Eugene Cho

reason #17,251 why i respect my wife

I don’t have a perfect marriage. I am not perfect. Minhee, my wife, is not perfect as well.

We have shared some of our mistakes in our marriage. I share about my funk. But having said all of this, we love one another and live by grace within the covenant of marriage…

I also respect and admire her for so many things. Some of them include her gentleness, humility, and…her sense of humor. I walked into our bedroom last Sunday with her doing her facial mask thing (which she rarely does). It made me laugh since it kind of scared me.  I took a picture and when I threatened to post in on Facebook, she responded:

“You should. People need to laugh and enjoy life.”

After I posted the picture (below), many commenters freaked out and wondered what kind of big trouble I would get into for posting the picture. :-)

As Minhee and I both enter our 40s, our “lens” has and continues to change. For the same reason that I wouldn’t have had the guts to share publicly about our biggest mistakes in our marriage in the past, I don’t think Minhee would have been willing or able to laugh at herself and actually encourage me to post the picture 10 years ago (or maybe even more recently).

It’s not that we don’t care about our image but maybe it’s because we do – in a changing way.

And in our growing age (and hopefully maturity), we both know that the image of perfection is simply unattainable, unrealistic, and damaging – to ourselves and to others.

You’ve heard it said that people need to take their masks off…
But in this case, maybe we should show our masks.

And while we’re at it, my beauty is all natural. No mask required!

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6 Responses

  1. Dee Small says:

    Please tell Minhee that I do the same thing, I am 60 and mine is GREEN. And my husband understands this about me. :)

  2. laura jeong says:

    Ain’t no shame to admit that you were scared. it can be a scary sight! and might I add that I love when people are able to shamelessly, without being self-degrading, show their masks (which I’m learning how to do)

  3. Melissa says:

    I think this posting is very genuine and sincere. I love the fact that you and your wife have a marriage filled with humor as we can tell by this posting. It is definately a reminder that we all should take a step back and… laugh. I enjoyed reading this posting because it did just that, take a little stress off my back and make me realize there are times when we need to relax and stop taking life so seriously. Thanks!

  4. Chris says:

    Thanks, eugene and minhee! this post is really important to me. i recently had a similar realization and appreciation for how God has granted me courage and changed my obsessions with self-image… brought on by the fact that i put on a wetsuit for surfing. years, even months ago, i probably would have skipped out on a really fun activity just to get out of that kind of attire.

    so, thanks. =)

  5. Ann F-R says:

    Minhee, I had some sample chocolate masques that I just disposed of — never took the time to sit long enough to wear one. Or, maybe I was avoiding the temptation to lick my lips? :D

  6. Jason says:

    humor is so vital to the life of a marriage

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My soul rejuvenates when I dance with trees. Thank you, Redwood Forest. What are human beings that you are mindful of them, mortals that you care for them? Yet you have made them a little lower than God and crowned them with glory and honor. - Psalm 8:4-5 #WeAreSoLittleYetGodLovesUsSo "A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." - Ruth Bell Graham #truth #amen #TryingTooHardToLookCool
pc: @trintaay Worked my final shift at @qcafe today. Thank you, neighbors, patrons, artists, musicians, students, and Questers. An amazing 13 years...with lots of challenges in between but now, the church is on the move.  Worked the espresso bar today for one last time for the Q with dear friends, JKO and Randor. Loved looking through all the live music show posters. We hosted some incredible shows including Ingrid Michaelson, Allen Stone, Macklemore before he became Macklemore, Josh Garrels, Chris Tomlin, Head and the Heart, Nicklecreek, Joy Williams,  Propaganda, and so many more. End of an era. #qcafe

pc: @trintaay This morning. Enjoying some calm before the storm. Also landed Moby Dick. My smile says it all. #CaptainChohab #cascadescamp  #매운탕 #monsterbass #fishon Breathe. Show yourself some grace. We can't do everything for everyone in every situation. Do what you can and do it with a cheerful heart.

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