Eugene Cho

i messed up today…

It’s 12:36am right now.

I’m doing a little work and getting ready to hit the sack but also taking some time to reflect on the past day. It wasn’t one of my better days…

Today, I messed up.

As much as I don’t want to admit it, I sucked as a father today.

In short,

I wasn’t present. I wasn’t fully here.

Today, I messed up.

I had a tough day and I brought it all home but  the kids showed me immense grace today. They listened to my excuses and embraced me.

Tomorrow, I’ll wake up and it’ll be a new day and another opportunity to live in God’s grace, hope, and love.

How about you? How was [is] your day?

I’m going to sleep, wake up, and live into this:

Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-23

Filed under: family

10 Responses

  1. Dear Eugene,
    My dad sucked as a father for the entirety of my childhood, and he didn’t ever acknowledge it. He’s spent the past 15 years trying to make up for it. You are lightyears ahead of where he was when I was a kid if you can admit it and accept their grace. and what great children you’ve raised that they extend it.

    My day has been hard. I am trying to continue to see God in where I’m at in life, but it’s not easy. I am clinging to him and unable to see him. When I get on the other side of this mountain, it’s gonna be awesome.

  2. Mike Worley says:

    Sometimes God’s grace is scene in the most unexpected areas in life….Oh how humbling it is to taste the Grace of the cross from those you are leading, especially one’s own kids.
    My dad was also a pastor growing up and unlike most PK’s I saw my Dad live a transparant life to his flock AND his family. Keep pressing Eugene for I vividly remember how my dad reacted in all those situations, as he lived out the Gospel….It’s those images that helped me grow up into Christ…..Keep pressing…..

  3. Jesse schroeder says:

    thanks so much for sharing this. This past week I had two really bad days and I hurt my family a lot. The recovery process is hard but it helps to know that other people struggle at times too. Thanks for your honesty and the verse. Its a good one I often forget.
    Blessings.

  4. Ann FR says:

    Thank you, Eugene, for reminding us that the journey is undertaken through the humility of love, confession, forgiveness and grace. What a gift your children have given you in letting go & giving grace & what a gift you’ve given your children in confessing & honoring the Lord!

    I recall my last conversation w/ my father before he died. The Holy Spirit enabled me to say to him, “Dad, I’ve been blessed to have you as my father.” He wept. He was a harsh father, a poor grandfather, and an awful husband. But, when I said those words, the grace of God poured through me in a flood, and I knew the message in every fiber of my being that God’s love is so powerful and victorious that God will indeed bless us through very imperfect people. If we’re waiting to be blessed only through perfect people, well…it’s just not going to happen. Confessing, giving grace and letting go of the messed-up-ness of ourselves & each other are integral to picking up our crosses & following Jesus each day. You’re a pastor of the Good Shepherd!

  5. Jin says:

    I had one of the worst days since coming to Seattle…. but i have such a wonderful wife that listens, understands, and reminds me of God’s grace in our life, and His plans for us. I woke up this morning a new person in so many ways, Man, that verse in Lamentations is so so so true. Thanks for sharing that.

  6. your friend says:

    We had severe flooding in this part of the world and through your sharing I was reminded to give grace to myself :-) because I am usually hard on myself.

    I was tired and all spent because I carried five thousand litres of muddy water to the street (to prevent more flooding)

    And then I made a hate-speech: I hate this weather! I hate my back pain… You know that type of speech.

    It did not make me feel better, of course. Only God’s grace that I took in, after reading your blog.

    Thank you.

  7. Marty says:

    Fellowship is wonderful and God’s grace abundant. In reading the above responses, you are in God’s fellowship, the good the bad and sometimes ugly… God uses it all, sometimes to my own embarasement(pride)AND our children need to see what a heart felt appology looks like and what it’s like to minister… don’t you think?

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One Day’s Wages

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Final sunset.

Aloha. Mahalo. Hana hou. Ohana.

Thank you, Kona, the Whitlocks, YWAM, sea turtles, Nemo, Restorers DTS, and Scandinavian Shaved Ice. Our three children.

One will be heading off to college in one year. The 2nd in three years. In six years, Minhee and I will be empty nesters. As a young parent, my prayers for them often surrounded their purpose in life. While I still ponder those things, there are three things that I most pray for:

1. That they may love Christ and obey Christ. Not just the idea but to actually follow Christ and thus, to love people.

2. To hold God's Word - the Holy Scriptures - dear and near to their hearts.

3. To love one another and be there for one another for life. To be loyal to one another. To protect one another. To never allow pettiness, conflicts, jealousy,  money, or whatever to get between them in the future. Ever. 
May it be so. Amen. Kona sunset. #nofilter

Perhaps from the outside...things look great but this has been one of the most challenging years of our life. The most painful has involved one of our kids who've had to endure through a lifelong chronic illness. This year, we've gone to the hospital 3-4 times/week trying to get her better. Ups and downs. Emotional roller coaster. Parents will understand this but nothing hurts more than a sick child...especially when you can't "fix" the situation. We were praying that our trip to Hawaii would be a balm for her soul...but it has been hard. Really hard. Lots of tears hard. But soaking in this sunset with our kids is something we don't want to take for granted.

We continue to pray and hope. Hope is not that God promises us perfection or everything we want but that in all situations...God is with us. Believing - while faltering - in this truth for our child. My Hawaiian Seattle Korean queen. #kona @minheejcho A family that hikes together stays together. #kona #pololuvalley Searching for Nemo. #kona #snorkeling #speechless

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