge that what we use to “bring” people to church is what we then feel pressured or tempted to use to keep them to stay. Consumption breeds more consumption.

Translation: We’re using consumer tendencies to entice people and thus, we have to create unrealistic or dare I say, “unholy” consumeristic ways to keep people.

If we’re not careful, it keeps going and going.

• What’s better than toys? More toys!
• What’s better than a million eggs? A gazillion eggs!
• What’s better than cool lights? Much more cooler lights!
• What’s better than really cool and hip guest Christian bands? More cooler and hipper Christians bands!

Our church promos are better than your church’s promos!

The Gospel is enough.

And that’s really the heart of what I’m trying to say and I’m absolutely positive that all other pastors and church leaders feel this way.

But we need to do more than feel this way. We need to believe this and practice this. The events surround Crucifixion Friday and Resurrection Sunday are haunting and amazing. While many clamored for signs (then and now), I wonder if we’re giving in to our personal desire and the desires of a culture of entitlement that clamor for prizes and stuff.

Easter is beautiful and it’s significant.

Let’s love people. Let’s welcome people. Let’s practice deep hospitality. Let’s pray for our guest and visitors and treat them in the same way we treat those who come to our churches every single week.

And let’s communicate to them – as best as we can by God’s grace – the unrelenting love and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. The good news is truly Good News:

God loves us and gave us the His Son, Christ, so that we might not languish in separation but be reconciled with our God – our Father. Not only are we reconciled but God now invites us to be agents of Reconciliation in a world that is in need of mending, healing, and reconciliation.

That’s good news.

Go to a church…

If you’re going to a church that’s giving away prizes, gadgets, iPads, and such…more power to you. I hope many visitors and guests come and many return and are drawn to relationships and community. I sincerely mean this.

But if you’re not going to a church and you’re asking me for advice about what kind of church you should go to, it’s possible that churches giving away prizes are incredibly deep, missional, and substantive. This isn’t a criticism against them but if you’re looking for a church:

Go to a church that believes in Christ Crucified and Christ risen – every single day. Every single week. This is what they believe, teach, and live out. This is the good news they share to welcome people, encourage people, disciple people and release people.

That’s the gospel worth living for.

Good Friday.

Why is it “good?”  How could it possibly be good?

• In a culture that is ever so quick to get to the product
• In a culture that is ever so quick to avoid suffering and pain and seek ways to medicate ourselves to avoid pain
• In a culture that is ever so quick to jump to the bunnies and eggs
• In a culture that is ever so quick to commercialize, capitalize, and consumerize
• In a culture that is ever so quick to jump to the good news of Easter Sunday and Resurrection
• In a culture that is ever so quick to minimize the extent of Jesus’ suffering and crucifixion
• In a culture that is ever so quick to ‘disneyize’ the events of the brutal death of a man
• In a culture that is ever so quick to grab hold of grace as if we are entitled to it

Today matters.
Dark Friday matters.
His death matters.

So, let’s not be so quick to bypass this day. There’s a reason why in the Christian tradition – this day and service is considered the longest and darkest day of the year.

Let it be long.  Let it be dark.  Let it be silent.

Let it be uncomfortable. Death is always uncomfortable – especially when we’re complicit in this death.

While the good news of our beauty are clearly exemplified in the glorious news of the Resurrection…the depths of our darkness and depravity are  also exposed in the last days of Jesus’ life and crucifixion.

And once we understand, if even for a glimpse, the depths of our depravity and brokenness, the amazing depth of God’s grace and mercy is that much more understood and experienced. We understand that our broken image can be restored by the Creator of that original beauty.

Thank you Jesus for this day. For Dark Friday. For Holy Friday. For the cross, sacrifice, and atonement.

Thank you God that you have redeemed this day to be good.

Isaiah 53

Who believes what we’ve heard and seen? Who would have thought God’s saving power would look like this?
The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling,
a scrubby plant in a parched field.

There was nothing attractive about him,
nothing to cause us to take a second look
He was looked down on and passed over,
a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
We looked down on him, thought he was scum.

But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought he brought it on himself,
that God was punishing him for his own failures.
But it was our sins that did that to him,
that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Through his bruises we get healed.

We’re all like sheep who’ve wandered off and gotten lost.
We’ve all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And God has piled all our sins, everything we’ve done wrong, on him, on him.
He was beaten, he was tortured,
but he didn’t say a word.

Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered
and like a sheep being sheared,
he took it all in silence.
Justice miscarried, and he was led off—
and did anyone really know what was happening?
He died without a thought for his own welfare,
beaten bloody for the sins of my people.
They buried him with the wicked,
threw him in a grave with a rich man,
Even though he’d never hurt a soul
or said one word that wasn’t true.

Still, it’s what God had in mind all along,
to crush him with pain.
The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin
so that he’d see life come from it—life, life, and more life.
And God’s plan will deeply prosper through him.

Take a long look.

Stare into her eyes.

Stare and Focus.  You’ll see that she’s not that different than you and I.

This is Shaima Alawadi.

• She is a human being.
• She is Iraqi. She is American. She is Iraqi-American.
• She is a neighbor.
• She is a daughter.
• She is a mother…of 5 children.
• She is a wife.
• She is a friend.

Alawadi moved to the United States in 1993 with her family and was part of a wave of Shiite Muslim refugees who fled to Michigan after Saddam Hussein cracked down on an uprising in 1991.

After living in Dearborn for a few years, she moved to the San Diego area in 1996, graduated from high school and became a housewife raising five children, Al-Zayadi said.

Al-Zayadi said Alawadi’s brothers worked for the U.S. Army, serving as cultural advisers to train soldiers who were going to be deployed to the Middle East. Another family friend told the San Diego Union-Tribune that Alawadi’s husband had a similar job.

Shaima Alwadai, 32, was recently beaten to death – bludgeoned by a tire iron – in her own home in El Cajon (suburb of San Diego). Her body was first discovered by her 17 year old daughter and three days later, was taken off life support.

There was a note next to her body with these words:

“go back to your country, you terrorist”

God have mercy…

• Take a moment to read her story.
• Take a moment to stare at her face.
• Take a moment to remember her name.
• Take a moment to pray for her family.

Let’s recommit ourselves:

to mercy, justice, and compassion. Recommit to loving our neighbors. Recommit to advocating, protecting, and building relationships.

As someone that’s heard that phrase countless times – especially as a youngster, “Go back to your country” – May we help build a country (and a world) where all are welcome and safe.

Shalom. 

Here’s the news via CBS News:

EL CAJON, Calif. — A Muslim leader says that the body of an Iraqi-American woman who was found brutally beaten next to a note saying “go back to your country, you terrorist” will be flown to her home country for her funeral.

Shaima Alawadi, 32, was taken off life support on Saturday, three days after her 17-year-old daughter found her unconscious in the dining room of the family’s El Cajon home in suburban San Diego.

Investigators said they’re exploring all aspects of her slaying, including the possibility that the attack was a hate crime.

Alawadi’s father is a Shiite cleric in Iraq and the Iraqi government will pay for have her body sent back, a Muslim leader in Michigan told the Detroit Free-Press on Sunday.

“Everybody is outraged,” Imam Husham Al-Husainy of the Karbalaa Islamic Education Center in Dearborn said. “This is too evil, too criminal.”

The daughter, Fatima Al Himidi, told KUSI-TV her mother had been beaten on the head repeatedly with a tire iron, and that the note said “go back to your country, you terrorist.”

Police said the family had found a similar, threatening note earlier this month but did not report it to authorities.

Al Himidi told KGTV-TV her mother dismissed the first note, found outside the home, as a child’s prank.

Flowers were piled on the doorstep of the home Sunday. A neighbor said the family had moved in only a few weeks ago.

Friends said Alawadi wore a hijab, the Islamic head scarf.

Hayder Al-Zayadi, a family friend, told the Free-Press Alawadi moved to the United States in 1993 with her family and was part of a wave of Shiite Muslim refugees who fled to Michigan after Saddam Hussein cracked down on an uprising in 1991.

After living in Dearborn for a few years, she moved to the San Diego area in 1996, graduated from high school and became a housewife raising five children, Al-Zayadi said.

Al-Zayadi said Alawadi’s brothers worked for the U.S. Army, serving as cultural advisers to train soldiers who were going to be deployed to the Middle East. Another family friend told the San Diego Union-Tribune that Alawadi’s husband had a similar job.

El Cajon, northeast of downtown San Diego, is home to one of the largest Iraqi communities in the United States.

I don’t know how to approach this post in a politically correct way so I’ll just say it. It’s a quasi-post about weight, obesity, and overweight people in society.

There: I said it.

In some ways but especially in the church, it’s one of the “elephants” in the room.

And by that, I’m not try to sound like a jerk or smartarse in any way by the usage of elephant, it’s literally a rare a conversation we host. It’s certainly not something I regularly teach or preach about but I should if I care about my congregation.

And by that, I’m not saying that it should be directed at those who are overweight but to really approach it from the perspective of stewardship, body, and health. And that being said, I can tell you that I’m personally struggling with health, exercise, and the stewardship of my body.

But the conversation isn’t just about “weight” but there’s even a more important, critical, and soul question. What is it?

Our judgments:

It’s the way we judge those who are fat or obese. Just those words in themselves conjure up certain preconceptions, judgement, and assumptions.

And if we are truly honest,  we all do it on some level. We judge and make assumptions:

overweight, gluttony, lazy, not useful, or whatever

and perhaps most painfully from our church perspective, we go beyond judgment to condemnation:

not gifted.

not able to be used by God like “normal people.”

And that is something we need to repent for.

Honestly, I think what needs to happen is that both of these conversations need to happen – but always in the context of trust, love, and relationships. That’s why…it ought to happen in the church.

Because if they don’t, I can assure you they probably just happen in the minds and hearts of people – in isolation. And that’s where judgments fester.

Consider these words from one of my blog readers:

I’ve endured a lot of judgment and condemnation from people (pastors, church leaders, family) who have either said out loud to me or to my friends behind my back that I am an embarrassment, lazy, a burden, selfish, undisciplined, and perhaps the most hurtful . . . that they don’t believe I can be effective or credible in God’s work.

There are many underlying reasons for obesity; overeating is not always the cause. It’s very hurtful to make an assumption or critical judgment, or show pity or contempt. Why not get to know the person, spend time with them, ask them about their struggle, and become a friend rather than a critic.

You may be surprised to find treasure that has been discarded because of its packaging.

Watch this beautiful video:

But let me just share this video with you starring opera duo, Charlotte Jaconelli (16)  & Jonathan Antoine (17), as they sing ‘The Prayer’  in a very recent episode of Britain’s Got Talent 2012.

It’s beautiful, magical, and inspiring. I’m a sucker for these kinds of stories. Here’s 7 thoughts that randomly ran through my head:

1. The voice.

Wow. What a voice. Wow.

2. We all know what the judges and crowd were thinking.

It’s the same thought we all had about someone like Susan Boyle (“Wow…she’s old and doesn’t look the part.”), Sung-Bong Choi (“But he’s an orphan?”) and this duo: Jonathan and Charlotte. (“He’s fat.”)

And for some, perhaps, that’s all we see. How tragic.

Learning a bit more about Jonathan’s story, he shares about #3 and I’m sure the constant comparisons to his sister…who’s an aspiring model. You can’t make this up.

3. The impact of judgment to the soul.

Something haunting about how Jonathan describes the judgments of people:

“It took a little piece out of me in a sense.”

In an interview I read somewhere, Jonathan shared that has had been so badly bullied about his weight that he ”suffered a nervous breakdown in October and is currently seeing a psychiatrist.”

Before blowing away Simon Cowell and the rest of the judging panel at the BGT auditions, the curly-haired teenager opened up about his past.

‘At primary school I had the mick taken out of me and it damaged my confidence quite a bit,’ he said. ”When people would say something it would take a little piece out of me.’

However, despite suffering from a breakdown last year, Jonathan revealed that it was with the help of his singing partner Charlotte Jaconelli that he found the confidence to get up on stage.

4. I really like Simon Cowell.

Really blunt and honest but in my opinion, a helpful way. That’s me. We can’t have 100 Simon Cowells in our lives but we all need at least one Simon Cowell.

“Dump her…”

How honest can you get?

5. Collaboration and Loyalty.

No one is an island to themselves. No one.

“Well we’ve come on here as a duo and we’re going to stay here as a duo.”

6.  Carmen Elektra?

What in the world is Carmen Elektra doing there as a judge?  Really?

7. Who didn’t tear up even a little bit?

I want to know.

[ What are your thoughts?]

• About Jonathan and Charlotte?
• About the conversation of weight, health, obesity, and the judgments. Fair? Agree? Disagree?